The new fall season is officially here and there are so many premieres to keep track of. I’ve compiled a list of this week’s premieres, both season and series. Hopefully this gets you through what I call Rush Week, as we all pledge the fraternity of TV together.
Monday, September 23
10:00 The Good Doctor – Look, I’ve said it every year, but I don’t like things where they treat autism as a super power. So instead, let me complain about the recent-ish The Predator, which had the Predators attempting to weaponize autism, a condition which for purposes of the movie involves being scared of loud noises only in Act 1 and also not responding immediately the first time you share dialogue with another character. Man, that movie was a turd.
8:00 The Neighborhood – Do you think Schmidt from New Girl is sad that he’s doing another sitcom but Nick got to be Spider-Man? Or is he happy for his friend. I hope the second one.
8:30 Bob (Heart) Abishola – Putting aside my issue with the title (I don’t like the heart symbol and there should also be an “s” at the end), this sitcom looks cute and it has a minor Welcome Back, Kotter supporting actress in the cast.
9:00 All Rise – Otherwise known as “Legal Drama – The Series”. I’ve seen one million ads for this show and I’m still not sure what the hook is. But somebody definitely barfs in the trailer, which is a bold move.
10:00 Bull – The one show where you don’t have to wonder if the lead actor is sexually harassing the guest cast because he absolutely is.
8:00 9-1-1 – There is a spinoff of this series coming later in the season, and also I learned that podcaster Bryan Safi is sometimes on this show. Those are facts I know.
9:00 Prodigal Son – As much as I love Michael Sheen, I don’t love murder shows and the premise that this cop is really good at catching serial killers because his father is a serial killer is ridiculous.
8:00 The Voice – Remember that one season when Skinny Brian Posehn made it to the finals? That’s all I know about this show.
10:00 Bluff City Law – Another Monday legal drama! This one is about a father-daughter legal team and the father is Jimmy Smits. And thanks to some revolutionary CGI the daughter is also Jimmy Smits.
Tuesday, September 24
8:00 The Conners – I feel like Roseanne Tweeted about this show being cancelled the day it was renewed, but I might be remembering that incorrectly. There are so many premieres this week and I don’t have time to check.
8:30 Bless this Mess – The charming series with Lake Bell and Dax Shepard is back after ABC burned off the first season. Surprises abound!
9:00 mixed-ish – This spinoff focuses on Bow’s childhood, both in being a mixed kid in a school that isn’t and returning to society after growing up in a cult.
9:30 black-ish – For some reason, this is airing after the spinoff instead of using the established show as a lead-in. My guess is that it’s very important to somebody that the shows air in chronological order and that appeals to me.
10:00 Emergence – It’s an ABC show about weird happenings in the wake of a plane crash, which they keep trying to make happen. They might as well call all of them New LOST. But this one has a great cast, so let’s give it a shot.
8:00 NCIS – CBS’s night of initials begins here!
9:00 FBI – Well, somebody’s the meat in an NCIS sandwich.
10:00 NCIS: New Orleans – And there’s your night of crime solving initials!
8:00 The Resident – I don’t remember what show this is!
9:00 Empire – You know what I can’t wait to see this season? I’m super invested in Jamal’s storyline, and I can’t wait to see where they go with him next!
9:00 This Is Us – Have they run out of key moments in their lives for flashbacks yet? They have not!
10:00 New Amsterdam – This sci-fi show about an alternate reality where middle-class people can get medical treatment without losing everything returns for a second season.
Wednesday, September 25
8:00 The Goldbergs – Have they used up the entire decade yet? Are we going to get episodes devoted to Visionaries or My Stepmother is an Alien? Actually, they could do a Batman ’89 episode but this is a Disney network…
8:30 Schooled – I really liked this show last season and I will watch more.
9:00 Modern Family – The final season begins here, maybe three years after it should have.
9:30 Single Parents – The big question for the season is how Will is handling the end of Gotham. If he’s like me, not well.
10:00 Stumptown – This is maybe the network show I’m most excited about – Cobie Smulders plays a private eye in a series based on the comic written by Greg Rucka. The trailer is really fun and I would like to watch it.
8:00 Survivor – This new season seems really steeped in Survivor history, which is my least favorite kind of season.
8:00 The Masked Singer – The second season of the unlikely hit begins here and this year, one of the singers is an egg. This is a weird show that I don’t like talking about because I wanted to boycott it because of a certain anti-vaxxer in the cast, but a friend of mine talked me into watching it. Now I’m hooked.
8:00 Chicago Med
9:00 Chicago Fire
10:00 Chicago P.D. – Man, that is a big block of very similar shows.
10:30 Crank Yankers – The puppet prank call show returns after 12 years because if there’s one thing the world needs now, it’s mean comedy directed at an innocent victim.
10:00 It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia – It’s the 14th season of the show I like that has become increasingly uneven. Which, you know, 14 years. The fact that most of them show up for work is amazing.
10:30 Cake – This is a new comedy anthology series that includes animated segments and I only know about from a series of inscrutable ads.
Thursday, September 26
8:00 Grey’s Anatomy – This show has been on a very long time and now that Shonda Rhimes has a Netflix deal, ABC will hang on to all her remaining shows like grim death.
9:00 A Million Little Things – Remember the first season trailer when there were two suicide attempt in ninety seconds? That was really weird.
10:00 How to Get Away with Murder – Either they’ve gotten away with it by now or they haven’t.
8:00 Young Sheldon – It’s the show that I sometimes see the last minute of before Big Brother. I look forward to seeing the last minute of it before The Unicorn.
8:30 The Unicorn – I wouldn’t have picked Walton Goggins for a comedy about a widower trying to get back into dating, but man, I’m glad somebody was thinking big. I love that guy!
9:00 Mom – It still seems crazy that Allison Janney is doing a network sitcom at this stage. I feel like she should be doing movies or prestige cable exclusively. It’s like how the Rock is still in Ballers.
9:30 Carol’s Second Act – Patricia Heaton returns to TV as a later-in-life med student. Fun fact, I used to really be irritated with her because of her politics and in 2019, they seem absolutely charming. (Please note – I do not know if she has said anything horrible lately.)
10:00 Evil – This looks like a religious X-Files with a very good cast. So good (Luke Cage! The Man in Black’s Daughter! Benry!), that I’m going to watch a CBS drama.
8:00 Superstore – Do you think the writers for this show are always trying to pitch a Mad Men homage with Jonah losing a nipple? I know that’s what I’d be trying to do.
8:30 Perfect Harmony – Bradley Whitford stars in this show about a choir. The trailer is funny and I’m a certified Whit-head.
9:00 The Good Place – My favorite show begins its fourth and final season. There will be tears.
9:30 Sunnyside – Hey, Kal Penn is back on TV! Remember when he had to leave House so he could work at the White House? I probably could have phrased that better and made a good “House” joke.
10:00 Law and Order: SUV – I think I read that Chris Meloni isn’t on this show anymore. Can anybody out there confirm?
Friday, September 27
8:00 American Housewife – A new season for the charming comedy, but I’m not sure if it was a Friday show last year. That seems like a demotion.
8:30 Fresh Off the Boat – Let’s all watch Constance Wu just be mad about having to show up for work.
8:00 Hawaii Five-O – I’m genuinely shocked that they don’t also run MacGyver tonight for a full night of reboots.
9:00 Magnum P.I. – They should do the treading water episode for a new generation!
10:00 Blue Bloods – If you had offered me a thousand dollars to correctly guess whether this show was still on, I would not be walking away with a thousand dollars.
Transparent – The series ends with a one-episode season without star Jeffrey Tambor. And it’s a musical.
Saturday, September 28
11:30 Saturday Night Live – Woody Harrelson hosts the season premiere, but I’m most excited about the Phoebe Waller-Bridge episode. Also excited that the guy who is not funny and also racist isn’t joining the cast after all.
Sunday, September 29
9:00 Shark Tank – Another season, another chance for me to pitch my business to the Sharks!\
10:00 The Rookie – I consistently call this show Castle and that probably won’t change.
8:30 God Friended Me – Still the worst title in all of television.
9:30 NCIS: Los Angeles – Do you think this show is sad that it’s not on the same night as all of the other NCIS shows?
8:00 The Simpsons – I still enjoy this show after all these years and I worry that if and when it ends, it’s going to take all of network TV with it. It’s had 30 years to really dig some hooks into the infrastructure.
8:30 Bless the Harts – This animated series suffers from some pretty bad trailers, but so did King of the Hill. You think I’m not watching something produced by Lord and Miller?
9:00 Bob’s Burgers – Yay! More episodes! I love this show so much and it’s so consistent. You catch a late night episode on Adult Swim or just pick something at random on Hulu and it’s going to be a good one.
9:30 Family Guy – Hey, it’s the one time a year I mention this show!
That’s it for September. Look for the October premieres very soon!