Last night’s Survivor epitomized why we all still love this show and it could stay on TV forever. I don’t know what CBS called the episode, but it should’ve been entitled “Crash and Burn”, because that’s what Handsome-Napping-Guy (aka Drew) and Tolerant Hillbilly did. I’ve never seen anyone do what Drew did …from non-entity to idiotic villain in under an hour.

I guess I assume that everybody going on Survivor has a general sketch and outline of a plan on how they expect to advance. And that they know what sorta moves you make pre-merge and post-merge. What we had with Drew was a pure space cadet. If he had just kept his mouth shut and been non-threatening in any way he would’ve easily made it to the merge. He had a solid all-male alliance, that had some cracks in it–cracks that didn’t include him–and he could have capitalized on that. Instead he woke up one morning from one of his many naps and thought he was the next Russell Hantz.

Or maybe he brought a secret stash of cocaine onto the show and did a bump.

The show opened with the usual reward challenge and pitted football player John against his girlfriend Miss Michigan. It was closer than I thought it would be at the start, but John ended up winning. John sent tribemate Drew (Sleepy Handsome Brother) to Exile Island with Miss Michigan.

So Miss Michigan and Drew went off to exile Island. I was still having trouble telling the Handsome Brothers apart but last night was all about Handsome Brother Drew. Though they did try and trip me up by also showing Hard-Working Brother bullying some chick on his tribe.

Both were setting themselves up for elimination if their tribe has lost immunity. Luckily, Napping Handsome Bro threw his challenge for his tribe.

Not wanting to leave all the big moments to the Handsome Brothers, Hillbilly Dad with Mustache decided to turn on his fireman brethren Jeremy (The Black Guy) and start telling everybody that Jeremy had an Immunity  Idol. Hillbilly with a mustache was just lucky that Drew decided to implode.

Has there ever been an episode where a guy who was so far off the radar did so many things in the course of one hour so as to destroy his reputation, his game, and get voted off? Last night was history making.

Back to Drew.  He got competitive with his tribe to the point he was threatening and unbearable. He threw the challenge in order to start weeding out the losers. He was so wrong in his choice to vote out that skinny blonde that everyone saw it as a bad idea, but he would not give. And at the end when his torch was extinguished, he hilariously said, “well played everyone.” No …poorly played on your part. You were the obvious choice to vote off based on your behavior.

Oh, and CBS, you cheeky monkey. You showed us previews for next week and it looks like Football-Player-Guy (John) goes crazy and starts yelling at his tribe, but I could see he was just doing his best Drew impersonation. There’s a 10% chance that was actually John going crazy and not a Drew impersonation. And this makes me a little mad. Survivor used to tease us with real footage, but if this theory of mine holds true, this will be the second time they’ve teased us with footage this season that will be completely out of context and outside the true narrative of the season. I’m not saying CBS needs to show us who extinguishes their torch next week, but they could at least give us something real and genuine to wonder about. I mean, I’m watching with my 11-year-old and when she sees a preview like that, she gets all excited about how John is going to flip out next week, and she’s just too young and innocent to understand what she saw was fake.

I’ll always remember Drew for a one-episode implosion. Or am I forgetting a former contestant with a similar meltdown??

Thanks for reading. See you next week.

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