Bachelor Pad, Episode 4: Beyonce and Holly Durst Irreplaceable?

I have to start by applauding the editor of this week’s Bachelor Pad episode… someone is working on their Emmy submissions!  I’d give this guy a trophy between Michelle’s well spliced commentary and the whole cut to Blake and Holly making out, now cut to Michael pining anxiously, now cut back over to Blake and Holly with a sad Michael voiceover proclaiming how ‘irreplaceable’ she is.  Now cut to me, horrified and heartbroken for Michael… was that a tear that rolled down my cheek?  I have a strange feeling when Michael watches this episode back he’ll be changing his tune to “to the left to the left, everything you own in a box to the left”.  On most days I prefer to keep up my ongoing fight with Don, but there are bigger villains to deal with today.  And, no, to much of my readers’ surprise, I am not referring to Blake but to Holly.

Sure Blake is disgusting, and clearly not a good person, but at least he exposes that.  Holly on the other hand, in typical female fashion tries to hide it.  Yes, I think we have all agreed that Melissa is indeed ‘Bat Shit Crazy’, but I about fell out of my seat when she was mimicking Holly’s feigned surprise over being selected to go on Blake’s one-on-one date.  I know most of what Melissa was claiming was spoken out of jealousy, but in all honesty, she was right.  I was even more delighted when in a rage Melissa referred to Holly as a “slutty ass bitch”, without any sort of censorship, yet somehow her calling Blake a “douche bag” was cause for bleeping.

So you ask ‘is Holly’s feigned surprise over being picked on the date really reason to call her conniving?’ and I’ll respond ‘no it’s not, but you know what is?’  (I will now proceed to explain all reasons in list form for optimum impact)

• After her skiing date with Blake, Holly makes hurtful side commentary such as “I don’t think I’ve been on a date this great ever” and “I have never had so much fun in my life”.  All nice things to say on a date, so long as your ex-fiance isn’t watching.
• Holly chooses to stay overnight with Blake and kiss him on camera when she had an option of going back to the house.  Once again, the key word here is ‘on camera’.
• And this is the absolute worst: When she comes back after her date, Michael lays everything out on the line and makes it very clear that he loves her and wants her back.  Instead of fessing up to the true fact that she is no longer into him, she says manipulative things to divert herself from having to say it back like “I want to be believe you, but you understand why I don’t trust you”.  Then she gets him to agree with that statement! UN-BELIEVEABLE!  Yes, Michael did leave her this last time, but are we forgetting the fact that she left him first?  She started it.

Ugh, I think I’m about to jump off Team Ladies and start rooting for the guys… but then I remember Kasey is on that team and I come to my senses.  There is one good thing in this for Michael however, I’m talking frontrunner for the next season of the Bachelor.  Sure I haven’t heard any buzz about it yet, but desperate woman sure do love a sensitive man who is looking to marry.

So I guess you are probably starting to wonder if anything else happened during this episode?  Well not a whole lot, other than Melissa once again going bat shit crazy at the news that Blake had lied and decided to take another woman on his date rather than his partner.  This time I thought she was at least justified in her rage.  Also on this week’s show Ella won a kissing contest and got to take Kirk out on a hot air balloon ride.  I adore both of them so when it ended with a kiss I wasn’t even angry that this single mom had moved in on my man.  Get it girl!  Other new developments involved the redemption of William or as some call him Bill.  I was sad to see William go (not so sad to see Melissa go) at the end of tonight’s episode because I felt I was finally just starting to see the sweet funny guy that everyone was supposed to love during last season’s The Bachelorette (if it weren’t for one bad joke and female insecurities!).  I’m glad too that Jake and Michelle aren’t the only one’s seizing this opportunity to not only try to win money but also good graces.  Sure in the end the money can only go to two, but redemption can go to anyone who seeks after it, just ask my friend Jesus Christ.

Until next week….. that’s all she wrote…..