Hi all!

So, it’s Thanksgiving week and that means a lot of shows are taking a vacation. The big events are the miniseries The Little Drummer Girl on AMC and a new batch of Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes hitting Netflix on Thanksgiving. And, of course, there’s my annual celebration of Cranksgiving, when I watch both Crank movies on Thanksgiving day. For if we are not thankful for Chev Chelios, are we truly thankful for anything?

Here’s what to watch on TV this week!

MONDAY

ABC

8-10 Dancing with the Stars – SEASON FINALE! Man, I still don’t know how the couple with perfect scores was eliminated last week. I’ve never seen the judges look so mad. And Len was all like “the public gets to vote but sometimes they’re wrong” and, yeah, we know. It’s a sore subject.

NBC

10-11 Manifest – Ben and Vance team up to find the missing passengers from Flight 828, and one of the non-missing passengers decides he’s the Angel of Death.

AMC

9-11:35 The Little Drummer Girl – SERIES PREMIERE! Remember The Night Manager and how great that was? Well, AMC is doing another John Le Carre adaptation and one of the stars is Michael Shannon who’s pretty much my favorite. I’m not familiar with this story, but history tells us that AMC + Le Carre = My Jam.

 

TUESDAY

NBC

9-10 This Is Us – The Pearsons have an unconventional Thanksgiving dinner, and also celebrate Thanksgiving in the past. If all you know about this show is what you’ve seen in TV listings, it might sound like the whole cast is unstuck in time like Billy Pilgrim in Cat’s Cradle.

AMC

9-11:40 The Little Drummer Girl – That’s right, it’s a miniseries airing on three consecutive nights. I get weirdly excited about that kind of format because I remember all the promotion for, like, James Clavell’s Shogun. Or any of those other James Clavell productions. It’s weird how comparatively little you hear about James Clavell now as compared to in the eighties.

TBS

10:30-11 The Guest Book – Clem asks a stripper to pretend to be his girlfriend in order to convince his family that he’s normal. More importantly, there’s a character named “Captain Preposterous”.

 

WEDNESDAY

CBS

8-9 Survivor – It’s the end of a showmance! And I do not like Survivor using that Big Brother term. Is somebody going to get backdoored next? Will Probst introduce himself as “Jeff Probst-Moonves”?

NBC

8-9 Hollywood Game Night – SEASON PREMIERE! One of the combatants this week is going to play Crazy Jane on the Doom Patrol series. And this is as good a place as any to mention that I watched the Titans episode that introduced the Patrol. Because I love the Doom Patrol that much. And the stuff with the Titans was bad and mean-spirited, but the Doom Patrol stuff was really enjoyable despite the janky effects. And the series is going to have Timothy Dalton as the Chief, recasting the dude who played him on Titans. That means Dalton will have been a Doctor Who villain, a James Bond, and a member of the Doom Patrol and that might make him the greatest actor of all time.

9-11 A Saturday Night Live Thanksgiving – I hope this is just two hours of that family who feeds one another like birds.

ABC

8-9 A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving – Hey, it’s the Peanuts gang in a lesser but still pretty fun holiday outing! Change it as soon as the original is over so you don’t have to see that weird newer bonus cartoon that tries to teach history. It’s very bad.

AMC

9-11:40 The Little Drummer Girl – SERIES FINALE! Hey, you think I’m going out on the biggest bar night of the year? No ma’am, I will be glued to the couch watching international intrigue.

IFC

10-11 Stan Against Evil – SEASON FINALE! A hospital turns demonic during Stan’s prostate exam, which is why, despite being a man over the age of 40, I don’t go to the doctor. I’m probably fine. Also, Haurus demands that Stan kill Evie in retribution for killing Constable Eccles which means we’re in for a mythology cliffhanger.

 

THURSDAY

Happy Thanksgiving!

FOX

8-10 MasterChef Junior: Celebrity Showdown – Celebrities and gifted chef children cook in competitions. It’s confusing. Let it go.

NETFLIX

Mystery Science Theater 3000 – Six new episodes hit today! And it’s important to note that the movies include the recent mockbuster Atlantic Rim and the McDonald’s-sponsored E.T. ripoff, Mac and Me. Watch it to put Paul Rudd’s Conan clip in perspective!

 

FRIDAY

Hey, it’s the 55th anniversary of Doctor Who! I assume Chris Chibnall will acknowledge that sometime next week. (I assure you, this is funny.) Beyond that, tonight is pretty much mostly Christmas specials and sports.

 

SUNDAY

FOX

8-8:30 The Simpsons – OK, this one might end up hurting me. “Homer finds his calling as a TV recapper”. Yeah, I’m going to feel bad about myself before this is over.

8:30-9 Bob’s Burgers – Gene’s friend, Alex, ditches him to be Courtney’s roller-dancing partner. Since when does Gene have a friend? I mean, aside from Ken the 28-year-old albino who does improvised hip-hop and has a pager.

BBC AMERICA

8-9:10 Doctor Who – The Doctor and friends show up in the 17th Century and get tied up in a witch trial. I think you mean “WITCH HUNT”, which our President has taught us is always in all caps.

AMC

9-10 The Walking Dead – MIDSEASON FINALE! So, we’re to assume that nothing happened during the six-year time jump? Considering people from the group were getting killed on a daily basis, suddenly there are no casualties in six years after Rick leaves? I think that’s the show acknowledging something that’s been clear for a while – Rick Grimes was a garbage leader.

 

“Your heart is telling you?! Who’s the boss, you or your heart? You are! Your heart is your employee! So get your heart off its butt and back to work!” — Hank Hill

 

“One might argue that a DJ and a junkie are not worlds apart on the evolutionary ladder.” — Sgt. Howard Hunter

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