“Don’t worry; I can fix this.”

OK, am I the only one sort of not being really invested in these last few episodes because of how clearly the end is being telegraphed? I just want to see the season (and possibly series) finale. So, yes, crazy Talbot, and yes, captured Daisy fulfilling the prophecy, and yes, Daisy and Yo-Yo have a fight in the middle of everything that makes no sense whatsoever, and yes, Fitz and Mack have a philosophical argument where neither one is strictly wrong, but at least it makes more sense than the Daisy/Yo-Yo fight, and yes, Zeke is still being a moon-eyed puppy dog about Daisy, and yes, I wrote “Daisy” three times in this run-on sentence when this show is called Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and not The Daisy Johnson Adventure Hour. I have never cared about that character and I never will. I mean, at least not in a show that has Phil Coulson in it.

So, yes, last week, Busey, Junior had the smallest of mentions about “that weirdness in New York” which was a throwaway line for those of us still paying attention that ABC is still making the smallest of nods to the fact that Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. takes place in the current MCU continuity. Then, this week, the Kree House of Kasius guy says that Thanos is attacking Earth or headed this way or something I really didn’t catch because I was thinking this is the slowest destruction-of-half-the-universe, ever. Didn’t Infinity War take place across a day or so? So four episodes of S.H.I.E.L.D. take place across the same 24 hours?

Me, I think this is fantastic. Obviously, the last shot of the last episode is half the S.H.I.E.L.D. team getting CG-squeegee’d by Thanos’ snap of his fingers. That’d be a gut-punch if the show ended there, but super-satisfying, and who knows? Maybe they all show up in Infinity War 2 when reality returns to its new configuration and we can all shut up about the Avengers not knowing Phil has been alive for all this time and they just didn’t know it.

But what if ABC renews the show for a sixth season? One of the dings against it this whole time is that it was an expensive show to produce and only got average to above average ratings, but Disney thought it was a good enough thing to underscore the Marvel universe on family-friendly ABC each week. But guess what? Half your cast is gone. You’re saving half of your sixth season payroll and bonuses right there. Say that leaves us with Coulson, Simmons, Mack, and Deke, for maximum internal conflict. Then do the show everyone wanted after Winter Soldier: Coulson and his team united again with a legitimacy given by the World Security Council, traveling the easier-to-get-around-on Earth, looking for pocket teams of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. Dang, they could even air the Marvel’s Most Wanted rejected pilot as a full episode, saving money, there. And who doesn’t want to see what is happening on Earth the whole time before the Avengers put it back together… on May 3rd, 2019, the opening day of Infinity War 2 and dovetailing ust so with the end of the mooted Season Six. Saving money, making sense. I’m here for you, Disney/Marvel/ABC. I’m here for you.

“Couldn’t you just find a fun game on your phone, instead?”

But this episode had its fun with us. Talbot in a van Dyke and flowing robes, finally looking like some Seventies Sal Buscema drawing of Graviton; that was just the best. Even Coulson had to admit he looked pretty cool. Talbot saying, “It’s time you met Earth’s Mightiest Hero: me.” and claiming he had the power to defeat Thanos is kind of hilarious and proof that Talbot hasn’t seen Infinity War yet. Coulson saying, “Thing is, Hydra doesn’t really speak for humanity” and the dual crushing of her in a spurt of floating gravity gristle while the Condeferacy guy’s brain was being picked apart by Simmons while Daisy threw her mom’s bones on the floor was really making use of the nine o’clock Friday spot.

…and who didn’t love that bed of lemons?

 

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