American Idol, Season 10 – Top 5 Performances

Hooray, we’re finally doin’ the American Idol two-step and we’re getting 2 songs each week from our superstars in the making. Only, it’s a little less fun this year because these final five are …so … darn …good! Sheryl Crow was our guest judge of the night and Ryan said she can trace her humble beginnings back to her days as a back-up singer for Michael Jackson. That’s not exactly a “humble” beginning. A humble beginning is being the house back-up singer on American Idol watching all these punk kids take all the spot light as the back-up singers stand in the smokey background and slowly walk on stage wishing like hell a show like American Idol had existed when they were in their late-teens or early 20s.

They say don’t live life with regrets, but only 2 guys on Earth have that luxury …Bill Gates and that Zuckerberg Facebook guy. The rest of us are singing background vocals to the American Idol contestants of our dreams …dang it …I had a really good metaphor working there for a minute.

Onto the singing and the analysis.

James Durbin went first. James sang “Closer to the Edge” by Thirty Seconds to Mars. He definitely did too much walking around during the performance and lost focus and missed a few notes. The mantra from the judges for the night was, “who’s in it to win it?” Apparently, James is in-it-to-win-it (I.I.T.W.I.) and Randy and Jennifer Lopez both recognized it in James performance. I takes a very refined pallet to be able to hear the I.I.T.W.I. within a performance and distinguish it from those N.I.I.T.W.I. It’s like J-Lo and Randy are sommeliers to the various wines represented by the Idol finalists. Hey …better metaphor. Still could use a re-write. Anyway, James is very good but he should be hoping for the Daughtry effect at this point …lose before the top-3 and keep people from hating him. If David Cook, Kris Alan, and Lee DeWyze had lost before the final 3, they’d be selling more records.

James Durbin’s second song was “Without You” and it gave James yet another reason to cry on TV. Over the years on Idol, I think 1 or 2 have tried this song and nobody usually has the chops – but James does. Do you like his crying? I hate it. He cried so hard when Stefano was booted, he’s like the boy who cried wolf …only, he’s the boy who cried crybaby. He cries so much, he’s either a total phony or he’s highly unstable and he does NOT need the pressure that comes with fame. Randy said the performance was so good, this is James’s competition to lose. I won’t go that far. But I will say, if Lauren or Scotty slip up, James could leap frog them. James probably sang that song 30 times this week, right? He sang it in studio, in rehearsals, probably in his hotel room, and probably over the phone …he should be all cried out, for goodness sake. Hold it together, dude. After the performance and all through the judges comments, he looked like someone just told him his Grandma died.

Jacob Lusk was next and I would’ve loved if he had said, “ya know Ryan …I’m not actually in this to win this. I mostly wanted to almost make the Top-12 and then spend the rest of my life telling everyone that Idol is stupid and racist and wouldn’t know talent if it sat on their smug fat faces. But then, Ryan …I made it here, so now I can’t be all angry and bitter.” Jacob’s first song last night was Jordan “The Gentle Giant” Sparks’s “No Air” and all it did for me was remind me, wow, the Gentle Giant had a mad crazy voice and she was in it to win it. James has a big voice, but his voice was not suited to “No Air” which was written for a chick and, specifically, Jordan Sparks. But what choice did he have, right? It’s not like there’s any male R&B singers currently on the pop charts. Randy had my back and winced through his analysis saying Jacob was “sharp” and this song wasn’t anywhere near the kind or artist Jacob Lusk can be.

Jacob’s second song was Nazareth’s “Love Hurts” featuring a harp. There is not enough harp music on the pop charts. Jimmy Iovine picked a gem for Jacob, because Jacob’s performance was, by far, without a doubt, the best song of the night and I will have words with any man who says that wasn’t one of the more amazing performances …ever! High notes, low notes, runs, loud, soft …everything. Randy said he might’ve hit the highest note ever heard on Idol’s stage …it was crazy. But as good as Jacob is, he can’t win.

Can we talk about this? Jacob Lusk cannot be Usher, or Taio Cruz, or Neyo, or Bruno Mars. Everyone keeps comparing him to Luther Vandross and Jacob seemed to think that Luther was also a pop arist …and he was …in the 1980s. It worked in the 1980s. Artists like Luther Vandross, Lionel Richie, and Anita Baker were able to chart because Top 40 radio still played actual top-40 songs regardless of genre. Seriously …somewhere online, on the weekends, there’s a station that plays old Top-40 countdowns as hosted by Rick Dees and you can hear top-40 countdowns that feature Richard Marx, Gloria Estefan, New Kids on the Block, Poison, and Bel Biv Devoe back to back to back. And, there were stations back then that played all those artists. Stations don’t have playlists like that any more. Lusk could be a great R&B artist, and possibly a Gospel crossover, but he’s never going to be in any station’s Hot 5 at 5 sandwiched between Britney Spears, Lady Gaga, and Train.

Lauren Alaina …lemme hear you Alainerds!!!! …Lauren Alaina tackled Carrie Underwood’s “Flat on the Floor” and has never been better. The judges have been begging her to be confident and show some attitude, and she did it all on this one. She looked hot, she dressed like a rocker, but still looks like the girl-next-door.

Then, Lauren Alaina paid tribute to the Lawrence Welk Show singing “Unchained Melody” in a sky blue, a-line, free-flowing gown. Did the Mandrell sisters appear on Lawrence Welk? Because they would’ve definitely worn dresses like that. Lauren Alaina can save Idol (not that it’s completely hurting still being the #1 and #2 TV show every week). Eventually, Idol is going to crown one too many Lee DeWyze’s and as more of them softly fade into obscurity and into an answer to the trivia question, “Name 5 American Idol Winners” and your Uncle will really struggle to answer it and then he’ll quit because questions like that are silly, and so is Idol.

His generation will never understand.

“Gone” by Montgomery Gentry only failed Scotty McCreery because his singing about losing someone doesn’t sound genuine. However, Scotty has so much personality, it’s crazy. Stee-Ty said it best when he said Scotty, to date, has been a puritan, but tonight he danced with the devil. J-Lo loved how Scotty owned the stage. And he did. Earlier, James Durbin sorta walked around and slapped some high-fives, but Scotty “performs”. He rolls his eyes, he waves to the balcony, he acts surprised, and he pumps his fist to emphasize a point …he’s just very good.

Is he good enough to tackle Elvis’s “Always on my Mind?” Yes …he’s definitely that good. Jimmy Iovine’s pre-performance analysis was for Scotty to avoid competing directly in a note-for-note singing competition with the other contestants, and instead stay true to himself as a down-home, aw-shucks, country boy. I’ve been saying it for years …if someone is born to sing country music, why make them sing show tunes?

Considering every other song on the radio is a Lady Gaga song, it’s hard for me to believe there exists a Lady Gaga song that’s unreleased. But apparently, Lady Gaga has yet to release “You and I” and someone called Lady Gaga and then Lady Gaga called Haley Reinhart and told Haley she should do the song. Riiiiight. I’m sure that’s how it happened. Orrrrr, this was all some elaborate way to say “Lady Gaga” on TV and they probably begged Lady Gaga to come on the show, but Lady Gaga’s people said, “no, she won’t appear on the show, but we’ll give you a song,” and Fox said, “OK, but you gotta come on for the finale or the charity show” and they all said, “deal.” And then Fox told Haley, “you’re singing this song.” And Haley said, “what …do I really have to?” And Fox said, “yes, here’s a lotta money.” And Haley said, “Oh …ok, I don’t have a lotta money, so I’ll sing it.” Every judge agreed it was a mistake. But, mark my words, Lady Gaga will release this as a single soon and she’ll cite “overwhelming demand from all her fans who heard Haley sing it on American Idol,” and because of all this hype, it will chart higher than it would have if released without all the theatrics.

Oh, entertainment …you’ve jaded me.

Luckily Sheryl Crow and Jimmy Iovine really saved Haley and helped her arrange “House of the Rising Sun” by The Animals and it was crazy cool. Like, so cool I might buy it from iTunes today if I get a moment. Boy oh boy …everyone left in the top-4 (I’m already voting out Jacob) is clicking. Stee-Ty loved her raspiness (because he’s raspy) and everyone loved how big and soaring and full of attitude it was.

If you haven’t guessed it, I’m 99% confident that Jacob Lusk won’t be back next week. I don’t see how this can go any other way. I’m sorry, Jacob.

Another week is in the books and we’re getting closer to our next Idol. We’re also getting dangerously close to overexposing Stee-Ty and J-Lo. Steven Tyler was on Dateline this past weekend, and he’s on the cover of Rolling Stone and People. That’s how big the Idol machine is …J-Lo has a top-10 song and is popular again, and everyone suddenly seems to care what Steven Tyler has to say …and he’s saying he did lots and lots and lots (and lots) of drugs. God bless those rock stars. God bless my readers. God bless American Idol.

See you tomorrow and I’ll be smug or indifferent. I promise.

I’m also happy Jordin Sparks never got romantically involved with Chris Brown just because they performed this duet …then again, if he had tried to hit her, Jordin would’ve mopped the floor with him.