Modern Family wrapped up the season with a trip to Florida for the funeral of Phil’s mother.  Phil and Claire turned out to be the worst vacuum sales team ever, Cam and Manny learned that retired life suited them, Jay ran into a woman from his past, Mitchell made a career decision, and Alex paid special tribute to her grandmother.  And as is our wont, we’ve got the best lines from Modern Family “Goodnight, Gracie”.


ALEX: (talking about her grandmother) “She and I had a special connection.”

LUKE: “We all did.”

ALEX: “But mostly me. She said I was just like her.”

HALEY: “Was she weirdly competitive, too?”


CAM: “Grace was such a kind and whimsical soul. The different animals she put antlers on for Christmas cards? Inspired.”

PHIL: “Not a single one was photoshopped.”

CAM: “Not even the alligator?

PHIL: “Cost her the tip of her pinky, but she had no regrets.”


GLORIA: “I am in mourning. In Colombia, we take death very seriously.”

ALEX: “Where don’t they?”


“I love it here! Manicured lawns, planned activities, early dinners… what more does a kid need?” — Manny, on the retirement community


MANNY: “You seem tense. You know they have a steam room? Wanna join me for a schvitz?”

CAM: “Please, it’sFlorida. If I want to sweat more, I’ll just move my arms.”


CAM: “I’m gay.”

LADY: “My grandson is gay. His name is Daniel Schulman. Do you know him?”

CAM: “Oh! Is he about this tall, dark hair, circumcised?”


“She reminds me of my abuela, with her head scarf and her petty theft charges.”–Gloria, talking about an unrepresented woman in court that she wants Mitchell to help


CLAIRE: (Reading a letter from Phil’s mother) “Dear Phil, you’ve always been the most wonderful son, and now I need you to do one last thing for me…”

PHIL: “Ohhh, no. She’s gonna ask me to throw her ashes in the Pope’s face.”


“It’s too soon, and my dad’s not a cartoon bear. He’s perfectly capable of making intelligent decisions.” — Phil

“Is this chain in case you swallow it?” — Luke, on the pocketwatch his grandmother left him


MITCH: “Did you see that? I won! I can’t believe it!”

GLORIA: “Yes, it scares me that winning is such a surprise for you.”


“The only influence my client was under that night was his love of boating.” — Mitchell, defending a stranger

“People do weird things when they’re on drugs. When Dylan was on Vicodin after his root canal, he bought the complete DVD set of Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.” — Haley


JAY: “Jay Pritchett. Frank Dunphy’s son is married to my daughter.”

NEIGHBOR: “Oh, I’m so sorry.”

JAY: “Ah, he grows on you. Oh, you’re talking about the death. Thank you.”


LADY: “Where’d a farm boy like you learn to play Mah Jong?”

CAM: “One summer I worked at the Central Missouri B’nai Brith. It’s the nation’s smallest chapter.”


“I coughed on the phone once, and she overnighted me soup. When I wanted to learn how to ski, she knit me a sweater. When I wanted to be a marine biologist, she knit me a sweater with a whale on it.” — Phil

“I’m down there for a funeral. Such a sad event. And I end up finding something I thought was lost forever. This beautiful moment that meant so much to both of us, set against the backdrop of fighting commies. There’s your movie.” — Jay

“Turns out she sent more men off to war than Lyndon Johnson.”–Jay, talking about the woman who took his virginity

“Your majesty, I didn’t do anything wrong.”–Gloria, addressing the judge


Anything you’d like to add?  Let us know in the comments!  And we’ll see you next season!  Well, we’ll see you before then because we’re here every day, but you know what we mean – we’ll see the Dunphy-Pritchett-Delgado-Tuckers next season.

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One Response to Best Lines from Modern Family – “Goodnight, Gracie”

  1. Nosgoth says:

    There were some hilarious moments in “Goodnight Gracie’, which is pretty amazing because it was kind of an intense episode. But that just speaks to the quality of everyone involved in Modern Family’s creation, that they can balance the touching moments with the laughs. This episode really brought all the season’s threads together too, and me glad that I’ve been recording every episode since I got the DISH Hopper (now that I have more than enough storage space to DVR everything I want to). So I can’t wait to rewatch this season shortly before the next starts. Working at DISH, I was eager to get a Hopper installed in my house as soon as it came out. It’s is an amazing Whole-Home DVR, and this thing has constantly impressed me. It has so much storage space–up to 2,000 hours of it–that I’ve been able to hoard entire seasons of a number of my favorite shows, and I still haven’t even made a dent in the memory!

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