After a break last week, we got two new episodes of Modern Family this week. And they both had really sweet tearjearker endings. We are not made of stone, people! We got guest appearances from Michaela Watkins and Wendi McClendon-Covey, and we wouldn’t mind seeing them in the regular rotation. And in a bit that’s not really quotable, Cam and Mitch hilariously demonstrated Venn Diagrams. Lily started kindergarten, Haley went to college, Gloria sized up to maternity clothes (Does anybody think the bit with her outfit tearing was inspired by Sofia Vergara’s real life Emmy incident?), and Phil went in for a vasectomy. And we’ve got the best quotes from last night’s Modern Family all in one place for you. Though really, every single line from “Phil’s-osophy” has a place here. Trust us, a collection of Phil’s wisdom is just as awesome as it sounds.