Oh. You’re in trouble. Shields up!

In the first four minutes of “Nepenthe,” we get that stupid “three weeks ago” thing that has been a hallmark/hamstring of Chabon’s revolutionary sequential storytelling but are just flashbacks. They’re flashbacks, man. Stop saying that’s a “narrative trick” to poop on linear narrative. Flashbacks have been a literary thing for thousands of years. Your audience knows what you’re doing; it needs an explanation.

You know what else happened in those four minutes? The racistly-named Commodore Oh then interrogated a suspect without legal representation, and then mind-raped the suspect with a non-consensual mind-meld that resulted in the suspect physically barfing at the violation.

This is what Kurtzman and Chabon think of Star Trek, now, ladies and gentlemen. Between this and Star Trek: Discovery advocating pedophilia with Lorca’s “grooming” of Burnham, I don’t even know what I’m watching, anymore. It’s not Star Trek. But let’s not think too much about this, since we paid for CBSAA again and we get to see Riker and Troi, and they have a cute kid who is sad about her brother’s death from a rare disease that could’ve been cured if Data was alive and brick oven pizza and the writers think going out on an act break to commercial is best-served by Riker announcing “Dinner is served.”

Chabon needs to stop giving interviews, because this week he announced he doesn’t understand what stardates do for the narrative, he doesn’t understand why fans watch so closely, and he, in fact, doesn’t even understand what makes adventure television. I literally do not understand why CBS hires writers who don’t understand adventure television to write what is arguably one of the top five adventure television shows ever. It beggars belief.

Anyway.

The decompressed storytelling of this show is a nightmare. A good writer could have condensed everything from the first seven episodes into two and given some us some Star Trek for the rest of it instead of some interminable 90210 remake in space. “I am still on active reserve. But there would have to be a very good reason…”

Yeah? How about saving this show, Riker?

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