The new fall season is officially here and there are so many premieres to keep track of. I’ve compiled a list of this week’s premieres, both season and series. Hopefully this gets you through what I call Rush Week, as we all pledge the fraternity of TV together.

 

Monday, September 23

ABC

10:00 The Good Doctor – Look, I’ve said it every year, but I don’t like things where they treat autism as a super power. So instead, let me complain about the recent-ish The Predator, which had the Predators attempting to weaponize autism, a condition which for purposes of the movie involves being scared of loud noises only in Act 1 and also not responding immediately the first time you share dialogue with another character. Man, that movie was a turd.

CBS

8:00 The Neighborhood – Do you think Schmidt from New Girl is sad that he’s doing another sitcom but Nick got to be Spider-Man? Or is he happy for his friend. I hope the second one.

8:30 Bob (Heart) AbisholaPutting aside my issue with the title (I don’t like the heart symbol and there should also be an “s” at the end), this sitcom looks cute and it has a minor Welcome Back, Kotter supporting actress in the cast.

9:00 All RiseOtherwise known as “Legal Drama – The Series”. I’ve seen one million ads for this show and I’m still not sure what the hook is. But somebody definitely barfs in the trailer, which is a bold move.

10:00 Bull – The one show where you don’t have to wonder if the lead actor is sexually harassing the guest cast because he absolutely is.

FOX

8:00 9-1-1 – There is a spinoff of this series coming later in the season, and also I learned that podcaster Bryan Safi is sometimes on this show. Those are facts I know.

9:00 Prodigal Son – As much as I love Michael Sheen, I don’t love murder shows and the premise that this cop is really good at catching serial killers because his father is a serial killer is ridiculous.

NBC

8:00 The Voice – Remember that one season when Skinny Brian Posehn made it to the finals? That’s all I know about this show.

10:00 Bluff City LawAnother Monday legal drama! This one is about a father-daughter legal team and the father is Jimmy Smits. And thanks to some revolutionary CGI the daughter is also Jimmy Smits.

 

Tuesday, September 24

ABC

8:00 The Conners – I feel like Roseanne Tweeted about this show being cancelled the day it was renewed, but I might be remembering that incorrectly. There are so many premieres this week and I don’t have time to check.

8:30 Bless this Mess – The charming series with Lake Bell and Dax Shepard is back after ABC burned off the first season. Surprises abound!

9:00 mixed-ish – This spinoff focuses on Bow’s childhood, both in being a mixed kid in a school that isn’t and returning to society after growing up in a cult.

9:30 black-ish – For some reason, this is airing after the spinoff instead of using the established show as a lead-in. My guess is that it’s very important to somebody that the shows air in chronological order and that appeals to me.

10:00 Emergence – It’s an ABC show about weird happenings in the wake of a plane crash, which they keep trying to make happen. They might as well call all of them New LOST. But this one has a great cast, so let’s give it a shot.

CBS

8:00 NCIS – CBS’s night of initials begins here!

9:00 FBI – Well, somebody’s the meat in an NCIS sandwich.

10:00 NCIS: New OrleansAnd there’s your night of crime solving initials!

FOX

8:00 The Resident – I don’t remember what show this is!

9:00 Empire – You know what I can’t wait to see this season? I’m super invested in Jamal’s storyline, and I can’t wait to see where they go with him next!

NBC

9:00 This Is Us – Have they run out of key moments in their lives for flashbacks yet? They have not!

10:00 New AmsterdamThis sci-fi show about an alternate reality where middle-class people can get medical treatment without losing everything returns for a second season.

 

Wednesday, September 25

ABC

8:00 The Goldbergs – Have they used up the entire decade yet? Are we going to get episodes devoted to Visionaries or My Stepmother is an Alien? Actually, they could do a Batman ’89 episode but this is a Disney network…

8:30 Schooled – I really liked this show last season and I will watch more.

9:00 Modern Family – The final season begins here, maybe three years after it should have.

9:30 Single Parents – The big question for the season is how Will is handling the end of Gotham. If he’s like me, not well.

10:00 StumptownThis is maybe the network show I’m most excited about – Cobie Smulders plays a private eye in a series based on the comic written by Greg Rucka. The trailer is really fun and I would like to watch it.

CBS

8:00 Survivor – This new season seems really steeped in Survivor history, which is my least favorite kind of season.

FOX

8:00 The Masked Singer – The second season of the unlikely hit begins here and this year, one of the singers is an egg. This is a weird show that I don’t like talking about because I wanted to boycott it because of a certain anti-vaxxer in the cast, but a friend of mine talked me into watching it. Now I’m hooked.

NBC

8:00 Chicago Med

9:00 Chicago Fire

10:00 Chicago P.D. – Man, that is a big block of very similar shows.

COMEDY CENTRAL

10:30 Crank Yankers – The puppet prank call show returns after 12 years because if there’s one thing the world needs now, it’s mean comedy directed at an innocent victim.

FXX

10:00 It’s Always Sunny in PhiladelphiaIt’s the 14th season of the show I like that has become increasingly uneven. Which, you know, 14 years. The fact that most of them show up for work is amazing.

10:30 CakeThis is a new comedy anthology series that includes animated segments and I only know about from a series of inscrutable ads.

 

Thursday, September 26

ABC

8:00 Grey’s Anatomy – This show has been on a very long time and now that Shonda Rhimes has a Netflix deal, ABC will hang on to all her remaining shows like grim death.

9:00 A Million Little Things – Remember the first season trailer when there were two suicide attempt in ninety seconds? That was really weird.

10:00 How to Get Away with Murder – Either they’ve gotten away with it by now or they haven’t.

CBS

8:00 Young Sheldon – It’s the show that I sometimes see the last minute of before Big Brother. I look forward to seeing the last minute of it before The Unicorn.

8:30 The Unicorn – I wouldn’t have picked Walton Goggins for a comedy about a widower trying to get back into dating, but man, I’m glad somebody was thinking big. I love that guy!

9:00 Mom – It still seems crazy that Allison Janney is doing a network sitcom at this stage. I feel like she should be doing movies or prestige cable exclusively. It’s like how the Rock is still in Ballers.

9:30 Carol’s Second Act – Patricia Heaton returns to TV as a later-in-life med student. Fun fact, I used to really be irritated with her because of her politics and in 2019, they seem absolutely charming. (Please note – I do not know if she has said anything horrible lately.)

10:00 Evil – This looks like a religious X-Files with a very good cast. So good (Luke Cage! The Man in Black’s Daughter! Benry!), that I’m going to watch a CBS drama.

NBC

8:00 Superstore – Do you think the writers for this show are always trying to pitch a Mad Men homage with Jonah losing a nipple? I know that’s what I’d be trying to do.

8:30 Perfect Harmony – Bradley Whitford stars in this show about a choir. The trailer is funny and I’m a certified Whit-head.

9:00 The Good PlaceMy favorite show begins its fourth and final season. There will be tears.

9:30 Sunnyside – Hey, Kal Penn is back on TV! Remember when he had to leave House so he could work at the White House? I probably could have phrased that better and made a good “House” joke.

10:00 Law and Order: SUV – I think I read that Chris Meloni isn’t on this show anymore. Can anybody out there confirm?

 

Friday, September 27

ABC

8:00 American Housewife – A new season for the charming comedy, but I’m not sure if it was a Friday show last year. That seems like a demotion.

8:30 Fresh Off the Boat – Let’s all watch Constance Wu just be mad about having to show up for work.

CBS

8:00 Hawaii Five-O – I’m genuinely shocked that they don’t also run MacGyver tonight for a full night of reboots.

9:00 Magnum P.I. – They should do the treading water episode for a new generation!

10:00 Blue Bloods – If you had offered me a thousand dollars to correctly guess whether this show was still on, I would not be walking away with a thousand dollars.

AMAZON

Transparent – The series ends with a one-episode season without star Jeffrey Tambor. And it’s a musical.

 

Saturday, September 28

NBC

11:30 Saturday Night Live – Woody Harrelson hosts the season premiere, but I’m most excited about the Phoebe Waller-Bridge episode. Also excited that the guy who is not funny and also racist isn’t joining the cast after all.

 

Sunday, September 29

ABC

9:00 Shark Tank – Another season, another chance for me to pitch my business to the Sharks!\

10:00 The Rookie – I consistently call this show Castle and that probably won’t change.

CBS

8:30 God Friended Me – Still the worst title in all of television.

9:30 NCIS: Los AngelesDo you think this show is sad that it’s not on the same night as all of the other NCIS shows?

FOX

8:00 The Simpsons – I still enjoy this show after all these years and I worry that if and when it ends, it’s going to take all of network TV with it. It’s had 30 years to really dig some hooks into the infrastructure.

8:30 Bless the Harts – This animated series suffers from some pretty bad trailers, but so did King of the Hill. You think I’m not watching something produced by Lord and Miller?

9:00 Bob’s Burgers – Yay! More episodes! I love this show so much and it’s so consistent. You catch a late night episode on Adult Swim or just pick something at random on Hulu and it’s going to be a good one.

9:30 Family Guy – Hey, it’s the one time a year I mention this show!

 

That’s it for September. Look for the October premieres very soon!

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