“Bella’s no girl, mom.  She’s recently blossomed, like a purple lilac in April.”–Manny re: his latest lady love

“What do you mean she blossom, like the poo-berty?”–Gloria

“Which is apparently Spanish for big hair and yelling”–Jay, on the title of Gloria’s favorite telanovela, which is actually called “Fire & Ice”

“I’m just sayin’.  The guy’s a judge, he could put a shirt on.”–Jay, on the show’s main character

“I asked you guys for a fun night out.  I need music and dancing and second hand smoke!”–Claire, to Mitchell and Phil

“I’m not gay, I’m French.” –Julian (guest star Gilles Marini)

“I get one night to myself, and I wanted to spend it with some fun gay people!”–Claire

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