Lauren Alaina sang “I’m Evil” by Elvis Presley and miss Gaga really wanted to corrupt Lauren as well. Lauren will not be corrupted, and she will not be denied another week. She sang Elvis …on American Idol …and made it sound like Country music. And before she sang for flood and tornado victims. You tell me what happens next. Right? Am I right? Are you pickin’ up what I’m layin’ down? What’s more, she hit every big, huge note and she’s getting prettier and thinner every week. Excuse me while I go vote for her 78 times.

And finally, James Durbin did “Love Potion #9” and made it all rocky and “hard” …and ya know, this song is about ecstasy …the drug. Otherwise known as “e”. For you non-club going folks, that’s the drug that makes you dance to rave music in a diaper sucking on a pacifier and waving glow sticks, and I hear you’ll kiss and touch everything in site, but you won’t really want to have sex. My research on the subject includes a single article in Time magazine I sort of read in my dentist’s waiting room, and this one college buddy of mine. So, I’m saying …I know alllll about it. The judges loved James, but they love everyone except Haley. My biggest problem with James Durbin is that he wears tight jeans which make his thighs and hips look very feminine. He’d do better to lose 15 pounds or go with baggy jeans. Just sayin’. Lady Gaga danced with him. All in all, it was one of the better performances on last night’s Scotty & Lauren Variety Hour.

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