We’ve got a lot of TV quotes for you.  It’s a veritable smorgasbord for your eyes!  And then try to imagine people saying those lines and your ears can enjoy it to.  We don’t know what to do for your other senses, but maybe eat a sandwich while you read.  That should get a couple of bonus senses in there.


“You’re not the first person to have dirty dishes, CD-ROM porn, and framed pictures of yourself with two biracial teenagers in a park.” — Dean Pelton to Elroy, Community


“I got nothing but fingers and time, pal.” — Frankie to the operator who put her on hold, Community


“We got Britta’d. Yes, I use it too.” — Britta, Community


“I’m jealous of your ability to be sentimental about the past.  I’m not able to do that.  I remember things as they were.” — Trudy to Pete, Mad Men


“You know what a hundred dollars buys you in Wichita?  A two-bedroom house.” — Duck Phillips, Mad Men


“I’ve learned to believe people when they tell you it’s over.  They don’t want to say it, so it’s usually the truth.” — Betty Draper, Mad Men


LOUIE:  “That’s stealing!  You can’t go on stage and do somebody else’s bit.”

GLASER:  “I know.  It’s your bit and it’s like now I’m doing it.  It’s so funny!” — Louie


“You look tired.  Very ugly, also.  Stupid, unfunny…. What’s wrong, stupid?” — Todd Barry to Louis C.K., Louie


“I was born on the dumb side of the tracks.” — Scott Aukerman, Comedy Bang! Bang!


“We’ve already checked every dinosaur park in town, and there aren’t any!” — Bill Ritz, Comedy Bang! Bang!


“If I give everyone what they deserve, I’ll have no one left to rule.” — Daenerys, Game of Thrones


“I am a person who drinks.  People who drink need to keep drinking.” — Tyrion, Game of Thrones


“That’s quite a view.  I mean, I know it’s the same ocean near our house, but this one’s better.” — Bob, Bob’s Burgers


BOB:  “Teddy is probably a good match for someone nice and lonely.  Or anyone.  Teddy should date anyone that likes him, basically.”

LINDA:  “Anyone except someone who’s gonna murder him!”

BOB:  “Maybe… even, that’s OK for Teddy.” — Bob’s Burgers


“He’s the only action star who was literally too expendable for The Expendables.” — John Oliver on Steven Seagal, Last Week Tonight


“I went to a magnet school where I was voted ‘Most Likely to Be Friend with a School Administrator’.” — Amy Santiago, Brooklyn Nine-Nine


“That money’s like twenty-five years old.  It’s probably not even good anymore.” — Jake Peralta, Brooklyn Nine-Nine


“When Bill Gates got married, on Lanai, he rented every helicopter on the Hawaiian islands so that paparazzi couldn’t use them to fly over.  In that case, it was a positive because now you can imagine the wedding however you want.” — Jared, Silicon Valley


RICHARD:  “It’s just sweat.”

JARED:  “Do you think maybe you sweat…. through your urethra?” — Silicon Valley


“Neighborly?  First off, that’s not a word.” — Erlich, Silicon Valley
Any more to add?  Let us know in the comments!


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