Previously on Big Brother: Kaitlyn’s ability to read auras and really know a person by seeing their spirit didn’t stop her from getting blindsided with a near unanimous vote. It also didn’t help her determine the one person who voted for her, so maybe she’s not as connected to the universe as she thought. And she couldn’t win her way back in on a challenge that, as far as I can tell from here, was either really easy or literally impossible. Either way, it’s enough of her nonsense and we can move on to other people’s nonsense.

Angie gloats about not being evicted and I’m increasingly convinced that’s not her real voice. It feels as put-on as everything else about her. Faysal is glad Kaitlyn’s gone because she did a lot of “unrational things”. Tyler is determined to find out who voted to keep Kaitlyn (it was JC). Hayleigh accuses Faysal and then Scottie is floated as a turncoat. Later, Tyler checks in with JC, who is just as interested in figuring out this puzzler. He DRs that he doesn’t want Tyler to be blamed, but he really did want to cause some chaos.

I never understand this. The vote was nine to one. Why go after that one? What’s wrong with a pity vote that didn’t make a difference? These things don’t have to be unanimous, and I feel like there’s so much mental energy wasted on something so unimportant. Then again, that’s really all they have to think about. It’s not like they can just watch Sharp Objects for a couple hours.

Tyler realizes he has to let people know he voted Kaitlyn out so he just walks into rooms to tell people how he voted and accuse a mysterious force of targeting him. Totally normal. There’s a big deal made about how uncomfortable Scottie looks, but that is kind of how Scottie looks all the time. He has Resting Trying-to-Hold-Back-Stress-Barf Face, or RTTHBSBF. Bayleigh and Sam share their concerns that somebody is trying to frame Tyler and they decide it must be Scottie. Sam makes a scary face that I find profoundly unsettling.

And now it’s time for the HoH! This actually seems to be a new competition and not a repeat or re-skin from the past. There’s a lot of computer stuff around and Brett assumes that means he’s going to win. Having a computer job doesn’t make you an expert at things near which there is a picture of a computer.

Unless…

Unless…

I work for a mortgage company. My job is houses. Big Brother is in a house. By that logic, I should win every competition all summer! I’m signing up right now!

Basically, the challenge is to sit on a platform and ride down a ramp. The goal is to cross the finish line as close to eight seconds as possible, which is much more interesting than just a race. Bayleigh goes first and gets it in 8.08 seconds, and you know nobody is beating eight hundredths of a second so the rest of the competition is just people failing. Also a lot of “slide into my DMs” jokes that don’t get better with repetition.

Oh, did we know that Angela was a pole vaulter? That’s a sport I find super interesting and I would like an entire episode where she talks about it at length. I am not kidding.

Scottie says he’d make a big move if he won HoH again – he’d put up Rachel and Angela. Yes, those two power players. You’re going to rock the house to its foundations.

Anyway, it’s hard to beat an almost perfect score and Bayleigh wins HoH. I have no strong opinions on her, so I’ll take it. She insists she’s going to “regulate”. Her alliance and also Scottie celebrate. Then she talks to Chris through the camera and Rachel walks in on her. Bayleigh says “I’m talking to (nickname that we don’t use)” and Rachel seems genuinely shocked and says “What? You are?” Either Rachel is funnier than we know or kinda dumb. I don’t know and I need this information to find out how much I regret my insta-crush on her. Later, Rachel and Brett agree that Scottie needs to go and Brett does jumping jacks. Ladies.

Tyler talks to Bayleigh and tries to seem like this has been very stressful for him even though he is coasting through this season and the hardest thing he had to do was cast a vote. She tells him he’s impressed with his loyalty but doesn’t like that his loyalty isn’t to her. Hee! Bayleigh tells him that this week is going to get crazy. And she means it. She’s going to nominate Season 19 winner Josh and the concept of pronouns for eviction. Nobody’s going to see that coming!

Faysal and JC play Fake Jenga and sort of flirt. Yeah, Faysal is totally my friend Brian. I shouldn’t name him, but he’s not going to read this. Anyway, there is a segment about Faysan and JC having a sitcom complete with a laugh track and none of it is as funny as their argument about left-handedness.

Haleigh and Bayleigh talk nominations because it’s always smart to pair up with someone with a rhyming name. There’s talk of putting up Scottie, but Brett is definitely going up. So then Scottie comes in to talk to her and act suspicious. She threatens to murder him if he voted for Kaitlyn, and he says it was probably Rachel. She then gets detailed about how she’ll prepare his body when she kills him, and this is not nearly as quirky and funny as she thinks it is. I’m kind of not liking Bayleigh all that much.

Next JC goes to talk to her. She demands that he never turn on her. Bayleigh seems to require absolute fealty in exchange for not being nominated once. She’s a bit much. He says whatever she wants and DRs that she’s crazy. JC goes to Faysal and tells him what Bayleigh talked about and Faysal says nobody knows where his head’s at and they’re getting concerned. They argue about which of them is dump and Faysal has something stuffed in his nose. Is it toilet paper? Did he pick it too much?

He goes to talk to Bayleigh and insists he isn’t there to save JC but she definitely shouldn’t nominate JC. She tells Faysal he’s putting his neck on the line for JC and I think maybe she thinks Head of Household is a lifetime appointment. Dial it back, Bay. Later, she demands Faysal come to the HoH room so she and Haleigh can yell at him. Man, she is a less likeable HoH than Sam. She tells Faysal he can never tell her something is a bad move. I don’t remember if he said that or not and I refuse to rewind. But it’s just a nasty way to act. Essentially, she’s telling him that he can never criticize her gameplay, and this is just unpleasant.

I can’t decide if it’s offensive or not that she keeps calling JC a Tasmanian Devil. Taz wasn’t especially gay, Latino, or short, so maybe it’s OK but it still feels gross and bad.

Fayal gets justifiably irritated about being grilled and being told that he’s not allowed to have an opinion. Bridges going up in flames all over the place.

Next, Rachel goes to talk to Bayleigh. Bayleigh tells her that Scottie said she flipped her vote, but she’s rather backdoor Scotty. She says she wants to put Brett up, and Rachel says she can control Brett. We have not seen this dynamic at all, by the way. Then Bayleigh tells Rachel she’s going up as a pawn, and she is pissed. But Bayleigh proceeds and tells her Rachel she has the power app and she can nominate whoever she wants next week. Her theory is that this means Rachel knows she can keep her safe next week. Except for all the reasons that might not work, so let’s not bet the farm on that just yet.

Nomination ceremony! Bayleigh nominates Brett and Rachel, just like she said she was going to do one minute ago! Hey, editors? I know this is a tough show to put together, but let’s not throw in the towel just yet. It’s still possible to create tension!

Myndi will be here for the Veto on Wednesday! Unless we get that all pole-vaulting Q&A episode, and then I’ll probably just take that recap and let her have the night off.

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