Previously on Big Brother. We met a lot of people. And then the Blockhead Formerly Known as Jackson (now going by his last name which is pronounced “Mickey” but spelled “Michie” and I’m pretty sure that’s who Zendaya is) won the Camp Counselor position. This forced him to banish four players and he was surprisingly quick to decide “Well, definitely all the black people”. David was evicted but maybe not. Christie won HoH. Oh, and apparently Jack is super racist and has threatened Kemi with violence on the live feeds, so that takes a lot of the fun out of him looking like Aquaman.
After the HoH competition, Michie DRs about how great everything is. Ovi compliments Christie on her win, which he explains is a strategy. He goes too far by talking about her vibe and promising that he’s at her “call and beckoning”, which is not the phrase. Christie zones out pretty early on. He also offers to let her change clothes under his bed, which is insane.
Kathryn talks to somebody who is either Holly or Analyse and they don’t really look alike but I can only tell which is which if they’re in the same shot. Anyway, Kathryn is worried that she’s an easy target. More women file into the room and they agree that Jack is hot and dumb. They don’t know he’s a racist yet. Isabella doesn’t like that people are talking about Michie and Jack, so she goes to the HoH room to tell Christie and some people who are neither Michie nor Jack. They agree that it’s hilarious that Kathryn thinks she could manipulate Michie. I mean, she’s hot and he’s young and dumb. She totally can. But this bothers Christie for some reason.
Nick, who I already forgot, wants an eight-person alliance. They end up with Khal No-Go, Tommy, Nick, Analyse, Michie, Holly, Isabelle, and Christie. There’s a lot of them pitching the alliance to people. Then they try to come up with a name, which is always the worst. Is it “The Ocho”? Is it “Hateful Eight”? Do they want to remind people of a disappointing Quentin Tarantino movie every day? Look, Walton Goggins was great in that movie, but try watching it again. It gets boring fast and stays boring! That changes to “Grateful 8” and then “Gr8ful” and if you think I want to type that for a whole summer, you’re out of your dang mind. Then Ovi walks in from the next room while they’re still talking about their alliance name, which is pretty funny.
Christie talks to Cliff (full name: Cliff Hogg III) about nominations and explains that she wants to nominate Kathryn and put Cliff up as a pawn. Also, does she think Cliff is so popular he’ll definitely win the vote? He tells her it’s fine but not really and then he DRs the same thing. Next, she talks to Kathryn and tells her that Cliff is an easy nomination but also she has to go up and that’s the only thing that makes sense. Kathryn DRs that this is a load of crap. She and Christie do not like one another at all, but they hug anyway.
Some of the 8 talk about who should go and they name everybody not in their alliance. But they talk about this while Ovi is in the room and awake. He hears enough to know there’s an alliance of eight. He brings his concerns to Analyse, who is one of those eight. Analyse reports it to some alliance members and they are furious that he heard people talking about an alliance and told somebody about it. Yes. This is all Ovi’s fault. He should not make moves to protect himself.
A trumpet blows reveille and everybody heads out to living room to see a graphic about a “Whacktivity Competition” and that seems… dirty, right? Anyway, there’s a Whacktivity (sigh) sign-up board with “Panic”, “Chaos”, and “Nightmare” competitions. Five houseguests each week, winner gets a secret power. The catch is, they don’t know what the competitions are, and they don’t know when they’ll be held. Only once everybody is signed up do they find out the order.
I will never get past thinking that Analyse’s name is a typo for “analyze”. Anyway, Chaos is Week 2. Panic is Week 3. And Nightmare is Week 1 and in fact… today. It’s Kathryn, Isabella, Nicole, Cliff, and Ovi. So, the backyard is full of things that smell weird. Each Houseguest has three garbage cans, each one corresponding to one of those smells. They have to run amount and smell bad things until they can correctly label their garbage cans. A lot of time goes to this and it’s just people sniffing, so I’ll just tell you some things while this goes.
-Kathryn is wearing glasses and it turns out that I have a crush on Glasses Kathryn.
-This is a gross competition to watch because the gross things, whether real or fake, look pad. I don’t want to look at a pie tin full of vomit, even though it’s almost definitely not actual vomit. How wild would it be if they had to get a crew member to puke before they could set up the competition. They just keep feeding Jerry and then punching him in the stomach.
-There are so many different kinds of urine in this competition. Isabella knows the pee immediately, even if not the specific kind.
-Kathryn nearly passes out.
-One of the garbage cans has the smell of “Impure Durian”, and I didn’t know that was a real fruit until this minute. I thought it was made up for Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild where throwing five of them in a cooking pot will give you a dish that completely heals you and then gives you fifteen temporary hearts. If that’s a real fruit, I should be eating five of them a day. I need those hearts!
-It is hard to watch people gagging repeatedly.
It takes several rounds before Ovi ends up winning it. It’s a secret win, like the Hacker competition. They try to figure out who won, and Ovi tries way too hard to be casual. He’s a pleasant dork. Anyway, the Nightmare Power can only be played at night – it will force everybody to get up and the HoH will have to re-nominate on the spot. The previous nominees will be safe and the power is anonymous. It can be played once, during any of the first six weeks. That’s actually a pretty cool power.
Ovie wants to talk about the alliance of eight, and he tells Michie, Jack, Christie, and Analyse. All of whom are in the eight. That’s knowledge you should maybe present publicly. Also, Jack is one of the people he heard talking about it. Ovi? You done screwed up. Poor guy is convinced he build the first alliance of the season and it’ll go in the history books. Dude, the only alliance in the history books is Chill Town. And that’s mostly because of the name.
Kemi goes in to talk to Christy about nomination. Jack is also there. Kemi is suspicious of Ovi and Christie and Jack are so dismissive of her. Like actually rolling their eyes while she talks. Jack DRs about how Kemi shouldn’t be in there talking game. Well, we know why Jack really has an issue with her now. But these two are just casting about for reasons to be mad at people. People who aren’t white. I’m sure that’s not the issue. It’s never been a problem on this show before, right?
Nomination ceremony! Christie nominates Cliff and Kathryn, just like she said she was going to do forty minutes ago. But now her real target is Kemi. Man, I don’t know who I like yet this season, but I know a few people I definitely don’t.
Myndi will be here tomorrow for the first Veto of the season!