Hey, you know how we definitely have a collection of the Best TV Quotes of the Week every week?  Like every week?  And we definitely don’t miss a week?  OK, fine.  We skipped a few of these, but now we’re back on schedule   For now.  Who among us can say what the future brings?


SEBASTIAN:  “Looks like you guys could stand a little vacation yourself.  Look how tired Tim looks.”

TIM:  “Oh, uh, that’s just the shape of my face, sir… how my skull is.” — Detroiters


“I am considering the names Ralph, Alejandro, and Salim.  I am also oddly attracted to the word ‘radiator’, although I understand this is not considered a name.” — Ten, Humans


“If I wanted to kill you all, I wouldn’t have rung the doorbell.” — Niska, Humans


“To think he threw it all away for a boring desk job.” — Chip on Ronald Reagan’s movie career, Baskets


“I’m a hitchhiker.  Not a male prostitute.  FYI.” — Chip to a trucker, Baskets


“You are much less freaked out after a little wine.  We should take you to a vineyard if Craig turns up dead.” — Zorn to Edie, Son of Zorn


“My son is playing in his first football game.  You bet your ass I’ll probably be there!” — Zorn, Son of Zorn


“There are too many awards shows.  People don’t deserve so many awards.  People suck.  They should just be happy to be alive.” — Homer Simpson, The Simpsons


“I’d like you to remember you’re watching Channel 6, the channel that doesn’t cut away when somebody dies.” — Kent Brockman, The Simpsons


DENNIS:  “Who do girls want to have sex with more than anybody else?”

CHARLIE:  “Jugglers.  Dudes who can… juggle.”

DENNIS:  “I know what a juggler is.” — It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia


EMILY:  “I’m sure you look at me and think ‘she probably has a million friends’.”

JACKIE:  “No.  Not once.  Not ever.  I never thought that.” — Powerless


“You’re on the very short list of things that upset me.  It’s you and the shockingly high price of shark ownership.” — Ron to Emily, Powerless


“Women like any kind of dancing, Bob. It demonstrates your virility.  And your sexual style.” — Teddy, Bob’s Burgers


“Of all the days to get diarrhea of the butt….” – Tina, Bob’s Burgers


“I don’t know what you’re saying, but it makes me feel like I felt that time I sat on the dryer.” — Gene to the lunch lady, Bob’s Burgers

Any more to add?  Let us know in the comments!

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One Response to The Best TV Quotes of the Week – Humans, The Simpsons, and More! (Feb 17)

  1. cub says:

    humans rules– westworld is hot garbage!

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