Hey, folks!  We’ve got the best TV Quotes of the Week, and like the last couple of installments, a reminder that this feature’s usual Friday buddy, the Best TV Shows on TV, will be available on Monday.  We’re getting to the end of a punishing recap schedule and should be back on track shortly.  There is actually too much TV, and that’s not something we ever thought we’d say.

“Space: The final frontier.  Final because it’s trying to kill us.  Sometimes we forget that.” — The Doctor, Doctor Who


NARDOLE:  “I was given strict instructions to keep you at the university.”

THE DOCTOR:  “By who?”

NARDOLE:  “You!”

THE DOCTOR:  “Well, you’re not doing a very good job.  I’ll overlook it this once.” — Doctor Who


BILL:  “What if you’re wrong?”

THE DOCTOR:  “Then we’ll be horribly murdered.  Let’s say I’m right.” — Doctor Who


“I’ve got no TARDIS, I’ve got no sonic.  I’ve got ten minutes of oxygen left and now I’m blind.  Can you imagine how unbelievable it’ll be when I pull this off?” — The Doctor, Doctor Who


“I was married to Kevin for fifteen years.  He used to look through all of our cupboards before he found the wine glasses.  He has a tattoo that’s misspelled.  And he sh*ts four times a day.  So I refuse to believe, Matt, that he’s the g*ddamn second coming of Christ.” — Laurie, The Leftovers


GORDON:  “Guess I shouldn’t be surprised you’re still alive.”

PENGUIN:  “I am quite hard to kill.” — Gotham


“At the risk of another meat slap, you’re kind of an assh*le.” — Len Trexler to Archer, Archer


TREXLER:  “What was that?”

ARCHER:  “Sounds like somebody’s smashing up all your sh*t.  With a halberd.”

TREXLER:  “Man, can’t have anything nice.”

ARCHER:  “That halberd was pretty nice.” — Archer


“I didn’t think it was possible, but somehow being kidnapped is even more boring than my mother’s funeral.” — Charlotte, Archer


“You’ve made me the happiest woman in the world.  Now let’s go make a sex tape.” — Nikki responding to Ray’s proposal, Fargo


“The enemies are at the gates!  Inside the gates!  Fornicating with our cookware!” — Sy, Fargo


“You don’t have to like the truth for it to be true.” — Gloria, Fargo


“If it doesn’t happen in LA, it’s none of our business.  We don’t even know if serial killing is illegal in New York.” — Lieutenant Atkins refusing to let Angie follow a lead out of state, Angie Tribeca


“The guy at the station said he’s never seen so many star wipes in a row.  It’s never been done.” — Jimmy on his local commercial, Better Call Saul


LAVERNE:  “That was his first slide rule.  He carried it with him all over preschool.”

HOLT:  “And then I learned to do trigonometric functions in my head.  Like a big boy.” — Brooklyn Nine-Nine


HOLT:  “The odds of that happening coincidentally are vanishingly small.”

LAVERNE:  “I would say infinitesimally.”

JAKE:  “And I would say teenily-weenily.  We all know words.” — Brooklyn Nine-Nine


Any more to add?  Let us know in the comments!


Share Button

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *