Previously on Big Brother: Angela won Head of Household again and nominated Sam and JC. Sam was the target, but JC started getting a little pushy with Tyler, and Tyler suggested he might be the target. He really should be. That dude is going to win the game without ever winning a competition and then we’ll have to remember the creepy stuff he did at the beginning of the season, so let’s not force that on us.

We open with Julie summoning everybody to the living room, and they are surprised. It seems to be live, but it isn’t labeled as such. She insists that nobody sit in the nomination seats since we don’t know happened with the Veto just yet. She lets them know it’s an early eviction night and they seem sort of surprised, but my guess is they were kind of expecting it based on past seasons.

Julie introduces herself as Julie Chen-Moonves again because she just wants to watch the world burn. Then she kicks it to the tape to show us what happened after nominations. Sam DRs that nobody wants to hurt her and she’s going to go win the Veto. That strategy has worked out so far! JC also plans to win the Veto, and who’s going to break it to him? JC talks to a stuffed owl and says “Now I understand all your problems”. The owl’s not nominated. He’ll be fine. His problems are largely centered on the availability of mice.

Later, JC talks to Tyler about how he feels alone and wants to remind him that he’s not a pawn. And see, JC is worried that Tyler will be the replacement nominee. Basically, it’s a two-eviction plan to evict Kaycee and it centers on JC winning Veto this week. Here’s where being bad at competitions and being only tangentially involved with an alliance becomes a problem. He has to either hope somebody carries him or he needs a ridiculously specific set of win condition. And his desperation is showing, which is not what you want right now.

And now it’s Veto time. Or so Julie says. We actually see a food fight in the kitchen while Sam needlepoints in a bedroom to the strains of Sad Lady music. No, not needlepoint. She’s making animals out of fabric scraps? It’s a little weird.

Now it’s time for the Veto! Everybody has to go to a separate room, which means a time challenge. First it’s Tyler, and he’s in a vaguely medieval costume. It’s a hedge maze, but with the twist that there are three stations inside (wizard, wolves, witches) that they have to visit in order. If it takes more than thirty seconds to get from one station to the next, you have to start over while the clock runs. So you want to find all three stations and then figure out the quickest path. He seems to get through it on his second try, but you know how editing is.

Kaycee takes the smarter strategy of figuring out where everything is, but then she screws up and takes a wrong turn. We don’t see much of her attempt. Angela really struggles with finding the second station. She seems to keep doing the exact same thing and going straight from one to three. Angela gets all turned around and compares herself to a “panic-stricken critter”. She’s trying a little too hard to be folksy. JC figures out where everything is, but he just can’t find it a second time. It seems like he does OK.

Time for results! Kaycee finished in 5:46. Sam timed out at thirty minutes. Nobody is surprised. Tyler got 6:29, so Kaycee is still in the lead. Angela had 10:50, and the editing made me think she timed out. JC could actually win this. Except that he ended up with 11:09 and those editors got us again! Kaycee is killing these Veto competitions.

You can guess how the Veto ceremony goes. Kaycee doesn’t use it. Kaycee DRs that she, Tyler, and Angela have won all of the last ten competitions, which is crazy. JC promises to make everybody suffer if he wins HoH. Nice that he’s just waiting for the opportunity to let power corrupt him. Also, all you can do as HoH is nominate. You can’t make people submit to your whims. It’s weird how these people view HoH most of the time.

And it’s time for the eviction. Sam can’t think of anything to say so she just says “You know what I would say if I had something planned”, which is weird. She also asks them to feed the fish because she doesn’t want them to die. JC loves everybody and ends his speech with “You’re welcome”.

Kaycee votes to evict Sam. Tyler does the same. I’m shocked. They’re going to end up with a JC-shaped mess on their hands. Julie breaks the news, and we’re all waiting to see if Sam goes nuts. She takes it pretty well, and you know, as weird as she could be. Sam’s a nice lady and funnier than she needed to be.

She doesn’t have much time for her Chen-Moonvesterview, but she’s surprised to be evicted because “JC is annoying”. Sam thanks CBS and America and her parents and since it’s a surprise eviction, there are no videos. That’s about par for the course for poor Sam.

HoH time! Winner is guaranteed a spot in the final three! Stakes are high, bro! It’s the challenge we get this time every year – they play videos from the season of somebody speaking, and a word or phrase is bleeped. Julie tells you what it could be, and you pick true or false. Also, they try to make it sound dirty. JC gets a slight lead and then everybody keeps picking the same answers and this is going to get weird. The audience groans when Tyler and JC pick the same answer on the final question, because that means JC wins. Oh, this is going to be wild.

Because really, what matters is winning Veto. If you win that, you’re the one vote and you choose who’s going to Final Three. And I wouldn’t bet against Kaycee in a Veto challenge. Myndi will be here to bring you the skinny tomorrow. Home stretch, folks!

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