It’s Friday, which means it’s time for our collection of the week’s best TV quotes! Sometimes our introduction is short. This is one of those times.
EMMA: “Why the fancy duds, Don Draper?”
ZACH: “I think of myself more as a male Joan.” — Playing House
“Is there somebody in here? Sir? You will not violate me! I will go full Thelma and Louise on your ass! I will shoot you in the penis, sir!” — Emma panicking in a storage garage, Playing House
“Bunch of porn. Just… porn for women. Story-driven porn.” — Maggie covering up for her online activities, Playing House
“I’m not goin’ anywhere until I finish my Schlitz!”–Maggie as her male alter ego, a trucker named Bosephus, Playing House
“Poor Bert. I should have realized it was the end. Every time an old man starts talking about Napoleon, you know they’re going to die.” — Roger Sterling, Mad Men
“I have to talk to people who just touched the face of God about hamburgers!” — Peggy Olson, Mad Men
“Speaking of these lights, they certainly are on, aren’t they?” — Scott Aukerman just before the lights went out, Comedy Bang! Bang!
“My show is very different from the Transylvanian Office. For example, my boss is Michael Scott. Instead of a spider.” — Jenna Fischer, Comedy Bang! Bang!
“Ladies and gentlemen! Please welcome two horses that are gonna punch to the death!” — Smith Calvins, Comedy Bang! Bang!
MALVO: “Two hombres took a run at me in Duluth.”
MALVO: “That’s the wrong part of the sentence to be focusing on.” — Fargo
“Reality doesn’t go away because you stop believing in it. It’s stubborn like that.” — Kade Prurnell, Hannibal
“When the fox hears the rabbit scream, he comes running. But not to help. When you hear Jack scream, why will you come running?” — Hannibal Lecter to Will, Hannibal
“Their father? Who’s that? Where’s he at? Oh, that’s right. He’s right here inside my face.” — Louis C.K., Louie
“You’re funny to some people. Just not me.” — Janet to Louie, Louie
“In Hungary, we have a saying: ‘If you didn’t screw the cow, she’s not your cow’.” — Evanka, Louie
“A small bird died today, due to sadness. He was six years old.” — Newscaster, Louie
Any more to add? Let us know in the comments!