The nurse stole her grandmother’s almonds! – Cam, misunderstanding an argument in Spanish

We’re both thinking it, so I’m just going to say it. Lily’s dance is not up to the standards of what we just saw. – Manny

I first had your aunt Claire, then your dad came along and I loved them just the same. No matter what he tells you. – Jay, to Lily

PHIL: Guess what, suddenly you’re 60 years old, wandering toothless and alone in a post-apocalyptic wasteland! HALEY: Wait a second, how did Dylan get the nuclear codes again? PHIL: During the robot wars!

PHIL: It’s the tuxedo I got married in, so it’s double breasted. DYLAN: So am I

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