It’s a bit of a weird TV week this time out – a lot of repeats, some big football game, the State of the Union address. There’s still lots of good stuff, but you’re not really going to have to worry about DVR pileups. After this week, we’ve got Winter Olympics which pretty much takes NBC off the schedule board for a bit. And that saves me valuable schedule-writing time that I can use to go back and replay the Mass Effect trilogy.
I did not see any movies to talk about this week, but I started re-watching Get a Life, which I haven’t seen in years. Holy cats, that show is basically perfect. I’ll probably talk more about that later, though. But for now, watching Get a Life is recommended.
Here’s what you’ll be watching this week!
10-10:30 ARCHER – I honestly can’t come up with a joke that’s going to top the second line of the official listing: ‘Pam makes a deal that puts everyone in danger; Archer dons his slightly darker black suit’. Sort of wish I could end the schedule right here, because the FX listing just dropped the mic.
10:30-11 RICK AND MORTY – Rick helps Morty woo the girl of his dreams. On this show, that “dream” thing could be literal. I kind of hope it is, because Rick should not be allowed any sort of involvement in the love life of an actual person.
I know this is usually a busy night, but the State of the Union address starts at 9 on the four major networks, and the 8:00 shows I usually list are repeats. There’s a new episode of Supernatural, though. The CW can’t afford to put a microphone on the podium, after all.
10-11 JUSTIFIED – Raylan heads out to find a missing informant and Boyd’s last living relative threatens his life and livelihood. Presumably, there will also be scenes of Dewey Crowe not understanding things. Those are my favorites.
10-10:30 COUGARTOWN – They go to a pirate’s cove for “Buccaneer Week” and Laurie bakes naughty cakes. I feel like the number of TV episodes that are about erotic cakes far outstrip the number of actual outlets for erotic cakes.
10:30-11 KROLL SHOW – Armond is under house arrest for his wife’s murder, the Rich Dicks deliver a eulogy, and a geologist explains rocks. Presumably that will be a new character and not just a mid-episode science lesson.
8-10 AMERICAN IDOL – Auditions in Salt Lake City. Young people sing, Jennifer Lopez remembers the days when she was a movie star. You know the drill.
10-11 NASHVILLE – Juliette refuses to apologize for her behavior at the Grand Ole Opry, and Rayna gets involved in NASCAR. This is the folksiest listing I’ve ever written!
10-11 TOP CHEF – The season moves to Hawaii as the chefs take on Spam in the Quickfire. I love that they had to go to Hawaii for that. Where else are they going to find Spam????
8-8:30 COMMUNITY – Annie prepares the cafeteria for the midterm dance and…. you know what? Never mind. All indications point to an Annie-centric episode and that’s the only thing I need to hear.
8:30-9 PARKS AND RECREATION – Leslie throws a goodbye party for Ann and Chris, and why is this happening one week after Troy left? I only have so many tears to shed!
9-11 SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE SPORTS SPECTACULAR – A collection of sports-themed sketches. Hopefully it’s stuff like “Little Chocolate Donuts” and not “Episodes that had an athlete as host”.
8-9 AMERICAN IDOL – Auditions in Omaha. I hope they have an episode with auditions in Portland, but they get confused and some people go to Oregon and others go to Maine. I would watch that episode!
9-10 RAKE – Greg Kinnear represents Amish bakers accused of attempted murder. I haven’t seen the first episode yet, but it already sounds like they’re banging the “quirky” drum pretty hard.
10-10:30 THE SPOILS OF BABYLON – The forbidden love between Devon and Cynthia becomes too much to handle, and Cynthia’s son takes over the family business. It doesn’t sound hilarious, but it totally will be. I promise.
9:30-10 RAISING HOPE – Howdy’s hosts contestants around the world for the International Grocery Game. Hey, FOX? You should be doing Super Bowl episodes, not Olympics episodes. I mean, just from a corporate synergy standpoint.
11:30-1 am SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE – Melissa McCarthy hosts! She’s reliably good, so I approve. The musical guest is Imagine Dragons. I don’t think I’ve heard their music, but I hate their stupid name. Stupid, stupid name.
6:30-10ish SUPER BOWL – The one time a year when I list a sporting event! Last year’s game was the one where there was a blackout, right? And the halftime show was…. terrible? I don’t remember. Was it the one with the Black Eyed Peas? I don’t know. The point is, we’re all ready for some football!
10:30-11 NEW GIRL – You’ll want to allow yourself some extra time on the DVR for this one, just in case. Turns out, they don’t end football games just because the time slot dictates. Anyway, Prince appears on this episode as himself. That’s nuts, right? It might actually be better if he played a character, like he were a high school teacher or something.
11-11:30 BROOKLYN NINE-NINE – Jake and Amy investigate a string of hotel robberies, while Terry works with Holt to make the precinct more efficient. I don’t know if there are any big stars appearing to befit a post-Super Bowl berth, but if you need more than Terry Crews and Andre Braugher, life will be a string of disappointments for you.
10-11 SHERLOCK – Season Finale! Hey, why is this a short episode? Are they breaking it up into a two-parter? Also, there’s apparently a big event in this one that everybody in England is trying not to spoil. SO MANY QUESTIONS!
“I gotta be honest here, OK? I think you psychologists are all a bunch of phony, two-faced, hypocritical eggheads who talk people into unnecessary liver transplants and second-story additions to their houses, OK? So don’t expect me to tell you anything. Because, my dear Mrs. Frankenstein, you are the enemy.” — Chris Peterson
“I’ve seen three movies in my life: Bridge on the River Kwai, Platroon, and Herbie: Fully Loaded. My girlfriend’s kids love it. It’s pretty funny.” — Ron Swanson