It’s Valentine’s Day, and that means Clive Bixby is back!  Yes, Phil Dunphy revisited his romantic persona for yet another ill-fated elaborate Valentine’s Day plan.  And this year, the episode was split up with each act devoted to one of the show’s couples.  Jay and Gloria attempted to get their lives back on track after the baby, and Camand Mitchell took in a new housemate – Dylan.  (Didn’t see that one coming, did you?)  Luckily for us, Dylan treated us to a truly terrible song, which hasn’t happened for a while.  (Kid’s the best in the business at awful songs.)  And because we love you, we’ve got the best lines from Modern Family “Heart Broken”.

“Quick question: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you… fell… I’m gonna come in again.” — Phil, as Clive Bixby

CLAIRE: “We are watching Baby Joe on Valentine’s Day so my dad and Gloria can…”
PHIL: “Make love.”
CLAIRE: “Eeew. Don’t. The point is, we are celebrating a day early.”
PHIL: “So they can be intimate.”
CLAIRE: “You more than made that point.”
PHIL: “I’m just saying. It’s a long wait after giving birth. Six weeks. I couldn’t keep my hands off this one for that long. I can only imagine what Jay’s going through.”

“I can make any kind of knot. It’s like I have a sailor in my mouth.” — “Clive Bixby”

“Dunphy men get nosebleeds, I told you that when we got married. It was in my vows.” — Phil

“This might have been my fault. I think I was being too sexy.” — Phil, after Claire suffered a ‘heart event’

“Happy Valentine’s Day! It’s the one day of the year when the world tries to be as romantic as I am all the time. Good luck, world.” — Manny

JAY: “Put the kid down.”
GLORIA: “I can’t – he’s being a real Pritchett.”
JAY: “We need to come up with a different term for that.”

“Where were all these distractions the night Joe was conceived? I’m kidding, he’s a blessing.” — Jay

“I know a lot of people think I’m attracted to Jay because of his money, but they’re wrong. I’m attracted to him because he’s sexy. And he’s never been sexier than today. The suit. The carrying of the boxes. The yelling on the phone. And the drilling. So much drilling.” — Gloria

“My secret admirer requested I wear a hat with a feather in it. I’m like, ‘which one?’.” — Manny

CAM: “Sometimes, when we’re around (our single friends) we feel a little guilty for having found each other. Like we’re waving our love in their faces.”
MITCHELL: “There’s got to be a better way of saying that.”

“Ogle me.” Cam, showing off his new suit

“Tipsy? You were like all of the Mad Men.” — Cam, to Mitchell

“Take as much time as you need – it’s your house. I just live here now.” — Dylan, to new housemates Cam and Mitchell

“I made you some soups.” — Dylan

CAM: “So, I guess in a way, we’re both responsible.”
MITCHELL: “Yeah, but in the real way, you’re responsible.”

Do you have any favorites that we missed?  Let us know in the comments!

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