Hi all!

 

Hey, this week we’ve got the returns of Better Call Saul and Wrecked and the premiere of the interesting-looking Lodge 49. After TV kind of dropped the ball in July, things are really starting to come together. I’m sorry I ever doubted you, TV!

It’s late, and I’m tired. So let me just say that Christopher Robin is a very good movie if you want to hear Peter Capaldi voice a rabbit or if you want to cry a lot for reasons that are hard to explain. I mean, I’ve never put work ahead of my (non-existent) children, so it’s not like I really identified with the main arc, but I was still a weepy mess.

Here’s what to watch on TV this week!

MONDAY

NBC

8-10 American Ninja Warrior – Indianapolis City Finals! That’s the venue closest to me, so when I get super jacked but also nimble over the next year, that’s the episode where you can expect to see me.

AMC

9-10:05 Better Call Saul – SEASON PREMIERE! Man, there is big spoilee right in the episode listing. It’s something they’ve been pretty open about, but I have friends who read this who don’t follow entertainment reporting so things will still be a surprise to them. That means I have nothing to say except that I’m super excited for this season.

10:05-11:15 Lodge 49 – SERIES PREMIERE! I’m not really clear on what this show is about because the ads are very abstract but it kind of looks like modern magical realism about a fraternal lodge. AMC has a great track record, so I’ll check it out.

 

TUESDAY

NBC

10-11 Making It – I found this show completely charming last week. It’s light and silly and it gets that Great British Baking Show vibe that I didn’t think an American show could replicate. Also, Nick Offerman’s giggle is the best thing available to us in this world.

ABC

10-11 Castaways – SERIES PREMIERE! This is a new reality competition that is like Survivor except it looks like they pretend they’re in actually danger, like that dumb show from a couple of years ago. Was it called The Island?

TBS

10-10:30 Wrecked – SEASON PREMIERE! Yeah! After two seasons of LOST parody (with plenty of new stuff), they break with that show in a big way where the survivors end up on a different island where a deranged millionaire wants them to fight for their lives. I love this show very much.

 

WEDNESDAY

CBS

8-9 Big Brother – So, I’m dealing with the fact that now I like Brett who seemed like the most boring possible bro at first. But now he’s got a weird sense of humor and a near-sociopathic disregard for the difference between truth and lies and, well, he’s bringing some interesting strategy to the table if nothing else.

FOX

8-9 MasterChef – The judges cook along the chefs for dishes that involve a deep-fried element. Oh, we are going to see some county fair stuff happening here.

9-10 Gordon Ramsay’s 24 Hours to Hell and Back – Hey, this week they do Patrick Molloy’s, a California restaurant that I heard about on a podcast recently. They were talking about how it got a Gordon Ramsay makeover, and I wish I could remember what show it was. Maybe Doughboys or Never Not Funny? Those seem the most likely.

USA

10-11 The Sinner – Yeah, this is a cool show to watch immediately before bed and will not leave you unsettled and restless. Just those graphic poisoning deaths that open the show. Cool. Cool cool cool.

TRUTV

10-10:30 Bobcat Goldthwait’s Misfits and Monsters – A boy meets a girl who is half fish. I’m kinda hoping that, like Fry said, it’s the other kind of mermaid with the lady parts on the bottom.

 

THURSDAY
CBS

9-10 Big Brother – Live eviction! This has been the year for angry exits, so let’s see who leaves in a huff and refuses to speak to anybody this week!

COMEDY CENTRAL

10:30-11 Detroiters – Tim and Sam end up with a big time client – Little Caesar’s. Man, they never mention real brands – is actual Michigan company Little Caesar’s going along with it? Also, I feel like there are parts of the country where they don’t have Little Caesar’s, though apparently they have more locations than Papa John’s, so maybe they’re properly national now. If you live somewhere that isn’t Michigan, let me know if you have easy access to a Little Caesar’s!

 

FRIDAY

Please note, today The Meg arrives in theaters. In this movie, Jason Statham fights the world’s biggest shark. The Oscar race begins here.

PBS

9-10 The Great British Baking Show – We’re down to four bakers and now they have to make perfect petit fours which I know for a fact my dad spelled “pettifores” back when he ran a bakery and also back when I could still prove he existed.

 

SUNDAY

CBS
8-9 Big Brother – Nominations! Also maybe that new twist that they didn’t explain last week. Because the twists introduced midseason always work out really well and have a tangible effect on gameplay. That was sarcasm.

HBO

9-10 Sharp Objects – Richard probes for details about Camille’s dark past, which means this episode is going to be a bummer and make me feel bad inside. Probably still very good, but it’ll make my tummy hurt.

AMC

9-10 Fear the Walking Dead – MID-SEASON PREMIERE! The good Walking Dead show returns as they pick up the pieces after losing the stadium and Madison.

10-11 Preacher – There’s a conspiracy to steal souls in New Orleans and Osaka in order to save the world. Man, this show goes off on some weird tangents.

ADULT SWIM

12-12:30 am The Venture Bros. – Wide Wale takes the Monarch prisoner. Whether it’s because of his crimes against the Guild or if Wale is just tired of his nonsense isn’t clear yet. And I will stay up very late to watch this even though I am now an old man.

 

“If we can’t have a sense of humor about you being the Messiah, we’re going to have a problem.” — Nora Durst

 

“Aw, man I was hoisted by my own petard. The one petard I never thought would hoist me!” — Todd Sanchez

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