Previously on Big Brother: They turned somebody into a robot and the guy who picked a ham-themed punishment was surprised to find out that it involved ham. That’s pretty much it. Now it’s time to get to the first eviction and find out if maybe thinning the ranks will make it easier for me to keep track of everybody.

Hi Julie! The announcer straight up makes fun of FOUTTE’s alliance name, which is great. I don’t remember that ever happening before, but I love it.

How do we have both Bayleigh and Haleigh in the same season? I keep calling Kaitlyn “Kayleigh” by accident, partly to complete the set and partly because I listened to a lot of Marillion in college.

Julie explains that if Sam is evicted and uses her bonus life, she’ll have to win a live challenge to get back in the house. I was curious as to how that worked and I guessed wrong. That’ll teach me.

Steve seems pretty secure about his chances of staying in the house. Tyler tries to drum up support for Sam. Faysal and Kaitlyn talk about hair and apparently these two have a budding friendship. Sam is summoned back into robot mode and explains that she’s going to make people feel like she’s invaluable, which is difficult as a robot. She tries to help cook, but that’s mostly just standing near the person who’s cooking and making supportive noises. Later, Haleigh flirts with Faysal. She’s afraid that a relationship will make her a target. Then for some reason they seem to add diarrhea sounds to a shot of Kaitlyn leaving the bathroom. I have never understood this show less than I do right now. Later, Kaitlyn DRs that she does not like whatever is going on between those two.

Tyler talks to Kaycee, Angela, and Rachel about keeping Sam and they keep talking about it when Brett and Winston come in. They think Kaitlyn might be a good seventh vote. And then it’s more Faysal and Haleigh flirting and she says it’s not a good idea but he can’t help the way he feels. Then they share a bed and he keeps the full court press going. They make out and I feel icky. Kaitlyn finds them doing stuff under a blanket and passive aggressives that they’re having sex. Since there’s no response from under the blanket, she might actually be right on that one. But if they are, they’re not moving much. It’s like a Last Man on Earth sex scene. Then Kaitlyn comes in to yell at him about a bracelet.

Kaitlyn is sad, so obviously this is the right time to try and flip her vote. They keep cutting to Robot Sam with the implication that she’s hiding under a towel and listening, but I can’t tell what room she’s actually in. It’s funny though and that’s what I care about. When it comes back to the live show, the audio cuts out, at least on my feed, so I’ll never know what Julie says.

When the sound comes back, it’s time for the nominees to make their closing statements. Steve says everybody there is great. Sam says hi to her family and she loves everybody including the robot. You know, she doesn’t sound like Pamela Adlon, but she does sound like a character voiced by Pamela Adlon.

Time to vote! Scottie votes to evict Sam. JC votes to evict Steve. Chris votes against Sam. Bayleigh does the same. Rachel, who we don’t see often enough, votes against Steve. Katcee votes to evict Steve. Three to three as we go to commercial.

When we come back, Faysal votes to evict Sam. Haleigh does, too. Angela votes to evict Steve. This is stressful! Brett votes to evict Steve, tying it up again. Winston does the same, making me briefly regret how mean I was to him. For just a second, though. Kaitlyn makes a very big deal out of voting to evict Steve. So Steve’s out but we still have to let Angie vote, but I’m tuning her out. She just rubs me the wrong way and I find her exhausting.

Julie makes the announcement and Steve is surprised, but not nearly as surprised as Chris, who has very big reactions to everything. Farewell, Steve. I never really got very far on those Jimmy Smits nicknames and you deserved better than that. Or you got exactly what you deserve. Frankly, you had aboutĀ four minutes of screen time and so I’m not up to date on your whole deal.

Chenterview! Steve is shocked but he attributes it to overconfidence. He figures maybe having two alliances was a problem, but it seems like his problem was that he actually had zero alliances. He uses the word “disclude” and I can’t get over that. Julie shows clips of him talking way too much about cops and not fooling anybody. like that’s the only thing he ever talked about. Julie asks why he was so bad at this considering he was actually an undercover cop. Do you think he hinted about being a cop while he was on the job? I feel like he must have.

Goodbye videos! Chris is once again flummoxed because he thinks he’s in control of the house and all he did was win that one competition. Scottie looks like he’s going to cry, which is weird since they shoot those goodbye videos for both people and nothing had actually happened. Just thinking about being Steveless makes him weepy.

And now it’s time for the Head of Household competition. They’re standing over a big 3D map with open buildings and each building has a salary. They have to flip a ball at the map and the highest salary wins. So it’s a competition we’ve seen a bunch of times but with this weird salary nonsense added in.

Scottie goes first and after several people miss altogether or go lower, Sam takes the lead. Kaycee and Faysal both bust and then Kaitlyn takes the lead. Oh no. She’s going to nominate the concept of sadness and a chipmunk who holds the soul of Richard Nixon. Chris misses and is once again baffled that he didn’t win something. Also, Rachel is wearing the dress from the Columbia Pictures logo. She busts, which means Kaitlyn is Head of Household and holy smokes, that’s going to be a nightmare.

Myndi will be here for nominations and apps, and she’ll have this whole Kaitlyn mess to deal with. She has my sympathies.

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