Modern Family was back this week, with stories about home improvement and parent/child bonding gone awry.  Phil tried to teach his girls how to take care of things around the house without calling “a guy” (in his case, that was his dad, played by Fred Willard via skype); Cam and Claire worked on flipping their house with an assist from Pam, the lesbian mom of one of Lily’s friends, who really took a liking to Claire, and agreed with her that the place did not need a backyard water feature.  Jay was having a father/son day with adorable baby Joe while Gloria was trying to avoid a four hour Moby Dick movie with Manny.  And then there was Mitchell, exercising all the demons of his own childhood bullies by taking on Lily’s playground rival to everyone’s horror.  Just a typical day with this group we’ve come to know and love!

“That’s when it hit me.  My daughters know nothing about home care and maintenance.  I don’t want them to be dependent.  It’s up to me to show them what a modern, self-sufficient woman looks like.”–Phil

“But it’s a sport!”–Lily, about Mitchell swearing he’s good at handball

CAM: “Imagine this entire back wall cascading into a reservoir that erupts into flames on the quarter hour, how does that sound?”

CLAIRE: “Like we need a white tiger.”

PHIL: (walking up to the water heater) “Let’s start with this baby right here.  What are we looking at?”

HALEY: “Photosynthesis.”

“That was the least fun I have ever had shopping ever!”–Haley, returning from a trip to a hardware store to buy a screwdriver that Phil didn’t really even need.

“My kids are helpless, but maybe that’s OK.  Because years from now, when they have their own houses, they’ll call me on their hologram phones and say help me dad you’re my only hope!  And I’ll be the happiest father in sector 7.  Or sector 12 if we’re doing really well.”–Phil

MITCHELL: “Cam’s gonna be doing drop offs for a while.”

LILY: “We got a letter.”

“Never close your eyes on the court!  Don’t let me get in your head!”–Luke, teaching his Uncle Mitchell how to play handball with some tough love

Did we get all the best quotes or miss one of your faves?  Sound off in the comment below!


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