It was a tough week over here, what with saying goodbye to Mad Men and David Letterman and all.  So we’re turning to TV quotes to ease the pain.

“You know you don’t have to creep around to be weird, right?  You’re weird at picnics!” — Starburns to Todd, Community

 

“Desperate deans call for deansperate measures.” — Dean Pelton, Community

 

KOOGLER:  “These are Green Meanies.  They explode on contact and mark your target…. with paint.”

ABED:  “That’s a description of every paintball.”

KOOGLER:  “So you know your stuff…” — Community

 

MEREDITH:  “I hope he’s in a better place.”

ROGER:  “He’s not dead!  Stop saying that!”

MEREDITH:  “There are a lot of better places than here.” — Mad Men

 

“Someday people are going to brag that they worked with you.” — Pete Campbell to Peggy, Mad Men

 

“I met her through Megan Draper.  She’s old enough to be her mother.  Actually, she is her mother.” — Roger Sterling on his new girlfriend, Mad Men

 

JOAN: “Greg had twins with some nurse.  As far as he’s concerned, Kevin never happened.”

ROGER: “So he knows?”  (that Kevin isn’t his child)

JOAN: “No, he’s just a terrible person.”–Roger and Joan, discussing what her ex-husband might think of Roger leaving half his fortune to his biological son on Mad Men

 

“Let’s go home, live our lives the best we can.  I mean, we’re poor but we’re happy.” — Bob,

Bob’s Burgers

 

“When I’m famous, I’ll have a handler whose only job is to keep people like Mom away from me.  And Mom too, maybe.” — Gene, Bob’s Burgers

 

“Let’s try the quad at the community college.  There’s two things those honkies love – foreign films and fliers telling ‘em where other honkies will be.” — Gene, Bob’s Burgers

 

BOB:  “Be careful, TIna.”

TINA:  “I was born careful.  Remember?  You were there.” — Bob’s Burgers

 

“How do you appreciate a thing and Google it at the same time?  That’s no way to live a life!” — Louie, Louie

 

“Two large pies.  One cheese and one half-cheese and half…. cheese.” — Louie ordering pizza, Louie

 

“For the last time on a television program, thank you and good night.” — David Letterman signing off, The Late Show

 

JARED:  “Monica, I’d like to introduce you to Carla.  Carla, Monica.  Monica, Carla.”

MONICA:  “Nice to meet you.”

JARED:  “I knew you two would hit it off.” — Silicon Valley

 

“You look like a ferret who gave up on himself six months ago.” — Erlich to Gilfoyle, Silicon Valley

 

“Madeline’s no invincible succubus.  She’s a regular succubus and she can be defeated.” — Holt, Brooklyn Nine-Nine

 

“You sneak in and get the letter while I distract the file clerk.  Apparently he’s really into birdwatching, so talking to a woman should blow his mind.” — Gina to Terry, Brooklyn Nine-Nine

 

“We’re friends!  I was building up to call you RoRo one of these days!” — Boyle to Diaz, Brooklyn Nine-Nine

 

“Well, like I always say: Who gives a sh*t?” — Reggie Watts, Comedy Bang! Bang!

 

“As the star of Masters of Sex, do you ever worry that you’ll get too good at boning?” — Scott Aukerman to Martin Sheen, Comedy Bang! Bang!

 

“A sperm bank?  With my credit score?” — Valerie Flame, Childrens Hospital

 

Any more to add?  Let us know in the comments!

 

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