Hi all!

Summer is winding down and we’ve still got weeks before the new fall season, so the schedule is going to be light. I have no idea what I’ll do when it suddenly gets busy again and I have to devote significant time to making dumb jokes.

Here’s what to watch on TV this week!

MONDAY

NBC

8-10 American Ninja Warrior – The National Finals in Las Vegas begin! Boy, that’s how you know Summer is coming to an end. And there’s so much I didn’t do. I didn’t go to the beach or play volleyball or have a torrid affair with a vacationing foreigner. I mean, I don’t to any of that ever, but it feels like I’m missing my chance for this year.

AMC

9-10 The Terror: Infamy – Chester finds a way to provide for his family and fend off the evil forces that follow him. Chester is multitasking like a mofo! Also, this show is great and heartbreaking and it deserves better than me using the word “mofo”.

10-11 Lodge 49 – No information available, so let’s talk about how surprised I was to see Bronson Pinchot on this show. Upon seeing him, I thought “They must have shot this before he died”, and the thing is, Bronson Pinchot is alive. But he departed on The Leftovers, and I briefly confused that show with real life. So things are going great for me.

 

TUESDAY

Nothing going on tonight! At least if you’re me. You might like shows I don’t watch. You probably do. I guess you’ll have to make your own schedule for that.

 

WEDNESDAY

CBS

8-9 Big Brother – Veto Night! I am baffled as to how Christie survived eviction last week. I mean, she called out Nick and that somehow convinced everybody that they needed Christie in the house so she and Nick would be one another’s targets. It’s not like a Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah situation – anybody can nominate either Nick or Christie for eviction. You don’t need a dedicated person exclusively to remove them. These people make odd choices when they don’t get any outside stimuli for months.

FOX

8-9 Hell’s Kitchen – Loved One Immunity Challenge! My sister reminded me of that time on Top Chef when they did this and Richard Blais’ loved one was his uncle who was not especially happy to be there. It’s very sad in one way, but hysterical in another way.

 

THURSDAY

CBS

9-10 Big Brother – Live Eviction! Maybe a double eviction? They didn’t announce it on Thursday’s episode, but sometimes they wait until Sunday for that. But we haven’t one yet and the numbers indicate we’re going to need one before the end of the season.

 

FRIDAY

DISCOVERY

8-10 BattleBots – No information available! I really like that they’re not starting the televised season with the Top 16 this year. When they do, we keep hearing that these are the best in the field, but we see eight of them lose their first match, so we don’t see evidence of them being good. But this year, seeing the preliminaries is a little move involving because when we get to Top 16, we’ve seen all of them already do well so there’s more investment. Good move!

AMAZON

Carnival Row – To be honest, this looks like very generic Victorian fantasy, but Amazon is promoting it heavily so I’d feel remiss if I didn’t include it. It is now included.

NETFLIX

Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance – A follow-up series to the Jim Henson movie that freaked you out as a kid. This thing looks gorgeous – Sam and I were trying to figure out which parts of the trailer were puppetry and which were CGI, and it’s all puppetry! This is going to be a visual spectacle even if, like me, you barely remember anything about the movie.

 

SUNDAY

CBS

8-9 Big Brother – Nominations! I never have anything to say about the Sunday installments because they’re three episodes into the future and I can’t even guess at where we’ll be by then.

AMC 9-10 Fear the Walking Dead – Charlie finds a lone Rabbi while looking for a place for the convoy. You know, there’s this story about how Kevin Can Wait had two writers’ rooms and they were separated by politics. Conservatives in one room, liberals in the other. And that sounds insane and probably is the reason why that show didn’t make it. I feel like they did a similar thing with the Walking Dead franchise, only they went to different shows. Basically, I’m saying that there’s one show where when a stranger reaches out they ask “How can we help?” and one where you know they’ll end up killing that stranger in the midseason finale, and I only like one of them.

10-11 Preacher – The countdown to apocalypse ticks on while Cassidy and Tulip try to find Jesse. Boy, this show really suffers in comparison to The Boys – both are adapted from Garth Ennis comics and both took serious liberties with the source material (and the two shows share producers). And The Boys is great while this is fine to good, and it’s very frustrating.

HBO

10-10:30 The Righteous Gemstones – No information available! This show is great and I hope you’ll watch it.

 

“All I wanted was to make obscene profits in the last year of my life and leave it to no one. Why does God hate dreamers?” — Mr. Burns

 

“You think I’m bothered by a little spilled milkshake? I’m a food blogger! I’m stained all over!” — Charles Boyle

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