Previously on Big Brother: Michie and Sis were hilarious, which caused me to reconsider a lot of things. After a few days of looking like Christie was going to be eliminated, the Otev competition went as badly as it could and Christie was saved, leaving Kathryn and Cliff Hogg III on the block. I’m on pins and needles!

Julie promises us the last 24 hours have been a whirlwind, but that just feels like empty words after that week where things went nuts an hour before airtime.

They keep showing a clip where Julie calls Tommy “the birthday boy” and that makes me wish one of the actual Birthday Boys had been a houseguest.

Also, the narrator says that Tommy saved Christie “from damnation”. It’s getting late in the season and that guy is just going off script now. Or else the stakes are very different from what we’ve been led to believe.

Julie kicks it to the tape to see what happened after the Veto. Hope you’re ready for all the people you don’t like to form a new alliance! Cliff DRs that he hopes Kat gets evicted and not him. That’s just the kind of insight the Cliff-a-maniacs crave. Nicole is upset that Sis has to choose between two friends and Sis is dressed like a chicken. It’s hard to tell which bothers her more.

Cliff promises Kat that he won’t sabotage her. And then, Kat appears on Michie’s bed while he’s sleeping (and wearing a sleep mask) and wants to be reassured that she won’t be evicted. They’ve clearly had this conversation a million times because he’s half asleep and still hits all the beats.

Nick DRs about how he wants to be in a new alliance to take out Michie and Holly and that’s why Kat needs to go. Also, Christie and Tommy are very eager to have a new alliance of six, which is increasingly unwieldy as the game goes on. They’re willing to bring in Cliff and Nicole but excluding Jessica, which is I guess how Jack would have wanted it.

Nick goes out to talk to Cliff to pitch this new alliance, which Cliff is happy to accept. The smarter, and more loyal, move would be to reach out to Michie and Holly to join Nicole and Jessica and then they have the dominant alliance and he doesn’t need to toss aside somebody to whom he promised loyalty. You’re a coward, Cliff. Enjoy being the bottom of a new alliance. Nick reports back to Christie and Sis and I’ve reached the point where seeing Christie happy makes me die inside. And if she talks about manifesting one more time, I swear…

Next, Nick goes to Nicole to tell her that she’s the swing vote and he says he can’t trust Kat so clearly it’s on her to vote Kat out. Nick is bad at telling people what’s in it for them.

Also, Cliff can stop wearing that stupid cowboy hat any time now. Unless you’re actually busy ranching or being Raylan Givens, don’t wear a cowboy hat. It’s as dumb as somebody just wearing a pirate hate or powdered wig.

Holly and Michie get in the hammock to talk about how the game is going and how they can’t do much for Kat because people are already suspicious. Kat tells Nicole that if she goes home, she hopes Nicole sticks with Cliff and Jessica, but she would really like to stay. Boy, Kat cares way more about their alliance than Cliff does. Nicole is not at all equipped to have to be the one who makes this choice, possibly because she’s a seven-year-old who made a wish to be big.

Later, Nicole and Cliff talk about the vote. She’s not happy that Jessica is excluded because she’s more loyal than Cliff is. She also knows how to count and knows they’d be at the bottom of this alliance. So Nicole tells Jessica about this deal, which is an admirable move. Jessica is really hurt by this and as they talk, they sold me on the idea that Nicole would vote Cliff out because that’s clearly better for her game.

Jessica tells Kat about Cliff’s deal and that’s where Kat learns that those bitches (by which I mean Nick and Cliff) really are conspiring against her. Kat cries because the deck is stacked against her and Cliff did the one thing that she asked him not to do. She isn’t even campaigning against him and he sold out their alliance. Jessica wants to make this very public, but Kat goes to Cliff and asks why he sold out Jessica and he says “because I’m on the block” and she’s like, well, so am I and I’m not an a-hole. We all know about my crush, but I’m really impressed with Kat right now. You can be on the block vs. a friend and honor them or sell them out, and she and Cliff made very different choices. And the way this turns out would seem to promote disloyalty, but that’s how the prisoner’s dilemma works. Team Kat, I guess is what I’m saying.

Jessica goes to Holly about the new alliance, and Holly, in turn, tells Michie. Michie takes this the way he takes everything now, with an air of resignation. And they agree they need to vote the way Nicole does, which makes sense. They can’t save Kat without her, and there’s already enough suspicion being thrown their way. This is one of the few cases where it makes sense to me to vote with a known majority.

The Sinister Six meet and Nicole is still undecided. And here’s where I think they decided the outcome – Nicole’s response is to give in when pushed hard enough and one group was really making demands of her and the other was not forcing additional stress. Can you tell that I’ve picked my side?

And now we’re back to the live show. Everybody is wearing lederhosen, by the way. There’s a fun detail for you. Kat gets to make her last speech and she calls Cliff her dad and then emphasizes what a threat he actually is and throws some shade at Nick before ending with “Conspire away, bitches”. I love you, Kat. Cliff talks to his kids and then tries to do a Jerry Springer bit where the results reveal that he’s not Kat’s father, but I’m done with this doofus.

Time to vote! Long story short, only Jessica votes to save Kat, though Michie, Holly, and Nicole seem genuinely upset about their votes. Holly almost bursts into tears and Michie barely croaks out the words. Damn it. How am I getting through the summer now? No Big Brother crush for the rest of the season!

I am in the weird position of having to root for Michie and Holly now, and I don’t like how that feels. Julie breaks the news and Kat leaves with a smile, stopping only to hug Jessica. Once she gets out into the studio, the crowd goes nuts and she seems so excited about it. I feel like we let Kat down, guys. We could have done more.

ChenMoonvesterview. Kat talks about how Jessica has been such a good friend (“Or maybe she hasn’t. I don’t know.”). Julie asks her about confronting Cliff and she admits that she would have evicted Cliff the first chance she got but she would choose Jessica and Nicole over Michie and Holly. She keeps asking Julie where she went wrong and Julie has to tell her she can’t say because Kat’s a jury member. She says she wouldn’t have taken the deal they offered Cliff even if it makes her the worst player in Big Brother history. She really seems to feel like she blew it somewhere, and I don’t think she did. Michie messed up her game by deciding he want to sleep with somebody different and that put her outside the alliance that controlled the first half of the game. Julie says they’re sending her to the Jury House with Jack and Kat’s sarcastic “Woo-Hoo” is really funny.

HoH competition is the annual “Go back and forth across a slippery surface to fill a very large container with liquid”, which is always fun. However, it’s also a very long competition so we aren’t going to get our winner tonight.

Myndi will have the slips and falls and the winner for you next time, and she’s probably less shaken up by the loss of Kat than I am.

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