I hate Vienna.

But all of that doesn’t matter. Tens of millions of people watch The Bachelor and ABC each week and all they know about Jake is, “he’s an abusive boyfriend and he was horrible to Vienna.”

Now we learn, the only thing Jake is really guilty of, probably, is being a “stiff.” Kind of a dork who just happens to be really handsome. Think Ames, but not quite as robotic – but close.

So there Jake was, two years into all this nonsense and he’s a million miles away from the simple life as a pilot he was living before he sent in his audition tape and he just wishes he could go back in time and NOT DO IT. People are snickering behind his back. Pointing at him at malls and restaurants, and then he gets the call while eating at some swank L.A. restaurant and is asked… “wanna go on Bachelor Pad,” to which he probably said, “look, I don’t know how you got this number, you son of a bitch, but I told your producers and (Chris) Harrison’s people I never want to hear the letters A-, B-, or C- again and you’ve ruined my fuh- …mm hmmm. What’s that? Vienna will be on, too? Oh, wait …yes. I’ll do it.”

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