We here at spunkybean don’t get free previews, or early scoops, or even acknowledgment from the entertainment industry. That’s why we were shocked to receive a press release from Menken Toys, announcing their new line of Mad Men action figures. Sure, a critically acclaimed drama set in the advertising business in the early 1960’s doesn’t seem like it would be ideal for a toy line, but we do love our merchandising.

Here’s an exclusive look at the first wave of Mad Men action figures – get those Christmas lists ready!

Note: All figures include a lighter, pack of cigarettes, and tumbler.

Don Draper – Everybody’s favorite ad man comes dressed in his best suit and removable hat. And thanks to voice chip technology, Don can dismiss and devastate any other action figure around with phrases including: “That’ll be all,” “There is no system. The universe is indifferent,” “I’m not going to let a woman speak to me like this,” “What you call love was invented by guys like me to sell nylons,” and “At a certain point, seduction is over and force is actually being requested.” And, of course, he includes his Box of Secrets, for hours of fun.

NOTE: Certain specialty retailers will also receive the Dick Whitman with Pants-Wetting Action variant.

Joan Holloway –The office manager with the most ample of assets, this is the only anatomically correct figure in the set.  She has a tube of lipstick and a full bar for entertaining the whole Sterling Cooper gang!  Bicurious roommate is available upon request.

Pete Campbell – Don’s archenemy comes with two interchangeable heads, one for each of his moods. In just a few seconds, you too can turn Pete from Smarmy to Impotent. He also includes his famous rifle and a cardboard box to empty his desk into.

Peggy Olson – Sterling-Cooper's newest copywriter features Expanding Action, so you can set your own adventures at any point in the season. She also includes the vibrating pants, and Velcro dress for easy tearing.

Roger Sterling – With Chunk-Blowing Action, so you can re-enact the famous “long lunch” scene. Accessories include a change of clothes (for when he spends the night in the city, of course), a plate of oysters, and an uneaten steak.

Betty Draper –Don's long-suffering wife has hands that spontaneously shake and feature slapping action.  Dress her up or down with either her darling nightgown, sensible pants, top and trench coat or beautiful replicas of dresses from her days as a high fashion model in Manhattan.

Salvatore Romano – The first action figure ever of an Art Director, Salvatore is dressed in a fine Italian suit, wingtips and wearing a gold pinkie ring.  He also comes with a picture of his mother and a nice big closet.

Bert Cooper – With a voice chip allowing him to say “Who cares?” and several in-scale copies of Atlas Shrugged, Bert’s ready to bring a healthy dose of Objectivism to any play scenario.

And as an incentive, if you purchase all eight figures you can send away for the exclusive Hobo and Young Dick Whitman two-pack. What Mad Men collection is complete without memorializing a turning point in Don Draper’s life? And of course, Dick plays a sound clip of his own: “Ain’t you heard? I’m a whore child.”

The Mad Men action figures are fun for the whole family!

NOTE: If sales are strong, we intend to extend our merchandising to AMC’s other original program, Breaking Bad. We personally believe that the Walter White Chemistry Set will be a big hit, combining education and entertainment

I have to say, this sounds pretty exciting. They didn’t provide us with any release dates, so we recommend that you call your local store every day and ask if the Mad Men action figures have arrived. Seriously. Every day. Persistence is the key.

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