But now, ya know what, I’m thinking it will stop. He was so boring and so helpless for these past four weeks, he and William (yes, I’m bringing William “I wish Ashley was someone else and had bigger boobs” into this) should get their own show and call it The Boring Bachelors and the twist will be, each week, the girls have to make up reasons they should be sent home and William and Jake have to try and pick the best fake-story (“I have to wash my hair”, “I just got a call that my nanna is not doing well”, or “if I don’t go home now, my employer said they’d terminate me” …boo hoo hoo). I’d watch. You’d watch. Chris Harrison would host. ABC? Call me.

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