Rather than talk about what a disaster this show has become of late, can we just discuss Erin Andrews’ super chic pantsuit?  That seems much more fun to me. Oh, you want to know who did what? OK, here’s a quick recap of all the dances, and also whatever that thing Spicer does is called.

 

Sean Spicer and Jenna Johnson (20) Lindsay’s mother in law passed away, so Jenna is covering for her. Our condolences. After a brief moment of sadness, we are forced to cry for a different reason, as the wardrobe department has dressed Sean as Tiny Popeye for a Jazz number. This is painful. There’s no growth or development here. At least Bobby Bones developed a little! Len says viewers keep throwing Sean a life preserver, and I’m still convinced it’s being done out of spite. He says the mermaid in the number had better feet than Sean.  Sick burn, bro! Bruno says that Dory has a better sense of direction, but praises his resilience, which comes out “religion”. Carrie Ann points out that this is the same dance over and over. Yeah, no kidding.

Lauren Alaina and Gleb Savchenkco (24) Their jive is full of spunk. Her legs were extended like crazy, and I wonder if even EJ liked this one. Bruno says her legs had good pumping action. He counted three mistakes, but says the performance was great. Carrie Ann says she was good at faking when she miffed it. Len is worried about her elimination, because we live in the Upside Down.

Kel Mitchell and Witney Carson (28) Their salsa is practically perfect, and Carrie Ann freaks out, screaming “You’re leading!” Len loved the hips, and agrees with Carrie Ann. Bruno says he was always the main attraction, no matter what else was going on in the number. Kel gets the first 10 of the season.

Ally Brooke and Sasha Farber (30) As someone who has never really warmed to Ally, let me just say that this was a really riveting paso doble, which was done to Ally’s own song.  The number even starts with her at the mic for just a few bars. Len calls it good technique and high performance. Bruno loses his mind a bit. Carrie Ann calls her a superstar and says her mind is blown. They get the season’s first perfect score.

Hannah Brown and Alan Bersten (29) They have a very sharp, fast quickstep. Bruno says it was a a game changer. She used the floor to get spring in her feet.  Carrie Ann comes in for a hug, calling it the comeback of the season. Len says it was nice frame with clarity of movement, though there was “a little gapping” in promenade, (which gives him an excuse for giving a 9.)

Kate Flannery and Pasha Pashkov (24) In a jive that was honoring her sister’s memory, Kate was lovely. However, I’m torn on the matching plaid suits they wore that were both mesmerizing and hideous. Carrie Ann felt the celebration. She loved her character, but said her arm movements were a little small out of hold. Len came with the lukewarm “It’s not your best, not your worst.” Bruno says it was tailor made for you, which may be an attempt at suit-based humor. But, he says they were out of sync a couple of times, despite it being a charming routine.

James Van Der Beek and Emma Slater (30) They dance a contemporary to a slow version of Don’t Stop Believin’. It’s athletic and bendy and has cool lifts, like most contemporary routines. Everyone’s crying. Len says it like a good book, held his interest from start to finish. Bruno says there was a compelling story, and it had the fluidity of water along with great  musicality. Carrie Anne says it had an amazing lift and was artistry in motion. After earning the second perfect score, we learn they have immunity from the dance off based on last week. 

In said dance offs, it’s Kel vs. Ally in a Jive. Kel was more interesting to me but they’re both good. No one wants to pick. In a 2-1 vote, Kel wins the bonus points.

Sean vs. Kate in the cha cha is no real contest. He has no fluidity, no hips. Kate is delightful. Bruno says Kate is much improved and Sean is…not. Carrie Ann bags on Sean more. Len says they both did a good cha cha and calls it a fun “thing” to watch. The vote is unanimous for Kate.

Lauren vs. Hannah in a salsa is legitimately hot stuff  It’s hard to pick who to focus on. Plus ,there’s lots of shirtless men and shakin’ butts. Tina from Bob’s Burgers would explode. Lauren started just a little slower, but both ended on fire, However, the judges all gush. In theend, though, it’s unanimous for Hannah.

But since the points don’t matter, and this is the dance version of Whose Line Is It Anyway?, Sean and Jenna are saved first and Jenna’s face is priceless. Hannah, James, Kel, and Lauren are all safe as well. 

It’s down to Kate and Ally (hey, I loved that show back in the 80s!) and based on Ally’s night, it’s kind of a no brainer. Carrie Ann is confused and irritated. She saves Ally with a nice compliment to Kate and Bruno basically says the same. There are no tears this week, because Kate clearly understands it’s all bull, and she and Pasha get a lift up as if they just won the mirrorball.   

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