“I have taken bold action. Embrace me.”

I have never liked FitzSimmons much, because their macro journey was obvious and instilled in the pilot. Sure, the details of the thing weren’t exactly spelled out, because how can they be? But the broad strokes were there. Your classmates refer to you as a single unit, because they know you are an effective team even if you two don’t know it yet. Satisfying only to soap opera fans, of which I certainly do not count myself amongst that number. Except, you know, for those glorious General Hospital days when I was in college when Luke-and-Laura were joined by some Australian James Bond guy named Scorpio who teamed up to fight Commander Kor’s weather control machine with Demi Moore and Elizabeth Taylor.

Seriously, everybody thinks they have it made now with twenty-two MCU flicks but try being in college and being a soap opera expert because the sophomore’s favorite show is basically a low-rent X-Men. You people think the glory days are now.

Anyway, so even though now, in my dotage, I don’t dig on this incessant sequential storytelling thing, and I can’t root for FitzSimmons as star-crossed lovers because anybody with half a brain knows how it’s going to end up… I actually liked this episode. A monolith, and a light panel floor, and hotel furniture, and one of the protagonists showing up at different ages? Looks like somebody was watching a little too much 2001: A Space Odyssey. Me, too, brother. Me, too.

“Did you think you could play in the shadows without me?”

I’m not soulless, even if I think this FitzSimmons thing (not will-they-or-won’t-they but why-haven’t-they-already) is for children, old women, and shut-ins. Giving us this episode isn’t out-of-nowhere, exactly as it is over-due. Using Jemma as Basil Exposition to Alt-Fitz to explain not-dead but still married to him is the weird-ass stuff I like in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and I’d wish they’d do more of, just not couched in kissy-face. But, and I have to be honest with you, here, Gentle Reader, if you absolutely, positively have to have one of these shipping episodes, at least make it like this one, with pathos and joy and derring-do and comedy jokes.

“You have some deep, deep issues.”



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