American Idol, Season 10: Top 7 Results

The greatest thing about being a guy who blogs about American Idol is the rare moments when I’m 100% right in my predictions and I can strut around the spunkybean offices like I’m king of the Internet. I don’t care that as the number of contestants shrinks that, statistically, it’s easier to be right. For today, I’m Nostradamus. Nostrodamus is famous for a few predictions that only loosely resemble the future, but I was 100% accurate. I said Stephano would be ousted, and I was sooo right. Here’s some more predictions …Lauren Alaina will win it all. I’m going to have a cup of coffee in 4 1/2 minutes from now. The Detroit Lions are going to win the Super Bowl next year.

I’m on fire, baby! Someday they’ll make a movie about me.

Katy Perry and Kanye West on American Idol …let’s talk about it. I dig her new song “E.T” and find the duet a very odd collaboration. How did the angriest guy in pop music (Kanye West) come together with one of the most bubble-gummy ladies in music (Katy Perry). Seeing them on stage together was like watching a crocodile perform next to a fluffy ball of cotton candy (all kinds of metaphors and symbolism in that sentence …wow, that was a good sentence, if I do say so myself). Now, sadly, every time I see Katy Perry perform live all I can think about is my ongoing debate with spunkybean’s Myndi about whether Glee’s Lea Michele is a better singer than Katy Perry. I said Katy was better. Hmmmm. If Disney was picking a voice for a princess in their next animated classic, maybe Lea Michele is better vocally. I dunno. It’s just too close to call. I hope spunkybean really sparks a debate on this and these two become bitter rivals for years like Britney v. Aguilara and someday, when they’re both 50, they finally perform a duet together and an entire generation can feel better knowing they’ve put aside their petty differences and that it doesn’t matter who’s the better singer. What matters is that they’re raising money for a good cause. That’s a ways down the road.

For now …who’s a better singer? Katy Perry or Lea Michele?

Part of me wonders if Stefano turned people off with the pre-performance tribute on Wednesday. In the video, they focused solely on the fact that Stefano is a huge flirt. They showed him mackin’ on the make-up lady, mackin’ with a reporter back stage, and maybe that made some girls mad. Ya know, hunky teen idols (if he was going that direction) don’t do themselves any favors when they get a serious girlfriend, because teenage girls like to think if circumstances presented themselves right, they could potentially date their idol (in this case, Stefano). So, even tho very few people at this point in time would admit to having a crush on Stefano, seeing him acting like such a “playa” might’ve cost him some votes. Oh, and also the other segment of the population who watch this show (so-called “soccer moms”) didn’t like seeing that nice-guy Stefano was just another jerk kind of boy and their old h.s. emotional wounds changed their votes. These same moms probably paused their DVRs, in fact, and then told their 12 year old daughters, “you need to watch out for guys like Stefano. They only want to take your virginity and then they will break up with you and then 20 years later try and “friend” you on Facebook, but don’t “friend” them; sex can wait, and no you are not going to the concert this summer dressed like that, what will people think? I love your father and he may not be the man of my dreams, but he’s a good provider and an honest man. Stay away from Stefano!!!!!”

Point is, watch out for Stefano.

I mean, that David Cook feller, who performed last night and won Idol a few seasons ago …he’d never love ya and leave ya …right? Now that’s the kind of American Idol we can all rally behind. We’ve proven over 9 seasons that we don’t want slutty chicks, hunky dudes, or troubled Idols …we want wholesome and plain. Sadly for David Cook, all his songs sound exactly the same to me and because of his run to Idoldom, I assume every song he sings is just a creative cover of someone else’s song.

Back to the results. The bottom-three were Haley, J-Lusk, and Stefano and I was surprised to see J-Lusk there. The judges were right, I guess, in that his “Dance with my Father” was too controlled and not big enough. This could be setting him up for a screaming, writhing performance next week which I predict will be equally annoying and could land him back in the bottom three. Then again, now that there’s only 6 contestants remaining, and now that it’s very apparent this is a two horse race between Scotty and Lauren, the rest of them need to go for broke every time.

Here’s an experiment you can do at home. Ask some random people to name anyone left on American Idol and if they are “sorta watching” or “totally watching”, my guess is most will start with Scotty and Lauren and then have to pause to try and remember the other four. In fact, I’d love if you did this and left comments about this experiment. Depending on which kids are top of mind, I think we can all predict the winner. I’m going to ask my barista in a minute here, just to get this experiment rolling. I’m also guessing James Durbin and Casey Abrams might only be known as “that-guy-who-screams” and “the kid with the beard.”

Either way, this is the stretch run and ratings typically grow every week from here on out, which means the guest performers and guest judges get better and better …even though, for my money, they can bring back Will.i.Amcleff Jean every week because he’s hilarious. The production value of each show starts to get better, and if you like this show and live singing, we’re very soon start getting two and three songs from each of these kids every week.

I see no reason the Scotty and Alaina train should be derailed. Not only will my early predictions come true, but my longtime “go Country” theory (meaning if you want to make the Top-5 on Idol, just put on a cowboy hat and act like a Country star) will also prove true. Pia would be here today if she had only performed Shania and Reba songs.

I’d like to say we’ll miss Stefano, but it’s not true. All I’ll think about now is what song they’ll force him to sing night in and night out on tour this summer, and will it be well timed with my potty break. This summer we’re doing it. And Idol’s Live get-together and concert outing. Mark it down.

Thanks for reading. See you next week.

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