It’s the last Modern Family before Christmas.  So of course, it’s baseball-themed.  We don’t get it either, but we also have (at last count) zero Emmys to our name.  We’ll just have to trust the experts on this one.  And since we’re still reeling from the introduction of Farmbo, let’s just get to the best quotes from Modern Family “Diamond in the Rough”.

“There’s something about going to work that makes you feel like you’re, I don’t know, worth something. No offense, Mom.” — Haley

“You know, back on the farm I once turned an acre of corn into a snowflake-shaped maze. Still be there if our neighbor, Billy Bob Scheinberg, hadn’t seen it from a crop duster and said it looked like a swastika.” — Cam

CAM: “So, how good is Luke’s team anyway?”
CLAIRE: “Well you may have seen them on YouTube under ‘Boy Stuck in Batting Helmet’ or ‘Pitcher Beans Self’.”

“Get used to that. Sometimes you just gotta let him go. Then he eats some sherbet and falls asleep.” – Manny, to Gloria’s unborn baby on the subject of Jay

“I had a perfect record – 22 games and I hadn’t played a single inning. Then the McCoy twins’ grandmother dies, and suddenly I’m starting at right field. What does that even mean? Is it the same as stage right?” — Manny

“Some men are born into greatness; others have it chucked at their face.” — Luke

CAM: “I’m going to be the designer, because I know about colors and shapes.”
MITCHELL: “So does Lilly….”

“Gil Thorpe has decades of experience and infallible instincts. As much as we’d all like to believe otherwise, I did not marry Gil Thorpe. (laughs) Can you imagine that? God, we’d sell a lot of houses.” — Phil

“The thought of that poor little thing, stuck in there like a hostage..” — Jay, on the baby having to hear Gloria’s singing

CAM: “What did we learn from A League of Their Own?”
CLAIRE: “That there’s no crying in baseball.”
CAM: “No, that Madonna’s a lousy actress and so are you. What’s really going on?”

CLAIRE: “You became a part-time teacher in a public school for money?”
CAM: “I make more than you do. Well, before parking.”

“I know it’s underhanded, but that’s the way I throw.” — Mitchell, on making Phil the bad guy

“I was pretty ticked off that Mitchell doublecrossed my doublecross, and then stopped taking my calls. And so I sent him the following carefully worded text – ‘You suck’.” – Phil

“There’s a mustard stain from Reuben’s Reuben. That’s what happens when you put a narcissist in charge of snack day.” — Manny

“That’s the thing about marriage. You fall in love with this extraordinary person, and over time, they start to seem ordinary. (pause) I think it’s all the nagging.” — Phil

“I’m going to march out there and swing as hard as I can. And if every sports movie is correct, I’m going to smack that ball and everybody will chant my name as I run the bases. By the way, is it always counter-clockwise, or do I get to choose?” – Manny

Any more favorites?  Let us know in the comments!

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