ALEX: I’ve never had a teacher not like me before. PHIL: Well, Miss Davis… ALEX: Please. She’s a gym teacher. She is to teaching what Dr. Seuss is to medicine. CLAIRE: And to think she didn’t like you…

I’m getting a medal at school because I put out a fire. Maybe that’s what I should be when I grow up… a professional medal-getter. — Luke

I don’t understand – they named you after a sandwich? — Gloria, seeing the “Jay Pritchett” sandwich on a menu.

GLORIA: Turkey, bacon, swiss cheese, red peppers, anchovies on wheat? JAY: Most people stop after salty bacon, but I doubled down with anchovies. GLORIA: Were you making a sandwich or attracting deer?

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2 Responses to The Best Lines from Last Night’s Modern Family – “Tableau Vivant”

  1. Nosgoth1979 says:

    You know a show has great writing when you can read quotes like this (without context or performance) and still bust-up laughing. I didn’t actually watch this episode when it aired. In fact, I haven’t been watching very many of my shows at all as they air since a coworker here at Dish told me about this new feature on the Hopper called Auto Hop. It gives me the option to watch the show with the commercials automatically skipped over. I love it because I’m able to just relax and watch the show without the big interruptions, or having to continually smash the Skip Forward button on my remote. Thanks for these quotes though, they gave me a couple of good laughs.

  2. Phillip Strand says:

    I don’t understand why CBS, FOX, & NBC execs don’t want us to enjoy commercial-free TV. I’m a DISH employee – AutoHop is great because you can easily watch commercial-free TV. Public Knowledge, a consumer advocacy group, is taking a stand for consumers by creating a petition that tells CBS, FOX, & NBC media to keep their hands out of your living room & DVR. Sign their petition to keep control of how you watch TV http://bit.ly/KFdn1Q

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