It is very late as I write this. The only thing you really need to know is that The Tick returns this week. It’s all I care about. I’m so very tired.
Here’s what to watch on TV this week!
10-11 Into the Badlands – Sunny and Nix seek information to destroy Pilgrim. And here’s a spoilee – it’s actually Scott Pilgrim. That is almost definitely not true. It’s not true. I don’t know why I said “almost definitely”, as if there’s maybe a chance that this thing I made up is correct.
9-10 This Is Us – SEASON FINALE! Randall and Beth consider how to move forward and other storylines that don’t involve Sterling K. Brown also move forward.
10-10:30 At Home with Amy Sedaris – It’s a Halloween episode! I am assuming that from the title, which is “Halloween”. It may be a celebration of the movie franchise, in which case it’s a Halloween episode. Formatting is important.
10:30-11 The Last O.G. – SEASON PREMIERE! Tracy Morgan returns in the show that proved he could play a character who isn’t Tracy Morgan. I mean, he’s not not Tracy, but there are some different shades there. Point is, he does a good job.
8-9 Survivor – No information available! Man, I just hit a wall right here. I’m tired of saying things about Survivor. I’ve got nothing. What am I going to do? Talk about how Wardog is a doofus and he’s dumb for insiting that people call him that? I’ve done that. I think this is my midlife crisis.
8-8:30 The Goldbergs – OK, it’s been two hours since I wrote the Survivor entry. I’m back in the game. We’ve got a Spinal Tap episode, and it always seems weird that Adam’s parents let him watch R-rated movies.
8:30-9 Schooled – Lainey wants to push the cheer team to competing in Bring It On style regional competitions. I can not remember a single Bring It On reference at this moment, so I have really dropped the ball.
9-9:30 Modern Family – Claire attempts to say “yes” more often. She should get into wrestling and specifically the work of Daniel Bryan. I think that reference works. Let’s move on.
9:30-10 Single Parents – There is some confusion about who is throwing an Ozzfest-themed party for whom. This does not sound at all relatable!
10-11 Whiskey Cavalier – The team needs to take down a human trafficking network, which seems a little bit less lighthearted than this show’s sweet spot.
10-11 Happy! – Hailey spends a day with her dad, which seems like a terrible idea. Does nobody realize how much violence she’ll be exposed too? Also, the blood floor in the season premiere was the dumbest and funniest thing. I love this show.
10-10:30 What We Do in the Shadows – The vampires get involved in local politics as their first step to world domination. Hee! The premiere of this show was very funny and you should watch it. Or you can be a chump all your life. I can’t tell you how to be.
10-10:30 Brockmire – SEASON PREMIERE! Brockmire gets sober and announces for the Oakland A’s. Neither of those two statuses will last and I assume they’ll fall apart in that order.
8:30-9 A.P. Bio – Jack attempts to use a murder mystery party to impress Lynette. First off, last week’s episode was pre-empted locally by coverage of the President’s rally where he claimed the Great Lakes were known for “record deepness”. Second, I would very much like to be invited to a murder mystery party.
9:30-10 Abby’s – Abby and Bill clash over a change to the bar rules. I liked the premiere of this weirdly structured show and I’m looking forward to future episodes that don’t have so much dang exposition.
9-10 In the Dark – SERIES PREMIERE! This is a dark comedy about a blind woman who’s the only witness to the murder of her drug dealer. I’m intrigued by this one, even if CW shows almost always disappoint me in practice.
10-10:40 Better Things – Guys? I refuse to type the terrible episode description of this one. I might actually cancel my cable over it. You can look this one up yourself, but I’m staying out of it.
8-10 Crazy Ex-Girlfriend – SERIES FINALE! Rebecca makes a big decision to wrap up the series. I feel like this season has been strong and they’ve got a chance to go out on a high note. Will I cry? Probably.
The Tick – Season Two! I’m so excited for this. This was one of my favorite shows last year and now the Tick and Arthur are going off in a new direction and adding John Hodgman to the cast. Yes, I know Shazam is opening today, but that’s going to have to wait. I’m on Team Tick. Spoooon!
11:30-1 am Saturday Night Live – Kit Harington hosts! That’s right, Jon Snow is here to promote Game of Thrones because that’s kind of been flying under the radar.
8-8:30 The Simpsons – Marge produces a local version of something resembling Hamilton. They’re totally going to get Lin-Manuel Miranda for this, right?
10-11 Good Girls – Turner targets Ruby and Stan and Beth settles into a new role. I have to say, I appreciate this show creating a shared universe with Superstore. Nobody really makes that effort anymore, and it makes me happy.
AMC / BBC AMERICA
8-9 Killing Eve – SEASON PREMIERE! Last year’s most talked-about show returns and it’s so rad that two different stations will be airing it at the same time!
10-10:30 Barry – No information available! My DVR is missing a lot of programming blocks for some reason, but I’m too tired to check a second source!
10:30-11 Veep – Also no information available! I’m so very tired!
“Just remember, every time you look up at the moon, I, too, will be looking up at the moon. Not the same moon, obviously. That’s impossible.” — Andy Dwyer
“I can’t leave Randy with my mom all day. She’ll feed him Funyuns and Fresca and government conspiracies.” — Debbie Eagan