If you were left reeling by all the season premieres last week, you’re going to want to brace yourself. October is less stuffed with pilots and returns, but there are still a lot of shows to watch for. I did my best to collect all the premiere dates and put them in one place for you. Maybe I care…. too much.

Wednesday, October 2

CBS

9:00 SEAL Team – This is the show David Boreanaz is on and I sort of remember heating a funny story about him, but I can’t remember any details. I’m very good at this!

10:00 S.W.A.T. – Did you know I own the S.W.A.T. movie on DVD? And despite having owned it since like 2005, it has never been removed from the plastic wrap. I make bad choices.

FOX

9:00 Almost Family – This new show comes from the creator of Friday Night Lights and it’s about a fertility doctor who fathered more than 100 children. Well, I guess it’s about three of those children. And I guess they’re now adults. Anyway, it looks kind of boring. However, the pilot is directed by Leslye Headland, who directed Sleeping with Other People. And if you want to see an Alison Brie movie (live-action because obviously otherwise it’s LEGO Movie), that should be your top pick. Good alternates: The Five-Year Engagement or No Stranger Than Love. Also, Kings of Summer and Disaster Artist are very good, but she’s not in them enough to call them Alison Brie movies. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

 

Friday, October 4

FOX

WWE Smackdown Live – One of the two WWE shows moves from USA to FOX. But the other one is still on USA, so I don’t know what’s going on.

NBC

8:00 The Blacklist – Do you often confuse this show with Blindside? I do! But Blindside is the one created by the guy who’s friends with comedians and casts people like John Hodgman and Matt Gourley on the show. This is the one that has James Spader. I don’t have a mnemonic device for that.

AMAZON

Goliath – It’s been so long since the last season of this Billy Bob Thornton show that I assumed it had been cancelled. But no, they only cancel the shows I love most like The Tick and Patriot.

NETFLIX

Big Mouth – The third season of the puberty cartoon I’m embarrassed to like as much as I do.

Peaky Blinders – It’s the show everybody tells me to watch and I haven’t gotten to yet. But everybody I know thinks it’s great and I’ll catch up one day.

 

Sunday, October 6

CBS

10:00 Madam Secretary – All shows about politics seem weird these days, right? Like, they’re all based on the idea that there are a bunch of adults in charge and it seems so quaint.

CW

8:00 Batwoman – The CW unveils a sixth show based on DC Comics superheroes. I like Batwoman a lot, but I have accepted that I don’t like these shows so I’m not going to get stung again.

9:00 Supergirl – If the CW doesn’t promote their Sunday night lineup with the phrase “World’s Finest”, then everybody over there should lose their jobs.

AMC

9:00 The Walking Dead – I think this is the season premiere and not the mid-season premiere, but don’t hold me to that. This is also set to be Michonne’s last season, and I liked it better when they didn’t announce major departures way ahead of time. But come on, she’s on Team Black Panther now. She’s got things to do!

USA

10:00 Mr. Robot – The final season is set over Christmas 2015 and that probably means there will be several references to my recap of the Star Wars Holiday Special. That’s what everybody was talking about, if I remember correctly.

ADULT SWIM

12:00 am Primal – Samurai Jack creator Genndy Tartakovsky brings us this wordless miniseries about a caveman bonding with a dinosaur. And yes, you could point out the obvious issue there or you could enjoy what is sure to be a gorgeous series.

 

Monday, October 7

CW

8:00 All-American – The high school football drama returns for a second season and is the only show currently on the CW that isn’t based on a licensed property and/or does not have a supernatural element.

9:00 Black Lighting – The only CW DC show I sometimes like! I don’t like the way that lightning can do everything, though. Jefferson can’t use his powers to lift somebody up!

 

Tuesday, October 8

CW

8:00 The Flash – I am still bitter that this show cemented Barry Allen as the current Flash and ensured that Wally West is going to be sidelined forever. And this led to Heroes in Crisis, which rendered him pretty much unusable and I almost Tweeted something mean about it but the choice of Wally was foisted on the creative team by editorial so they didn’t set out to ruin him but were specifically told to do it. Still, it hurts.

 

Wednesday, October 9

CW

8:00 Riverdale – The Archie show but with murders returns! I still think this show is an elaborate prank.

9:00 Nancy Drew – Yes, it’s a reboot of Nancy Drew but with blood and teen sex, which is the most CW thing imaginable. (Well, other than DC superheroes.)

 

Thursday, October 10

CW

8:00 Supernatural – The final season of the very long running show begins! It’s been on so long that it began on a network that doesn’t exist anymore. And that network? The DuMont Network.

9:00 Legacies – I don’t know anything about this Vampire Diaries spinoff and I resent that the last seven entries have all been CW dramas that I don’t watch. And I have two more before I get to write about something else!

 

Friday, October 11

CW

8:00 Charmed – The second season of the second version of this show! I wish they’d changed the title to reflect the reboot. My pitch is Charmed, I’m Sure.

9:00 Dynasty – This show’s ratings are so low it almost can’t register with Nielsen, also they had to do some recasting over the summer. Those are my facts about Dynasty.

NETFLIX

El Camino: A Breaking Bad MovieOrdinarily I wouldn’t list a movie in the premieres, but it’s a sequel to a television show and also I just wrote nine CW blurbs and I need something cool. Here’s where we see what happened to Jesse Pinkman after the finale! This will be good!

 

Monday, October 14

HULU

Letterkenny – I’ve been hearing a lot about this Canadian comedy lately, and I’m not familiar with it. But with Canada you might get Schitt’s Creek but you also might get Trailer Park Boys, so you’re rolling the dice.

 

Tuesday, October 15

CW

9:00 Arrow – The progenitor of the CW DC lineup begins its shortened final season.

USA

9:00 The Purge – I’ll be honest with you – the existence of this franchise bums me out. There’s something depressing about it and I feel like it’s too easy to use as a scapegoat when people want to blame entertainment for the country being bad.

10:00 Treadstone – Hey, it’s a TV series based on the Bourne franchise! This has the potential to be really fun. Or it could be people sitting at their desks waiting for somebody to report a Jason Bourne sighting.

 

 

Friday, October 18

NETFLIX

Living with YourselfThis series stars Paul Rudd as a guy who sets out to be a better person and then is literally replaced with a better version of himself. This is right up my alley. I mean, two Paul Rudds!

AMAZON

Modern LoveThis anthology is based on a New York Times column and every episode is a self-contained story about, well, modern love. Tina Fey is in one episode! So is Hot Priest!

 

Sunday, October 20

HBO

9:00 Watchmen – Damon Lindelof created this sequel to the classic Alan Moore / Dave Gibbons comic book that was adapted into a move that’s pretty good by Zack Snyder standards. But rather than hitting the old talking points, this brings that world into 2019 where Rorschach is a symbol of the alt-right and cops hide their faces behind yellow masks. It looks like a smart extrapolation of the comic that, by necessity, can’t cover the same ground. And after The Leftovers, Lindelof has my trust forever. I will probably be recapping this, so get ready for that!

 

Wednesday, October 23

HULU

Castle Rock – I wasn’t super into the first season, but Lizzy Caplan joins the cast as young Annie Wilkes this season and that’s a way to make any show better.

 

Friday, October 25

BoJack Horseman – The first half (eight episodes) of the sixth and final season comes out today. Those are two facts we didn’t have a week ago. And while I haven’t heard the official reason for ending the show, I tend to think it’s a creative decision. The journeys these characters are on have to reach resolution at some point, and I feel like they’re close. Also, this is going to be a sixteen-episode season, which is longer than any other, and that makes it feel deliberate. Yes, it was a big story when the animation studio unionized, and yes, Netflix has acknowledged that the maximum benefit to them comes from running a show for three seasons, but I don’t want to poke at either of those points.

 

Sunday, October 27

HBO

10:00 Silicon ValleyThe final season begins! Kumail Nanjiani got cast in a Marvel movie so he had to get all buff while they were shooting and now it looks like Dinesh can just tear Guilfoyle’s head off.

10:30 Mrs. Fletcher – From the other person behind The Leftovers, Tom Perrotta adapts his own novel into a series about a woman (Kathryn Hahn) living in an empty house for the first time when her son goes off to college. This should be good and Kathryn Hahn is always awesome.

There are probably more announcements to come, so keep an eye on our weekly schedule posts for additional premieres!

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