I’m just going to throw this out there …I haven’t liked Dale (Old Man, not be be confused with Old Hillbilly) since Day 1 of Survivor. Sometimes old men can be charming and folksy and they come with all this wisdom and patience that they’ve learned over a lifetime, but sometimes they’re like Dale …high strung with a little bit of insecurity and some regret baked in. He strikes me as a know-it-all who really doesn’t know much about anything.

Then again, wasn’t he the guy who broke his glasses to start a fire from the sun’s rays? So maybe I won’t trash him entirely. And there’s alot more to talk about from last night than whether Dale has ever yelled at a teenager at the check-out counter of a fast-food restaurant or large retail store who can’t count change or figure out what to do when Dale pays cash and gives the guy $10.06 when the prices comes to $8.81. And the fact that teenage stares blankly and confusedly when that happens proves to Dale that America is going to hell in a hand basket.

Yes. I think Dale is that guy.

At least Dale isn’t on the idiot tribe …aka the blue tribe. The tribe that traded all their stuff, last night, for rice. Idiots. Brutal. I maybe touched on this last week, but CBS isn’t going to let anyone starve to death. This isn’t the real life hunger games. But the only guy on the tribe who agreed with me that trading everything for a bag of rice, probably only a few days before the merge and food no longer becomes a variable to consider, wisely kept his mouth shut lest he be labeled as a know-it-all and angry-old-man and put a target on his back. But, for the purposes of this recap …Jeremy was right.

Loved how Jeremy was appalled by the Gay Guys’s public displays of affection (P.D.A.s), but not because he has anything against their sexual preference, but mostly because it’s annoying to watch couples constantly groping and kissing each other. I mean, hey, we all love someone, but I’m like Jeremy …put me and my wife on Survivor and you’d think our marriage is on the rocks. P.D.A.s annoy other people and on Survivor, it’s going to make you a target.  

But doesn’t it just make sense the Gay Guys are on the idiot tribe, then? Because, of course, the next challenge was for food. And true to form, the blue tribe won again! They won in a route …navigating a course while blindfolded and then building a puzzle. Yup. The tribe that traded everything away?  They won like they always do. And Reed (one-half of the gay couple) cried. Relax, buddy.  

Maybe Jeremy made one mistake …he could’ve at least tried or brought up the idea that, hey, we always win so, um, maybe before we trade everything away, let’s wait until the challange. If it’s not for food and we don’t win …well, then let’s trade away our rice. He wouldn’t have necessarily had to belabor the point or go overboard about it, but maybe group think would’ve prevailed and then that very same night when the sky opened up and it rained cats and dogs, they would’ve had a tarp and shelter, still.

Seriously, it rained so hard, it was like CBS has the ability to control the weather because it just so happened to rain like that on the same night they gave away all their stuff? I’m onto you CBS? Can you make it nice weather for Halloween tomorrow? I gotta walk around the neighborhood with my kids and I’m hearing it’s gonna be 40 degrees. Are you reading this, CBS? Just throwin’ it out there.

OK. Jeremy. Either way (whether Jeremy acts bossy or plays it cool), Jeremy is still in a good spot and is poised to go far. He’s very cool and collected. Doesn’t blow to hot or cold. He’s found a nice footing. He’s got an alliance. He doesn’t have enemies. I’m rooting for him.

Following the reward challenge, Reed picked John Rocker’s girlfriend for Exile Island but in a twist, Natalie (one of the Amazing Race Twins) actually volunteered. And then I have to give her credit …once she got to Exile Island, she actually had a plan and was thinking about the merge. She even went so far as to say the strategy is more important than the food reward.

So now I have to start liking Natalie (aka Amazing Race Twin)? Crap!

Back at orange tribe, Old Man (Dale) was busy showing his fake immunity idol to everyone – well, he showed it to John (aka Ken Doll). John spread the word and the alliance had to rethink their strategy, but in the end, it was going to be either Old Man or Old Hillbilly and there was a way they could all vote and make sure one of the Olds would be gone, regardless of who played or had an idol. Old Hillbilly dodged a bullet. He should’ve played his idol. It goes back to the #1 rule of Survivor …if nobody is talking strategy with you, you’re on the outside, dude.

“‘I’m a meat collector.”  -Handsome Brother

John Rockers girlfriend was quite impressed with herself because she was able to bounce back from a pretty major emotional meltdown. It rained. And she curled up in the fetal position and wanted to quit. But Jeremy used Jedi mind tricks to convince her to be tough and stick with it, and so she did. But she gave herself credit. Soooooooo like a hot chick. Nobody has ever really talked down to her or put her in her place. So she thinks crying and then stopping crying is like a major accomplishment. And she didn’t even need her Prozac or Zoloft.

She should write a motivational book …Surviving Life with a Public Enemy as a Boyfriend and Sometimes Having a Bad Hair Day.

Oh, and then the blue tribe won immunity with a big come from behind win. Yawn. Orange tribe sucks sooooo bad.

Old Guy (Dale) tried an even more aggressive move once he knew they were going to tribal council …he told John if they don’t vote for him, he’d give them his immunity idol … which is fake. And John had his suspicions. The idol didn’t exactly look like an idol and that’s a kinda weird move, if you think about it. If you have an idol, you just plan on playing it and say you’re going to play it. You don’t benefit in any way by giving it away or offering it up. Let’s think this through …let’s say it was a real idol and they all agreed, OK, we won’t vote for Dale (Old Guy). Then, in this hypothetical scenario, when they get back to camp, he gives them his idol, and now he’s an open target (whom they all wanted gone, anyway). What’s the benefit?

Seriously. Describe a scenario where giving away your idol can help?

Back to what actually went down …the alliance followed the plan and Dale went home.

Next week …they merge. Woo hoo! And, again, even if Dale had squeaked by, I don’t know how giving away a real or fake idol would’ve helped him. Well …maybe I can see that in a merge scenario, the cranky old man wouldn’t be a target anymore.

Hmmm. I’m a complete hypocrite. But, remember, I didn’t like Dale.

And that’s Week 6. In Survivor time, it means 18 days have passed and there’s 21 more days ahead of this cast.

My pick to win? Jeremy. Followed closely by Natalie. My dark horse pick? Hillbilly Son. I just have a hunch on that guy.

Who’s your pick to win? Who’s your favorite? What did I miss? What did I get wrong?

Thanks for reading. See you next week.

Follow me at @donkowalewski or spunkybean a @spunkybean.

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