The Bachelor Episode 4: Blondes vs. Brunettes – The Battle Rages On!

For those of you who have faithfully been reading my articles week after week, sorry but you will have to skim through yet another explanation of the rules.  For the rest of you infidels, shame on you for not keeping up…. but here are the rules anyhow.  Every week, I will be award points to either Team Brown or Team Yellow based off of a totally biased set of rules which will be used to determine if Brad is more into blondes or brunettes.  This of course, ultimately giving us the definitive answer to the age old questions, “do men prefer blondes or brunettes?”.  Once again here are your players:

Team Yellow: Ashley H, Ashley S, Britt, Emily
Team Brown: Alli, Chantal, Jackie, Lisa, Marissa, Michelle, Shawntel

As you can see the teams are stacked in Brown’s favor, however, as I myself am part of Team Yellow (and as I mentioned am totally biased) this actually helps to even the score slightly…..

+1 Team Brown- Shawntel goes on a shopping spree
And we’re not talking just any shopping spree here.  This isn’t your Express & J. Crew type free for all…. this is a shopping spree that has only before been seen in the likes of Pretty Woman.  Shawntel walked out of that high end Vegas mall with more bags than her deceased corpse embalming hands could hold and one of them alone carried a $5000 purse.  I almost want to give her another point for just being awesome and completely herself on this date, something I myself have no ability to do but then my biased self wouldn’t want to put Team Yellow that deep into the hole.

-1 Team Yellow- The 2 Ashleys are served the dreaded 2 on 1 date card
While Shawntel was off making the first move on Brad (awesome) the 2 Ashley were finding out they would soon become 1.  The date card revealed these 2 friend would go head to head vying for one rose.  Either way you slice it another blonde was about to bite the dust.

-1000 Team ??- Bachelor Producers are a bunch of d-bags
Wish I knew who came up with the idea to make Emily’s group date one where she goes race car driving.  Is it just me, or was that more than in poor taste?  Luckily, I don’t know the hair color of this Bachelor Exec so they’ll get off easy this time.

+1 Team Yellow- Emily makes all 7 members of Team Brown cry
Well Team Brown may have more players, but Team Yellow, has a secret weapon… and her name is Emily.  So far this Southern Belle has yet to do an ounce of wrong in Brad’s eyes.  On the group date at the Las Vegas race track, Emily revealed her long and heartbreaking history with the sport and her deceased fiance’s past.  Brad proceeded to give her extra special attention throughout the night much to the rest of the ladies’ chagrin.  When called out he simply said that had anyone else been in the same situation he would have done the same thing.  I disagree.  I think he’s into Emily because she’s hard to get.  Despite the verbalized disappointment (and the tears) of Team Brown, Brad still decided to give Emily the only rose on this date.

-1 Team Brown- Chantal slips the L word
Oh how quickly they fall.  In one episode this chick went from being front runner to the girl Brad’s running from.  It’s clear that Brad’s starting to realize that Chantal is high maintenance drama (sorry Don).  Perhaps the crying followed immediately by laughing and then an accidental “I love you” tipped him off to that.

+1 Team Brown- Alli gets a rose?
Somehow Alli slides by another week without being remotely pretty or interesting, and never having had a one on one date.  Kudos my friend, don’t know how you’re doing it, but you did it.  I would have kept Lisa… or Marissa or Ashley S for that matter!

Final Score:
Team Brown: 1
Team Yellow: 0

So there you have it amidst all my finagling of the numbers Team Brown still ends up on top.  But in the end, the final rose (and the final answer) will not be up to me but Brad alone so stay tuned…..

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