Previously on Big Brother: Angela managed to work the Veto competition in such a way as to backdoor the person she believes is the Hacker – Bayleigh. She was wrong, but since Bayleigh can rewrite a week’s worth of nominations, she’s more of a threat anyway. The Hacker (Haleigh) can still take away somebody’s vote, but somebody from the badly-named alliance is going home tonight and we’re sure to have another angry evictee. Oh, also Brett’s not going to get laid in Hawaii. You know he would have made a bunch of lei jokes anyway.

I miss Zoo. I would always see the first few minutes when I finished the Thursday recap and I always got a kick out of the ludicrous opening narration explaining the premise of the show. And it just got longer every season as the show got weirder. Farewell, Zoo.

Hey, tonight’s evictee will be the first member of the Jury. They are going to be super angry this year. I’m already psyched for the finale – it’s going to be nuts.

Julie kicks it to the tape, and Angela says she would jump under a bus for Tyler. I feel like jumping in front of one would be a more meaningful declaration. Bayleigh says nominating her was the dumbest move in Big Brother history, which, come on. She seems to think her nomination doesn’t count if she’s not the Hacker. She demands an explanation from Tyler, who didn’t put her on the block and never said she was the Hacker. He tells Bayleigh he’s voting to evict her, just in case she wants to cancel his vote. Man, Tyler did not enjoy his treatment last week. He’s usually more of a get-along type.

Bayleigh tells Haleigh that she “literally purposely” didn’t use her Power App. Well, every week she purposely didn’t use it, right? Unless she tried to but she tripped? Haleigh doesn’t want to tell Bayleigh that she’s the real Hacker.

The InstaGranny arrives in the middle of the night and Brett has to take care of her. I’m fairly certain that it’s the same actor who did the “angry reviewer” earlier this season. Does Big Brother only know one improviser? I’m available and I work cheap! It’s not bad – not exactly inspired comedy, but it’s silly.

Hey, one of the rafts in the pool is an NES control pad. Neat!

Bayleigh and Haleigh talk and Bayleigh suggests that the Hacker is “evil – worse than anybody”. Man, that’s going a bit far. Haleigh DRs that maybe she can tell everybody that she’s the Hacker, and that’s absolutely not the reason why Bayleigh is really on the block. The plan was to backdoor her all along. (“Backdoor Bayleigh” is my favorite Skid Row song.)

HA! When Haleigh appears in the DR, her occupation is listed as “Hacker”. That’s amazing. She decides to come clean and tell Bayleigh that she’s the Hacker. This angst is not really necessary – nothing she did put Bayleigh at risk and Bayleigh’s not on the block for being the Hacker. She’s on the block because she was unbearable as HoH and everybody knows about her Power App. But this is destroying Haleigh, who has done nothing wrong. Haleigh plans to tell everybody that she’s the Hacker, which accomplishes nothing – nominations can’t be changed and it’s essentially her declaring that they should evict her other alliance member instead.

Haleigh calls a house meeting and nobody seems happy about it. She demands that people apologize to Bayleigh because she, Haleigh, is the real Hacker. Why would you apologize, by the way? It’s not like suspecting that somebody won a competition is an insult. Bayleigh and Tyler argue over which of them said that Angela would be the replacement nominee last week. Given that Tyler knew that was the case and didn’t use the Veto, this just makes him look better to his alliance. Bayleigh screams at Tyler and he keeps antagonizing her. Keep in mind that all he’s really done is not take the Veto from Angela. Tyler: “Just because you’re screaming doesn’t make it true.” She screams more and I think she thinks Tyler nominated her. She’s moved on to the kind of scream that almost isn’t words, and this is not helping her case.

After that, Angela wants to talk to Tyler. Reasonably so. Tyler keeps insisting he’s not a villain and other than being kinda good at playing the game, he hasn’t really done anything that could be deemed villainous. I feel like there’s a big chunk of backstory I’m missing.

We’re almost at the halfway mark, so I’m willing to bet this is an endurance HoH and they won’t finish the comp tonight.

Back at the live show, it’s time for final speeches. Angie does her thing and I feel like she is trying do an impression of an ethnic group that doesn’t exist. Bayleigh, more composed, just asks them to keep her if it’s better for their game.

The Hacker appears on the monitor to tell them that Tyler doesn’t get to vote. I like that the Hacker avatar makes the announcement instead of actual Haleigh. They committed to the bit.

Kaycee votes to evict Bayleigh. So does Brett. And so does Faysal. Yeah, her alliance is going to cut and run. Scottie votes to evict Bayleigh. That’s enough to do it. Haleigh votes to evict Bayleigh, which elicits an audience gasp. Sam votes to evict Angie, which is an interesting movie. JC votes against Bayleigh to make it a landslide.

Julie makes the announcement and Bayleigh actually says goodbye and dishes out some hugs. Sam says she voted to keep her and I wonder if Sam thinks she’s already working the Jury. When she emerges from the house, she seems to be in good spirits, which is a real change this season.

The Chenterview begins with Julie asking her about the house meeting and she loses me by declaring herself “a true Gemini”. Hey, I was born in June, too. I never scream at people. Then Julie brings up the Power App and asks why she told Rachel and she says it was just to shut her up. Julie tells her that Chris went to her parents’ house and she freaks out in the happy way. Then it’s time for the goodbye messages. She rolls her eyes at Angela, who is very kind. She gives Tyler a nod and chokes up at Haleigh. Brett taunts her, which is a good move now that there’s a Jury. Bayleigh insists that everybody still loves her. She was the first person voted out because they were loved too much!

Hey, they whipped through that. We might actually get a full HoH competition tonight!

This week’s competition presents them with three pictures of houseguests and a scrambled hashtag. Decode the hashtag (they’re putting all their eggs in the word scramble basket this week), pick who it applies to. If you’re right, you move on and pick the next two to compete and your opponent is eliminated. If you’re wrong, you’re out. If nobody answers, you’re both out. The example they give is (unscrambled) #I am the outgoing HOH – yes, CBS thinks there are spaces in hashtags. Anyway, you would pick Angela for that one. Got it?

JC gets the first one and eliminates Sam. He picks Angie and Tyler. Tyler gets it wrong and eliminates himself. The key seems to be to find a word or two and then just guess. You don’t have to spell out the hashtag or anything. Kaycee swears and they cut to the fish and also gets it wrong so Brett moves on. Another cut to the fish because Faysal swears. Faysal gets it wrong and Haleigh moves on.

Scottie vs. Brett. Now that I look at it, the hashtags actually seem to be in order and you just have to figure out the spacing. This is easier than I thought. Brett eliminates Scottie. Haleigh eliminates Angie. Brett eliminates himself and JC moves on. It’s Haleigh vs. JC in the battle none of us were expecting. Haleigh wins it and she has been on quite the journey. Somehow, I still bet Angie winds up on the block. That’s her thing now.

Audio problems swallow the ending of the episode, and that’s that.

Either Myndi or I will be here for Sunday’s episode. We haven’t worked that out yet. It’ll definitely be one of us, though.

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