Previously on Big Brother: A Double Eviction knocked out both Jessica and Christie, the latter after a surprise HoH win for Nicole. Also, they were both largely incoherent in their ChenMoonvesterviews. Like, I’m starting to think there’s a reason we haven’t seen much of Jessica. Also, after a few weeks of presenting as perfectly likeable, Michie had a heel turn that reminded many of us why we couldn’t stand him in the first place. We’re at the Final Five!

The announcer promises we’re going to see the drama we missed during the live eviction. Hey, are we not going to get a Friday episode where they all go to like a Joss Stone concert in the backyard this year? I feel like we’re being shortchanged.

When they kick it to the tape, Tommy has a tearful DR session about how much he misses Christie and I’m not sure he actually feels anything and he’s just doing a bit for the cameras. I think Myndi likes him a lot better than I do, but I think he’s kind of a skeeve. Michie DRs about remembering all the things he doesn’t like about Christie and then he prays for her and her sister. You know, the one whose life she swore on? Does Michie think he needs an intercessory prayer to save Christie’s sister from divine retribution? Nothing about this cat makes sense. Nicole fights back tears as she DRs about making the Top Five. I really like her. She’s a sweet weirdo who means well and that’s kind of the crew I run with, you know?

We cut back to Thursday after Nicole won HoH so we can see strategizing and it’s not super exciting but Michie seems so happy for her and maybe it’s genuine? I can’t figure that guy out. None of this is super exciting because we already know what happened and there weren’t any surprising blow-ups or reveals. Tommy DRs about how there are so many bigger targets in the house than Christie and himself, but I feel like if Nicole gets to the final two and they ask her what she did to warrant winning, she can point to getting Christie out after four failed attempts by others. And the thing is, I think Cliff would take her to final two, and either Holly or Michie would take her over Cliff. She’s actually in a really good position.

Tommy’s DR sessions reveal him to be shocked about everything and also how funny it was when Michie took a big sip from his mug at the perfect moment. Tommy and Christie hug and cry in the pantry and at this point it’s a couple of weeks until the end of the season. You can’t miss anybody that much in that time.

After the eviction they all talk about how one of them is winning half a million dollars and I’m already getting mad picturing Tommy winning because he’s going to have such a choreographed reaction. I was fine with Tommy at first, but it’s a long season and I just can’t handle it anymore.

There’s a nice bit about how Nicole is going to get pictures and a letter, and I’m glad to see that the short-term HoH in a double eviction still gets that perk, because she’s been talking about it for a while. Tommy DRs that he started the game with an army and he’s the only one left. Well, he joined an alliance right away and several members of that alliance are still here. Actually, his most recent alliance included everybody who’s still in the house, so there’s that. Anyway, Nicole tears up in the Diary Room talking about her family and she’s irritated about it. That actually made me laugh.

Cliff Hogg III holds up his hands whenever he’s trying to be sincere and it’s super weird. It’s been eating at me all summer. Anyway, Nicole reads her letter and it’s very sweet. We don’t get many letters from home segments anymore, and I really enjoyed this one.

Everybody who isn’t Tommy makes a Final Four agreement, and Tommy sits alone, trying to find his best angle for the camera. Later, Cliff and Nicole talk about how nobody expected anything from them and now they’re in the top five. Then Tommy talks to Nicole about whether or not he’s alone and I kinda feel for the guy because it’s not a great position. But as noted, I don’t trust anything he claims to feel because he’s an acting robot. Wait a minute, he’s Calculon from Futurama! That would have been a fun angle if I’d thought of it earlier in the season. Tommy talks to the camera some more.

It’s finally time for the HoH competition! And Bayleigh and Chris from last season are there! Nicole is so geeked to see people she watched on TV and DR’s “This whole day keeps getting better for Nicole”, and it’s that third person that really sold me. She’s the best! And I’ll admit, Chris especially got on my nerves last season but once we knew a little more of the behind the scenes and saw this wasn’t a TV hookup, I am really happy for them. I still will not use his self-assigned nickname, but that’s just principle at this point. They look great, they seem happy, and I wish them all the joy in the world.

The couple is there to proctor the competition, even if they’re not doing all that much. We’ve seen various iterations of this before – they’re going to see posters for three BB-themed movies and then hear people discussing what they’re looking for in a movie. They pick the one that fits their criteria. The thing is, these go on forever and you can really isolate it after maybe two lines – this is not complicated detective work. Anyway, first one with the correct answer wins the point for the round, first to five points wins.

This goes on for a long time and is not nearly as funny as the show thinks it is. There is one legitimately funny bit for a movie called “Ovi the Top” and the poster is Ovi and an owl and Cliff Hogg III and a bed and some lightning and the tagline is “We don’t know what it’s about either”. That made me laugh out loud. I guess you had to be there. Point is, Michie ends up winning.

Later, Tommy heads up to talk to Michie to “plant some seeds of doubt”. He makes weird points about how sometimes Cliff and Nicole would talk to Michie late at night and then makes the slightly more pertinent point that he isn’t Christie. That’s definitely, verifiably true. Unless we have a wild twist and Mission: Impossible masks have been in play the whole season. Nicole and Cliff talk about the possibility that Tommy could win the Veto and then one of them would go home. Which is true but not something that warrants a secret meeting.

Nomination time! Obviously Tommy goes up, and so does Cliff. Barring any Veto weirdness, it looks like Tommy will be going home and we’re that much closer to a Nicole/Holly finale. Myndi will be here with all the Veto news that’s fit to print.

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