Secret Shame: Stuff You Wish Shamed Me (Jun 19)
Written by Myndi Weinraub   
Thursday, 19 June 2008 11:00
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Casey's piece inspired me last week.  So, as of this moment, I am done being ashamed of the random, obscure and cheesy stuff that fills my Ipod (there's a picture of lil' Pinkie Tuscadero right there!)  I'm going to celebrate it right here for all of you to read.  I know that after reading, at least one of you may want to disavow any knowledge of my existence, and may delete me as a friend on Facebook, because a lot of this stuff is from way back in the 20th Century, but I'll just have to live with it.  I am embracing the far reaching musical tastes that make me a unique and fascinating human being!

The funniest thing is, when I tried to hit shuffle and see what wacky stuff came up, almost every selection was at least moderately to extremely cool--things like Elvis Costello, John Legend, Lenny Kravitz, XTC, Stevie Wonder, Fall Out Boy, Teddy Geiger, Indigo Girls (holy crap, is there a lot of Indigo Girls!)  So, see?  A lot of the 1024 songs currently in my mini are socially acceptable.  Ultimately, I thought it might be easier to just fess up and shove those musical skeletons out of the Ipod and get it over with.

ABBA Gold.  Thanks to the recent Mama Mia stage show (and upcoming movie), ABBA is pretty cool again.  But make no mistake, this is the purest form of pop candy you can get, as perfectly preserved as that polyester leisure suit in the back of dad's closet.  Songs like "Waterloo", "Fernando" and "Thank You for the Music" make me happy (I'm kind of over their biggest hit, "Dancing Queen").  You have to admit that these are some pretty catchy tunes, despite that fact that I don't think any f the four band members spoke fluent English.  That's pretty impressive to me.

The Carpenters.  She might have often looked like she was dressed in a tablecloth, but Karen Carpenter had a deep, strong, beautiful voice.  Her rendition of "Superstar" (covered by Sonic Youth in Juno) is haunting, and if you feel like wallowing, I don't know a better song than "Rainy Days and Mondays" to help you out. 

TV Theme Songs.  I have about 20 of these, primarily from the 70s and 80s, and they range from Chico and the Man and Silver Spoons, to  Eight is Enough and Growing Pains.  If anyone knows where I might find the theme to Valerie besides You Tube, please let me know.  You can't listen to an 80s TV theme song without feeling warm and fuzzy!  And sometimes, I need that.

 Soundtracks to A Chorus Line, Dreamgirls, Chicago and Hairspray.  I only wish I had an actual singing voice so I could be a musical theater geek.  I would have Rent in here too if I wasn't too cheap to buy it at the moment.  I love all of these shows, and much of the music is excellent, bordering on legendary...assuming you like musicals.

Donna Summer's Greatest Hits.  She is the Queen of Disco, and that makes her cool with me.  But "Love to Love You Baby" makes me a little uncomfortable.  You have to give her some credit, however, for making such catchy songs about hookers and parks.  These are not the easiest topics to write about and Donna did it.

Barry Manilow box set. This is four discs of Barry, and I am a proud Fanilow.  It may have a little something to do with the fact that the song "Mandy" is as close as I'll ever get to a song written to me.  Say what you will, this man can put on a show, and he is not only a singer, but a songwriter, composer and master arranger.  My favorite songs are "Could It Be Magic" which has incredibly suggestive lyrics for a man of such ambiguous sexual history, and "When October Goes", which is a song Barry crafted from an unfinished Johnny Mercer lyric he was given by Mercer's widow.  It is poetry, plain and simple.  I will grant you that much of this is as cheesy as it gets, but I am not ashamed.  Then again, I'm also not a member of the weird group of women who thinks he's actually singing to me at his shows.

 Debbie Gibson.  I was a teenage girl in the 80s after all.  Sure, this is bubblegum, but a song like "Lost in Your Eyes" or "Foolish Beat" is just a time capsule for a female in my age bracket.  And, you have to give Debbie (Deborah, whatever) credit for writing her own songs.  Let's see Ashlee Simpson-Wentz do that!

The "AM Gold" collection from Time Life Music.  You're damn right I bought this 10 CD set, which is a collection of soft rock from each year of the 1970s.  This is primarily driven by nostalgia, but "Baby Come Back" by Player and "How Much I Feel" by Ambrosia have surprisingly poignant lyrics.  Not to mention that "Midnight Train to Georgia" is in this collection and that is a classic.  Plus, it's fun having goofy crap like "Don't Give Up on Us" by David Soul and "Shadow Dancing" by Andy Gibb in there for when the moment strikes.  I am very fun at parties!

"Wanna Be" and "Say You'll Be There" by Spice Girls.  These are the only two Spice Girls songs I like.  I dare you to keep from at least tapping your foot to either of them. See?  You can't do it, can you?



Hall & Oates and Kenny Loggins.  I lump them together because I saw them in concert together a few years ago.  Somewhere along the way, Hall got kind of hot and Oates still looks creepy, while Kenny Loggins just got a little older, but looks about the same.  Again, these are guys who know how to craft soul music, jazz music and pop music while simultaneously rocking stellar facial hair.

Wham!.  Ya know, it's just kind of awesome and strange listening to George Michael sing "Edge of Heaven" now versus twenty years ago.  For example:  "I would lock you up/But I could not bear to hear you screaming to be set free/I would chain you up If I'd thought you'd swear The only one that mattered was me, me, me/I would strap you up/But don't worry baby/You know I wouldn't hurt you 'less you wanted me to". 
Wow.  Two completely different songs.

"C'est La Vie" by Robbie Nevil. This song helped me learn a little bit of French, which is always helpful.  I also like songs with random shouting; not sure why.

"The Pina Colada Song" by Rupert Holmes.  This song is utterly preposterous.  One of you takes out a personal ad, the other one answers it, then you both just laugh and say "Aw, it's you!" Oh, hell no!  It is cheestastic, and just makes me think of an episode of Three's Company, hence, the love.

"All Fired Up" by Pat Benetar is a great song for when I'm stuck in traffic.  I use it get all my rage out.  Then I listen to "Where You Goin' Now" by Damn Yankees to chill out. 

And I will sign off with "Goodbye" from Night Ranger, one of the two best 80s bands to have their drummer also be their lead singer.

This is the tip of the iceberg, people.  But I feel better for having gotten it off my chest.  Thanks for reading and now, commence with the laughing and pointing; I can take it!

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