It feels early for Trio Dances, with ten contestants still left, but here we are.  You know who we spotted in the ballroom?  Tyler and Angela from this season’s Big Brother.  I like that they snuck in under the wire for the time frame in which I’ll be able to remember why it is that I recognize them. The third member of each team is either a previous winner or runner up, unless it’s just not.  I can’t decide if producers ran out of available options or just got sleepy and asked people to call their friends. 

Juan Pablo DiPace and Cheryl Burke with Melissa Rycroft (24) Coming off perfect 10’s, they clearly feel like the pressure’s on.  This trio cha cha looks a little more like a scene from a lost 80s dance movie (the lighting helps) and I don’t personally feel like it’s all that cohesive. Len wanted more cha cha content but he said he thought there were some lovely steps and that Juan’s “bottom is the tops”.  Bruno calls it dead sexy. He noticed a loss of a step, though. Carrie Ann thought Juan was holding back a bit. She wanted more excitement, but also thought he held the center? Pick one, Carrie Ann. That’s why they pay you.

Tinashe and Brandon Armstrong with Amy Purdy (26) It’s a tango for this trio and it’s got a courtroom theme.  They pull it off nicely, using a lot of traditional tango holds but with three people. Bruno essentially agrees with me. Carrie Ann calls the choreography innovative. She loved the syncopation. Len has a small critique about Tinashe’s neck stretching, but other than that, he simply enjoyed it.

John Schneider and Emma Slater with Joey Fatone (21) Their Argentine tango starts off slowly, but builds to an exciting climax with lifts and spins.  Carrie Ann agrees that it started rough, but when the violins kicked in, she saw a sense of gravitas in John. Len says it had passion and attack. Bruno notes that the lifts were a bit rough and the music was challenging to keep up with. Oh and, guys? Joey Fatone is exhausting.

Evanna Lynch and Keo Motsepe with Scarlet Byrne (24) They do a salsa and it’s a bouncy, fun number.  Len calls it a great routine but says there’s too much hip action.  Bruno says Evanna becomes more confident each week.  Carrie Ann says Evanna was ahead of the music at times, but it was good overall.

DeMarcus Ware and Lindsay Arnold with Rashad Jennings (22) After Rashad actually dislocates DeMarcus’ finger during their initial greeting, they hit the urgent care so they can pop that bad boy back into place and then get down to business. Their football-themed paso doble really does lend itself well to squaring off on the gridiron, and it’s super intense and sexy in the manliest way possible.  Bruno was distracted by the half dressed men, but still wanted more subtley and artistry. Carrie Ann wanted more shaping from DeMarcus instead of trying to mirror Rashad, since their styles are very different. Len liked the specific moves he saw, but calls it a bit flimsy on occasion. He, of course, liked the attack, though. It’s usually his fave.

Mary Lou Retton and Sasha Farber with Nastia Liukin (26) Mary Lou and Nastia go way back in the gymnastics community, and Mary Lou thinks of Nastia like a daughter. Their Charleston incorporates some nice gymnastic elements and really adorable choreo that culminates in one move where Sasha essentially has both girls hanging from his body.  Carrie Ann calls it Mary Lou’s best dance so far. Len calls it fun and snappy. Bruno says the girls were showcased perfectly.

Milo Manheim and Witney Carson with Riker Lynch (29) Their salsa is red hot, truly.  The energy is off the charts and the synchronization is impressive. Len says it had attack and was clean and controlled.  He wanted more hip action and Carrie Ann loses her mind at the suggestion that it was lacking. Bruno calls it electrifying and says they hit every accent to perfection.  Carrie Ann says it was perfect.

Joe Amabale and Jenna Johnson with Jordan Kimball (15) Supposedly, it’s a salsa set in an auto shop (to Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy”, no less), but aside from Jenna’s crazy long legs looking incredible in short shorts, it’s kind of a hot mess.  I can’t believe they just gave him another Bachelor contestant as his trio partner, and the guy adds absolutely nothing. In fact, when they rip their shirts off (per the song’s lyrics) he can’t get his completely undone. Jenna mostly struts around them and then ends the routine by getting them all wet with showers.  It’s awkward at best. Bruno says it was tragic and the timing was non-existent. Carrie Ann calls Jenna MVP, working with what she had. Len says it’s hard to put into words what he just saw.

Alexis Ren and Alan Bersten with Maddie Ziegler (25) Much like the earlier tango, this one works with all three moving in sync for most of the routine. It’s a little bombastic but it’s strong. Carrie Ann calls it very strong, but felt like there were three solos happening instead of dancing as a unit.  Len liked the tango content and a good job overall. Bruno saw the girls being empowered, saying it was sophisticated and there were moments of brilliance.

Bobby Bones and Sharna Burgess with Lindsey Stirling (20) Well, Bobby wins the week for best costume, wearing Hammer pants to dance to “U Can’t Touch This”, but the cha cha is basically rhythmic walking on his part. Len says the Hammer part was good, but his technique needs more finesse. Bruno says the cha cha cha got lost in translation. Carrie Ann calls Bobby authentic, but says his technique was non-existent.

Elimination time! The couples in jeopardy are Evanna and Keo and Tinashe and Brandon.  Neither of these couples should leave week 4, but definitely not Tinashe and Brandon. Yeah, that’s crap. And yet, GROCERY STORE JOE remains.  What is the deal with voting in this country? It’s all a mess. We will be back next week for Disney Night, along with GROCERY STORE JOE.

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