Previously on Big Brother: Nobody was especially psyched to have Scottie back in the house, least of all the editors who clearly spend their days looking for the most unflattering insert shots. Tyler had to finally buckle down and commit to something, so he nominated Haleigh and Scottie, which was not exactly a surprise but at least he acknowledged that there are people who are not in his Final Two. He and I actually have a Final Two deal, and I don’t even know how that would work.

We jump back to the aftermath of the nominations. Haleigh talks about how she survives and adapts and I’m wondering if she’s the Species monster. She asks Scottie why they keep losing, and probably a lot of it comes from hanging out with Faysal.

Haleigh goes to Tyler to see who his target is, and I say this all the time, but that doesn’t matter. HoH doesn’t vote! Tyler actually points this out to her and if I had to briefly mindmeld with one Houseguest, he would not be my first choice. He won’t commit to anything so she decides she’ll win the Veto. She could probably also try to cozy up for some votes, but that strategy eludes her.

JC reports to Tyler that everybody thinks the target is Haleigh and that proves he’s learning. JC is getting a little obvious with his idea that he’s the one controlling events – a little too smug for somebody who’s never won a competition. Tyler DRs that he sees what JC is doing and he has to do something about it. But will he? Sorry, I don’t actually know. That sounded like I was setting up foreshadowing.

Sam is going to straighten Tyler’s hair and we learn that she’s licensed as a stylist in two states. This is in addition to being a welder. She has a diverse skill set. His straightened hair flows in a way that looks very ladylike to me. I don’t think any man with long hair automatically looks like a woman, but in the DR especially, he is very close to having a Rachel. Also, from some angles, he kinda looks like Kamandi, The Last Boy on Earth. It’s very weird. JC says he looks like an “old, independent woman”.

Now we get the soft strings of the Angela / Tyler Love Theme. There’s a whole segment about how people keep walking in on them. I mean, could that possibly be because the two of them have been back-to-back HoH and everybody’s always trying to chat up the HoH. They give themselves a point every time somebody walks in on them, but that’s a bad game because it’s always going to be tied. This segment lasts forever and ends with a night vision makeout. Tyler’s hair is curly in this section, by the way.

Time to pick players for the Veto Competition! Tyler draws Kaycee’s name. Scottie gets Houseguest’s Choice and picks Steve which is funny because he hasn’t had a friend since the first week. Then he picks Sam.   And Haleigh picks JC.

Later, Sam is feeling sorry for herself and this is a montage about Sam being grumpy and yelling at people. This is a little more than just being the only adult in the house and getting frustrated by that. She’s a little bit of an emotional roller coaster. She talks a lot about quitting smoking, and it’s always weird to be reminded that people still smoke. In Michigan, you really can’t smoke inside any kind of building that’s open to the public and none of my friends do it, so I never encounter smoking. I’ll see cigarettes for sale and that’s my reminder that they still make those things.

Haleigh tells Kaycee that she wants to apologize and she would have done things differently and they’re both openly working the other for potential safety / votes, but they also both kind of know it. Kaycee later tells JC that they have to win the Veto and she tells him he needs to try. It’s cute that she thinks his poor performance is just because he’s been dogging it.

It’s time for the competition, and Brett is dressed like an emoji. Oh no. Basically, they have to take a bunch of emoji balls, one at a time, across a seesaw balance beam. First one to get all their emoji across and piled on the other side wins. Any of them touch the ground or you step off the seesaw and you have to start over. So the emoji theme is entirely meaningless. Also, CBS doesn’t know that the plural of “emoji” is “emoji”. Tyler and Kaycee take an early lead and Scottie keeps having to reset. Then Kaycee takes a bad fall and has to reset quite a lot of progress. After a while, they start dumping water on the competitors and that actually seems kind of dangerous. Tyler has to reset. JC is actually doing all right and I wonder if his lower center of gravity is a factor there. Tyler resets again and JC ends up in the lead. Scottie remains dead last.

It seems like this competition took a long time, and I would pay money to watch real time footage of Scottie the whole time. Anyway, with one ball to go, Kaycee almost has a crisis. Haleigh slips, but she’s so far behind Kaycee and JC that she wasn’t a factor anyway. Kaycee ends up winning it, and she’s on a bit of a Veto streak.

Later, Tyler tells Haleigh not to freak out but he says it in a way that suggests he’s going to tell her something, but it’s just general advice. Haleigh says she doesn’t want to make Angela jealous, and I don’t think anybody’s worried about that. She’s frustrated that he doesn’t commit to anything and that is a fair criticism. Later, she hammocks up with Scottie and they realize Tyler told each of them that they’re the pawn. Also, Scottie thinks they’re not taking the Jury into account, which is true but also, if two people from that alliance go to Final Two, then they just have to try and win votes with their gameplay style. It’s a binary choice, so if everybody in the Jury is mad at both of the Final Two, they still have to vote for one of them.

Haleigh cries and tells Kaycee that Tyler told Scottie he was a pawn. Man, almost every week, both people hear that. This is not a unique situation.

Veto meeting! There are no speeches, and I assume they just got cut for time and because they’re boring. Kaycee does not use the Veto and that’s that. For the first time in a while, the vote could go either way. And Myndi will…. oh, no. Scottie just called himself “cool guy pawn”. Anyway, Myndi will bring you the exciting eviction news tomorrow.

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