American Idol, Season 11: Group Sing Drama Night

And we’re back with everyone’s least favorite glee clubs – the American Idol group-sing portion, where egos, personalities, and performance standards clash. It’s the rare episode where Ryan Seacrest, Jennifer Lopez, Steven Tyler, and Randy Jackson don’t even appear. It’s noticeable when they’re not in the episode because, well, the structure falls off a little. At present, none of these kids are stars or interesting to us yet, and all the Ryan voice-overs can’t help make a somewhat boring night more interesting. Yes, this is all part of it and it separates the weak from the strong, but group-rehearsal night needs to be two hours. Maybe. I don’t know. I think I’d enjoy seeing more groups rehearsing and getting along and showing us what successful groups do. Maybe.

The 24 hours that passed between yesterday and that girl falling off stage and the dramatic conclusion might’ve been the longest 24 hours of my life. I could barely focus at work, I chewed on my fingernails, and I just kept replaying the scene over and over in my head wondering if that producer who was standing just a few feet off stage could’ve caught her if he really had tried and wasn’t playing Words with Friends all the damn time. Jeez! These kids these days and their smartphones. Well, turns out, she only “almost fainted” and mostly landed on her feet, and just needed some cold water, some peppermint, and to sit upright.

Holy drama! Fainting is a national tragedy, people. Support your local Make Fainting a Faint Memory charities and don’t let what happened to Symone Black . . . don’t let it happen again.

Last night started with the dramatic conclusion of Day 2 and the first half of the 309 Hollywood hopefuls were sent home. We moved onto group singing and we were taken through a quick montage of meltdowns of Idols past – oh, those crying, unstable kids . . . how you entertain me.

The group singing rules were simple: (1) form groups of 4 or 5; (2) groups must have at least one member from Day 1 and Day 2. Those rules really threw everybody into a tizzy because most had already eye-balled and bonded with kids from their day. You would think it wouldn’t be that hard and groups of same-day people would just sorta wander around and trade members, but it was tough for a lot of people.

Actually, I understand how difficult this might be. Half these kids are very likely theatre kids and they all understand how to rehearse and warm-up their voices and do “theatre stuff.” Then you have the professional singers who probably can bond with the other “rockers” or whatever. And finally, you’ve got the kids who made it out here on a whim and all they’ve ever known is singing for their parents and singing on their own, and bonding and making friends isn’t their strong suit.

The cop chick couldn’t find a group. The homeless woodland dweller couldn’t find a group and she had flu symptoms. And then this one chick was walking around turning down groups which, if they’ve ever watched the show (and they all have, I’m confident of that), it doesn’t matter about the group you’re in (heheh, I wrote “urine”). By now, you’re mostly into the next phase and you just need to do your thing and play nice and practice, or you’re not. Time and time again we’ve see HORRIBLE groups perform and sometimes the entire group gets through.

But I love it all!

I love the girls who can’t find groups and think it’s because of the attitudes of everyone else. I love the stage moms and dads they show and know it must be even way more awesome than that with all the stage moms and dads directing their kids within the group, and trying to direct the groups. I love the kids who want to quit. I love the kids who do quit. And I love the kids who stick it through, whether they’re sick or not, and realize how big the moment is. Say what you will about American Idol, but it’s a machine. Not as a big of a machine as it once was, but it’s still the #1 show on TV and has a massive audience and someone is going to win and when they win, they’ll have been on TV, on the biggest show on TV, for 14 or 15 weeks. And even if you don’t win, you still get multiple weeks on camera and try and convey your personality to the world and there’s quite a few opportunities for Idol alums . . . from blogging gigs, to vlogging gigs, to web show hosting, and even some of them end-up on TVGuide channel and E! doing special correspondence pieces. What I’m saying is . . . if I was a stage mom or stage dad, I’d tell my kid to shut up, work hard, and keep his/her eyes open.

I always wonder if the groups benefit more by simply learning their songs and their words and a few harmonies, and I think it’s sorta of a waste of time to focus so much time on dance moves and too many harmonies. The judges aren’t going to let some amazing singers go home just because they can’t dance. Part of me always wonders if this whole “group round” is just to make the weak to crack and implode. Think about it . . . among the 10 winners and 10 runner ups, and dozens of top-4 and top-5 finishers, how many of them are remembered for their “group” moments?
And that was that. All the drama of forming groups and conflicting personalities and not much more. I should’ve been better at taking notes and matching up names with groups and stuff, but the whole thing ended more quickly than I expected. I figure there were about 150 kids singing in groups, and we saw about 40 total kids, so the rest must’ve just been practicing hard and rehearsing, not puking, and getting some rest.

Next week, we’ll see the groups and then we’ll see kids filtered into waiting room and told whether they’re staying or going.

Join me next week where I’ll try and avoid the flu, passing out, and fighting with the people who help me choreograph my American Idol columns. See you then. Thanks for reading.

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