Previously on Dancing with the Stars: You know what? I thought you were cool, America. Anna is out on the second elimination? We talked about this. We agreed this was her year. We had a deal! So, other than the way that we as a people voted incorrectly, everybody turned out to be quite good and we got some heartbreaking stories. This time, we’re going to turn it around with Rock Week.
We open with performance from KISS, and while I have a soft spot for aggressively stupid rock music, I hate KISS. Partly because Gene Simmons is disgusting, partly because of everything else about them. These guys are in their 60s now, you know. And yet, the greasepaint remains. Also, do you think Ace Frehley is sad that he never came up with a gimmick? My friend Sean reminds me, often, that Ace is from Outer Space, but so is Paul “Starchild”Stanley. Poor guy. I also once read a book of music trivia, and in the KISS section one of their factoids, presented as indisputable, was “Without makeup, Ace is the ugliest member of the band”. That’s stayed with me for years.