Previously on Big Brother: Paul handled his nominations very stupidly and almost ended up without a way to backdoor Cody. Luckily, his weird talent at competitions despite a complete lack of any noticeable skills kicked in and he won the Veto and put Cody up alongside Alex and self-nominated Ramses. Also, Cody, Jessica, and Baskets all have to wear frog costumes and hop around for a week. Also, they can only stand on lily pads, so they’ve clearly cranked this up from when Nicole had to wear the frog suit from Super Mario Bros. 3. And now… Live Eviction!
By the way, if you want to get some live feed dirt, check out the comments on previous recaps. HoH8, our Eye in the Sky, has shared some great stuff, including that Paul’s HoH letter wasn’t really from his mom and had a secret code. That’s crazy, right? Mostly because I imagine Paul’s friends wouldn’t be smart enough to come up with a code. Like, it would just be Pig Latin.
Julie is wearing a prom dress for some reason. And she lets us know that next week the evicted houseguests will have a chance to get back in the game, which a lot of people had been speculating.
We pick up after the Veto. Josh is doing his usual stream of nonsensical angry words. Jessica argues with him and I’m a little worried that they couldn’t afford a frog costume that covers her chest. Is CBS running out of money? Should we start a GoFundMe page for them? Later, Cody does his dumb “respect” thing to Paul and in the DR, refers to Paul as “the only other Alpha”, and I hate dudes who do that so much.
Christmas comes back, presumably after a doctor’s appointment, and calls everybody to the living room.
Hey? Do you think Baskets feels bad about his role in her injury? When I was maybe 6, I punched a little girl in the nose at church. I did not intend to punch her – we were running around like fools in the basement after the service. I think she thought we were playing tag and I was pretending to be Green Lantern. So when she ran at me, I thrust my fist out so I could shoot her with my power ring, and she ran into it. Point is, I feel terrible about that to this day. And for Baskets to spend all day, every day with Christmas and watch her have to crutch around in obvious pain… either he’s a monster or he gets sick to his stomach when he thinks about it.
She needs surgery and it’s up to her whether she leaves the game or recovers from surgery. If she stays, they won’t alter the game and she’s just not going to be able to do certain competitions. Of course she decides to stay and Cody, of course, just has a puss on. Then he DRs “She’s touting her own perseverance, but that’s not perseverance to me.” Actually, bud? It literally is basically the definition of perseverance. He actually just leaves and goes outside mid-announcement and he is the actual worst.
Jessica, because she’s not a sulky child who is bad at this game, tries to talk to Christmas and mend fences. Well, sort of. She leads by telling Christmas that she’s better than this mean girl role. So Jessica’s approach is “You shouldn’t suck as much as you do so let’s try and fix that.” Oh, man. This is so bad. Christmas tries to explain where they stand and Jessica keeps interrupting her and Christmas is finally like “Let’s just live in this house”.
Is it possible that I’ve already fallen out of love with Jessica? I’m usually much more shallow than that!
Julie announces that Christmas’ surgery was successful, but she’s not medically cleared to return to the house yet. She still gets to vote, though! When I broke my leg and had surgery, I spent the next two days talking to an imaginary Ed Asner and yelling at the Vietnamese boy who kept trying to take my pillow, so we’ll be lucky if Christmas votes for an actual nominee and not, say, pretzels.
It’s Dominique’s birthday and Jessica cries because she can’t eat cake and has to sit on a lily pad. Yeah, but there are, like, lily pads where they’re having the party. You can still participate and get to know the people in the house and maybe not just mean girl it up, you know? Later, Cody goes to apologize to Christmas, but it’s more in the guise of helping Jessica than of being decent to somebody he’s not boning. So he tells her that Mark and Dominique told him to put her up, and it seems completely reasonable that two people to whom he has never spoken got to influence his nomination. He tells her that the strongest players are her, Alex, and Jessica. Yeah, Jessica is really rocking those competitions.
Apparently Dominique hosts a talk show in the house every week with Kevin as her announcer. How do you not take advantage of that energy level? She interview the nominees and it’s mostly fun. The kind of fun that people have when they don’t have access to TV. But man, she opens the floor to questions and then Josh and Cody have themselves another spat. Cody tries hard to talk like a human being and not a Dexter, but all of his answers are about eliminating Paul and then he says that “one or two people” knew about all his decisions, but he won’t say who these people are. Mark notes that his weird vague approach here is not helping Jessica’s game and this was a fun thing that Cody made terrible. I bet that happens a lot in his daily life.
Later, Paul talks Mark down and then starts picking on Dominique’s word choice and seems to think she damaged their standing with the other houseguests. It’s the kind of thing you focus on when you’re looking for a new enemy.
Also? If you just focus on his face and get rid of the beard, Paul kind of looks like old pictures of my dad. That’s not making me like him more.
And now it’s time to vote! Julie fills in everybody on Christmas’ situation and everybody but Cody seems happy for her. Alex and her cat years make a final statement and she’s just vaguely positive. Ramses wants to stay in the house. Cody tells somebody at home not to be a beta and yeah, I’m done with him. There’s only one kind of guy who’s obsessed with alpha and beta status, and it’s the worst kind of guy. “Don’t be a beta” is the douchiest thing to say and it fits Cody perfectly. Let’s just vote this b-hole out and then have the competition to get back in the house hinge on expressing human emotions so we never have to see him again.
Jessica votes to evict Ramses. So does Kevin. OK, let’s not make this a trend. Christmas calls in to vote to evict Ramses. This is not what I was looking for at all and I’m getting stressed out. First, I want Cody out. Second, Ramses is a hometown hero and I want him to be around long enough that Big Brother sends a crew to Grand Rapids.
Raven, who we all forgot exists, votes to evict Cody. Yeah! Eyes on the prize! Dominique stays on task and does the same. Mark votes to evict Cody. We’ve got a 3-3 tie! Baskets votes for Cody. Josh, of course, wants Cody out. So does Elena. Matt’s unnecessary vote is also for Cody. Julie breaks the news and that’s a wrap on Cody. He carries Jessica to the door and doesn’t speak to anybody else. Of course he didn’t.
Julie asks Cody about Jessica and he wants a relationship outside the house. Yeah, ask James and Natalie how that worked out. He does make the good point that his dumb move of nominating Christmas mostly happened because he nominated a third of the house. He doesn’t like Paul, which makes me wish he could have been friends except for Cody being a garbage person. Julie asks him point blank “Do you have a social game?”, which is hilarious. She tells Cody he may have a chance to get back in the game, and I wish she’d kept that just between us. Fingers crossed that the Battle Back is really just a Turing Test.
Oh, time for an endurance competition. They’re standing against a wall, just like you’d expect. This time, it’s the Big Brother Space Station. Almost immediately, the wall leans forward and the competition has begun! And of course, this isn’t wrapping up tonight.
Myndi will be here Sunday for an episode that will probably be devoted mostly to seeing who can stand the longest. In the meantime, Live Feed Spoilees are welcome in the comments and we’ll be checking obsessively to see who wins HoH!