Previously on Big Brother: Cliff struck a deal with Christie that didn’t benefit him in the least and because nobody outside the Six-Shooters alliance can count, Isabella was eliminated. And then we ended on a cliffhanger endurance competition. You’re caught up!

We start out with people hanging from ropes, just as they were when we left them. Jack is telling people how they should do their rope hanging better. I feel like most of Jack’s conversations involve him dispensing unwanted advice. This is a fun endurance challenge because the vines can pull their limbs all over the place. Jessica is first to fall and then she draws a chip and doesn’t get poison ivy. Nicole drops next after some hilarious spreadeagling. No poison ivy for her! Nicole DRs that she knows there’s a big group in the house that’s running the game. Good thing she voted in their interest just minutes ago, huh?

Sam ends up horizontal before he falls, and as you’d expect, he shouts about it. No poison ivy, though! The producers start flinging goop at the remaining contestants, which is the best part of any endurance challenge. Christie falls and also draws a poison ivy chip. Nick, for whom this was a must-win, drops shortly after. Kathryn is determined not to let Michie beat her, and there’s a montage of him being crappy to her. Michie is a bad guy. There’s no two ways about it. There’s a clip we haven’t seen where Kathryn sprays Febreeze when Michie farts during the night and he gets really bent out of shape about it. Holy smokes, guys. Michie literally thinks his shit doesn’t stink!

Jack is the next to fall and then he gives Michie sideline advice. I don’t like Michie, but he’s doing better than Jack did, so maybe Jack should shut up. Sis has a close call and she assures us she know what pain is because she played soccer. The most painful of all sports. Tommy DRs about how he doesn’t want to win, and, you know, sure. Did you not want to win any other competitions either? He falls and ends up with the second poison ivy chip.

Michie really starts to shake and it makes me happy to see him fall. We’re at the hour and a half mark, and I think Tommy fell at 17 minutes. Man, there’s a clear divide between the people who did well and the people who didn’t. Kathryn gets Holly and Sis to promise not to put her up and her main goal was to outlast Michie, so she lets go. Now it’s two people in the same alliance and maybe they should work out a deal. In fact, they try to work out a deal but Michie keeps shouting at Holly. Hey man, do better in the competition if you want to work out a deal. Like, they try to talk and he just shouts “No” to drown them out. This blockhead is the worst. Finally, Sis falls and it’s not a “Hey, this person in my alliance has my back” fall. This is a “muscles gave out” fall. Holly wins Head of Household! I may not like her alliance, but she’s one of the least objectionable members. Sis is beyond irritated with Michie. Join the club, lady.

Michie DRs that he wants to help Holly get the most use out of her HoH and he’s the physical embodiment of mansplaining. Cliff then goes around the house giving people sips of beer. This is his social game. Hey guys, do you want to drink from this community beer? Nick and Sam talk about how much trouble they’re in. They decide to lay low, and I think that could work because I forget they’re on this show all the time. Sis complains to Christie and Tommy about Michie and it’s heartbreaking that they’re laying so much pipe for somebody to make a big move and it’s not going to happen.

Time to see Holly’s HoH room! But she runs down to the living room to announce it and nobody’s there. That’s pretty good. Is this the first HoH bedroom reveal we’ve had this season. People cry about a pleasantly supportive letter from her family. Then we get more people in Michie’s alliance talking about how they don’t like him and that hope that something is going to happen gets even stronger and we are going to be disappointed.

Michie asks Holly “What’s going on in that little head?” and I hate him so much that I black out on yet another scene of him telling her what do to. The point is he tells her to nominate Nick and Sam and she really doesn’t get any say in it.

Oh man, here’s a scene of Kathryn talking about conspiracy theories, and she believes all of them, from the fake moon landing to Avril Lavigne’s replacement, but she doesn’t really have the full details on any of them. She leans into the flag on the moon and why it’s blowing without wind, but the flag is made of rigid material. It’s weird that people are confused by this. It’s a pretty funny segment, at least.

Time for Poison Ivy! Christie and Tommy and up with splotches of red body paint, which isn’t anything, but they pretend they’re itchy. More pertinently, they can’t go outside or shower for four days. One thing I like about this show is how excited everybody gets for anything different. Even if it’s objectively dumb, at least it’s something to pass the time.

Sam goes up to the HoH room to talk to Holly about how he could be useful to them and maybe they don’t need to put him on the block. He actually does a pretty good job, but it’s not going to matter. Then in night vision, Michie and Holly talk about how maybe Christie is a problem and she’s quietly running the alliance. Oh, somebody’s going to do something interesting! Except they won’t!

Nomination time! After all that narrative groundwork for a big move, Holly nominates Nick and Sam and Michie gets his way again. I am so hoping this alliance turns on itself soon, instead of just talking about it.

Will the Veto mix things up? Will all the Six-Shooter betrayal talk coalesce into something happening? I don’t know, but Myndi will be here to fill you in.

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