Previously on Big Brother: Sis was eliminated when Christie convinced everybody that they needed her to stay so she could take out Nick and everybody bought it because she’s a water-type Pokemon so they need her to defeat Nick’s fire-type. (This is the limit of what I know about Pokemon and it may not even be accurate.) Basically, it didn’t occur to anybody that everybody but Nick can nominate Nick, and Christie doesn’t bring any special powers to the process. Then they kicked off Prank Week and Holly won HoH.

I can’t wait to find out what kind of pranks they’re going to pull on set.

It’s crazy that they keep referring to Tuesday as “Taco Tuesday”, right? Like, the argument was unrelated to food. Just say the name of the day. (My alt on that joke was calling it “the most chaotic Taco Tuesday since LEGO Movie.”)

Michie has a weird DR session where it seems like he thinks he needs to justify to America why Christie is still there. Holly, meanwhile, notes that she’s the first repeat HoH of the season and that’s kind of amazing. Nick assumes he’s going on the block, but nobody knows how Prank Week will affect things. Also, nobody involved with this show seems totally clear on the concept of a prank.

Christie first gloats but then cries about losing her best friend, and when was Sis her best friend? Then we get some flashback to Christie making various deals before the vote. She goes to Cliff first, and Cliff Hogg III will take any deal you offer him. “Hey Cliff, if you promise not to nominate me, I’ll kick you in the groin once a week.” “Sounds good!”

Then she goes to Michie and Holly and continues making this bizarre point that she’s the only one who can stop Nick. The important thing here is that she volunteers to be a pawn. Michie is just impressed that she has so little going for her now that she has to take whatever he offers. Later, Cliff tells Christie that she can’t put Nicole up if she wins HoH and man, he really did just give up on Jessica. You know what? I hope Jessica wins this whole thing.

Michie, Holly, Nicole, and Cliff agree to work together and Nicole seems so happy to have this group that she also forgets Jessica. Back in the present, Christie refers to a deal with Michie and Holly as “consummating a marriage”. Ick. Then there’s more prank talk and Michie does a Risky Business slide. Boy, it’s taking a while for this episode to get moving. Michie and Holly agree that they should keep Christie for a few weeks to make her a target. Guys? We’re rounding the corner here. If you keep somebody for a few weeks, they’re probably going to the finals.

Nicole, Cliff, and Jessica get called in for a punishment. I feel like the PA guy is trying to do a specific voice but just ending up with “a clown maybe?” Those three will have to make pies whenever summoned and then smash them in the face of whoever they’re told. So right away they have to smash pies in their own faces. And yes, this is just whipped cream in pie crust. It’s not like they’re baking a pie and then, like, Nick gets badly burned when they smash a fresh apple pie in his face. Jessica and Nicole claim that it smells, and how old must that whipped cream be? There’s a montage of pie smashes, and it’s mostly aimed at them, since they’re the ones being punished. It’s not your punishment if somebody gets a pie in the face. But then they get awakened by an order to wake somebody up with a pie, and that’s pretty funny. as they get Nick, Tommy, and Christie. Nick is the only one who’s not fully awake, but I still laughed. Especially since Nick couldn’t find Tommy in the dark and pasted him on the side of the head.

Later, Michie talks to Cliff about the both of them going up as pawns, which doesn’t make any sense, but it’s a weird joke that isn’t funny. There’s a lot of talk about how the prank will work and if you’ve been waiting for a clean shot of Cliff Hogg III’s armpits, CBS has got you covered.

Christie checks in with Holly, who mentions putting her up as a pawn. And Christie, who specifically volunteered to do just that, is upset. She even admits that she agreed to do it but “I didn’t realize now”. Holly’s reactions to people being dumb can be very funny. I feel like it would be weird to talk to her because she does not bother to hide her opinion. Holly and Michie are really frustrated with this turn of events and they become increasingly OK with Christie going home if that’s how it ends up.

Next up, Michie’s obsession with watermelons. Apparently he eats it all the time and lovingly prepares it and he says things like “You can’t eat too much watermelon” and “you literally can’t get sick of it”. There’s a montage of him eating watermelon, and Cliff is not sure where these watermelons coming from. There are scenes of him asking the DR for watermelons and complaining that an alien smashed a watermelon and thumping a watermelon to tell everybody how good it sounds. OK, that was actually a fun bit.

The clown PA guy wakes everybody up and summons them to the downstairs bathroom in the middle of the night. But that’s a prank and they’re supposed to go to the living room. That’s not a prank! Anyway, they learn that the viewers voted for America’s Prankster, and said prankster gets to pick one of the nominees. That’s also not a prank. It’s a fun gimmick, but not a prank. Also, the Prankster gets to pick the replacement if their nominee is vetoed, and I like that a lot. You’re going to be a lot less likely to help somebody out if an anonymous person is controlling the replacement.\

Christie DRs that she won’t win because America doesn’t like her and she’s crying while the says that she could literally cry.

Holly and Christie talk later and Holly’s like “I’m definitely not putting you up as a pawn” because, well, she only has one nominee. Still, it’s damage control. They assume Nick will get the Prankster power and he’ll put up Michie. Nick checks in with Holly to pitch that if she doesn’t nominate him, he can Veto Michie, who the Prankster will probably nominate. There are a lot of hypotheticals in that pitch. Holly acts like maybe she won’t nominate Nick, but we all know better.

Now we’ve got a segment about Christie chewing loudly. And they can do anything with the audio they like, but in the DR, almost everybody complains about it, including Tommy. So this is clearly an ongoing issue. She also uses her tongue way too much while eating.

And now we find out who America’s Prankster is – it’s Nick! Is that because Nick is so popular or because people expect him to nominate Christie? I’m out of touch with the fan community this season, so I really don’t know. I mean, last week #ChristieEvictionParty was trending, so that might be my answer. Nick works very hard to make it seem like he didn’t get the power, which would make me suspicious. And then he blows it by telling Nicole he thinks he and Christie are going up, which would require insight into the mind of an unknown person. She passively calls him out, but neither of them really give anything up.

Nomination time! Holly, as expected, nominates Nick. America’s Prankster, as expected, nominates Christie. She takes this as well as you’d expect.

We get ZingBot for the Veto on Wednesday, and I am excited about this. I’m glad Myndi is recapping that one so I can just watch it as a fan. I love ZingBot so much, you guys.

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