Previously on Big Brother: Scottie was evicted for the second time, only a week after his return. Put him back in again and they’ll kick him out during the veto competition! Also, since the first week, we haven’t seen anybody in the house mention Scottie’s virginity, but the announcer mentions it all the time. I think the announcer might be a bully!

We cut back to Thursday night and Kaycee is super happy about winning HoH. And, yeah, she’s really on a streak. She should be proud! Brett notes that he was so close but he didn’t really want to win anyway because who needs the blood on their hands? Man, that has become such a pervasive image for this show. I think we need new phrases to replace that and “backdoor”. Haleigh sulks about how she’s definitely going on the block again. Sam sits alone and says “Another Thursday down, and I didn’t cry”. Oh, that just makes me sad.

Time to see Kaycee’s HoH room! And if you assume we’re getting a return of this gradually disappearing segment because they’ve got some sweet, sweet tears coming, you are correct. She gets a very sweet letter from her brother asking her to be his best… man? Best ma’am? Whatever. It’s not super clear whether she already knew her brother was engaged, so there could really be a lot going on there.

Hey, another segment about the secret love between Angela and Tyler. Strike that. It’s actually about Angela’s weird sense of smell. She says it’s super acute and there’s a montage of her being grossed out by stuff. From the DR, she identifies what Kaycee is currently cooking, and that’s pretty impressive. Then she explains the houseguest smells, and the best is when she says Brett smells like “if a frat house had fish and beans night”. HA! She says JC is a very moist individual and Sam smells like a grandmother. Tyler smells amazing, which I don’t believe for a second.

Kaycee, Brett and Angela talk about the best way to let Sam know she’s going up as a pawn. Brett takes it upon himself to tell her she shouldn’t panic, and for all he knows, he’s going up on the block himself! The way Level 6 is pretending not to have an alliance at this late stage is pretty impressive. Sam is pretty blase about it, but you know it’s going to come up again. So Kaycee goes to talk to her and explains that she really has to put up a pawn. They keep cutting away to Haleigh who has, like, gray facepaint around her mouth and it sort of looks like Homer Simpson’s stubble line.

Then Haleigh goes to Kaycee and tells her over and over again “you have me”, but she did put Kaycee on the block twice, so there’s that. The producers ding a bell every time Haleigh says “you have me”, which is funnier than it should be.

Next, Nicole from BB18 shows up to host the luxury competition. I’m not entirely sure they’ve had any luxury competitions this season. She can’t find the Houseguests, and they see her on the monitor in the HoH room, but it seems like they’re locked in. In the living room, there’s a video message from Victor, and I had no idea they were dating and it’s actually very sweet, and then a clean-shaven Victor shows up in person to propose. And then a bunch of houseguests show up and there’s Paul and Josh and Derrick and Daniele and Britney and it’s a lot of fun but also? A lot of those people were not on the show with Nicole and Victor. Like, why is Josh there? Are all the past Houseguests required to be friends? Because it’s super weird if she’s sharing this huge moment with a guy who was on the same TV show she was but a year later. Brittany, sure. I’d invite Britney to my wedding, but Josh? They let the current houseguests loose to celebrate, and that seems even weirder. You know who should witness your proposal? People you have literally never met but are sleeping in your old bed. Sam compares it to a Nicholas Sparks novel, which is the comparison you’d expect her to make.

We don’t see it, but I assume that JC used his power to control big dumb guys and made Josh like rob a bank or something. The bigger and dumber, the more power he has. Pray that Jessie doesn’t return this season. I mean, I’d be praying for that anyway.

Angela tells us that Derrick smells really good. Oh, please tell us what Paul smells like.

Later, JC uses a hula hoop as a jump rope and then as a hula hoop. That was a good use of our time. Tyler asks Angela about her life, and she was a gymnastics kid at a very young age. She basically spent so much time in gymnastics that she didn’t really have a childhood and now it’s all just bad memories. She says it’s why she has no emotions now and it messed up her family and this is a lot to lay out before nominations.

Haleigh goes to the HoH room but Kaycee can’t hear her because she’s blasting her earbuds. The show would have us believe she’s listening to generic metal, which is pretty funny. You know what I love listening to? The same four bars over and over for all eternity. Haleigh asks if she’s going to be nominated and Kaycee says she will be, but not as a target. I say this all the time, but it’s really the voters who decide that.

I’m pretty sure Kaycee says “the last three weeks have been suck”.

And now it’s nomination time. Unsurprisingly, since both of these people have been told they’re going up, the nominees are Haleigh and Sam. And that’s that!

Myndi will be here on Wednesday for the Veto, and then on Thursday we’ve got a Double Eviction! I’m psyched!

Oh, Sam says that if she gets evicted she will tear the doors off the hinges and “rip these bitches to shreds”. I feel like if she weren’t small and cute, the show would have stepped in to address her anger issues. So maybe we’ll get to see Sam rip a door off the hinges!

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